Through Dreams and Despair
by signpost
Summary: The adventure is over and Lily has returned to her father's castle. But now she must go on another quest: to banish the Lord of Darkness from her dreams.
1. one

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the movie characters, sadly.  I only own the boring ones that I made up.**

_The voice held a cat-like smugness as it spoke.  "I've found my true mate – and you know it."_

_"Never," she said, her voice trembling despite her attempts to sound strong._

_He continued on as if she hadn't spoken, his velvety voice surrounding her, stripping away her soul.  "Was it not your sin trapped the unicorn? Even now, the evil seed of what you have done _germinates_ within you..."_

_She shuddered.  Despite her wishful thinking, the beast was right.  If it hadn't been for her, none of this would have happened.  The unicorn was dead, and it was all because of her.  All her fault._

_While her thoughts roiled in turmoil and shame, she continued to put up some semblance of resistance.  "No.  You lie.  You disgust me." Had that affected him? Had he recoiled at that, even slightly? The smug grin had definitely faded a bit, so she continued with a bit more relish.  "You're nothing but an..._ animal!_"_

_Unfortunately, that seemed to please him, as the self-assurance flowed back into his pointed face.  "We are all animals, my lady."  Suddenly, his eyes shone with visible intensity as he spoke with deliberation.  "Some are too scared to see it."  Then he started laughing, the sonorous sound rolling though the cavernous rooms and halls that surrounded her, louder and louder until her ears rang with it._

Princess Lily let out a choked gasp and surged upward in her bedclothes.  At first, panting frantically, she did not know where she was, thinking she was still with _him_.  Slowly, though, awareness returned and she remembered.  She wasn't with him after all.  It had been a dream, and he was surely dead.  She shuddered, remembering that short time alone with him, remembering the adrenaline that had pumped through her veins, shortening her breath and sharpening her vision.  But it was over.  Jack had saved her, though she was still not quite sure how.

"My lady!" The voice held alarm.  Lily turned her head, clutching the covers to her chest, to find her servant, Clara, standing in the doorway, holding an armful of dresses.  "Are you all right?"

"Clara," Lily said weakly, "yes, I am quite well.  Thank you for your concern."

Clara's dark eyes beheld her kindly from within a creased, round face.  She had been with Lily since the princess was a baby.  She had served as wet-nurse, nanny, and now lady-in-waiting.  "My lady, you're soaked to the bone.  Did you have another nightmare?"

"Y...yes," Lily admitted softly, pulling her sweat-drenched nightgown away from her body.  She hated acknowledging weakness, even if it was to Clara.  She had been weak before him, and she had wept.  She did not allow herself to do that anymore.  Let no one see her shame.  She shot a sideways glance at Clara, who looked even more concerned than she had before.

No one here knew what she had been through, or even that those two horrible days of snow and death had existed.  But for her and Jack, the world of mortals had been frozen in time.  When she had returned home, shaking with weariness, no one knew that she had been away for more than a few quiet hours.  But ever since then, her nightmares had increased and grown stronger.  Every few nights, the castle awoke to the sounds of the young princess screaming in terror, and she could not even tell them what her dreams were about.  Lily remembered each and every nightmare, but what could she tell them? _"I dreamed that I was kidnapped by the Lord of Darkness, who wished to make me his unholy bride"? No, they would only think she was disturbed and lock her away with the mentally unstable._

"Princess Lily?" 

Lily snapped out of her reverie and looked warily at Clara.

"Princess, your father is very worried about you.  We... we all are.  If you could just tell us something, anything to let us help you..."

"No," Lily said flatly.  "Clara, I've told you before, I don't remember anything about my nightmares when I wake.  You cannot help me.  Not even my father can help me."

"Oh, lamb..."

Lily let herself be enfolded in Clara's warm arms.  She hung limply as Clara murmured things meant to be comforting.  Her brown eyes stared over Clara's shoulder, her thoughts somewhere else entirely.

_Oh, Jack,_ she thought sadly, _I should have just stayed with you.  I made a terrible mistake..._

_She could see the pain in his wild, dark eyes as he looked at her disbelievingly._

_"What do you mean, you're leaving?" he said incredulously.  "After everything... After all that's happened? How can you just leave?"_

_Her heart ached.  She reached out to lay a slender hand comfortingly against his cheek, but the forest boy just jerked away.  Her hand curled helplessly, then returned to her side._

_"It's not _forever_," she said desperately.  "It's not as if I'm leaving you forever.  But don't you see? I'm a princess, Jack.  I can't just leave my father's castle forever, simply because I want to."_

_"Why not?"___

_She sighed, frustrated.  "How would it go if I were to just... disappear? My father, the _king_," she emphasized, "would send out his whole army to find me."_

_"So? We could hide.  I know all the secret places in this forest.  They'd never find us! Please, Lily, come with me."_

_Lily closed her eyes.  He didn't understand.  For all that he had become a warrior for her sake, for all that he'd defeated the Lord of Darkness, he was still just an innocent boy behind that armor._

_"I cannot, Jack.  We could not hide forever from the thousands of men who would comb the forest – and utterly destroy it."_

_"Destroy?"_

_He was beginning to understand.  She could see the awareness dawning in his brown eyes, so like her own._

_"Yes, Jack.  I cannot let your home suffer the marks of war."_

_"You've changed so much," he said admiringly, even as his face drooped with despair._

_She shrugged lightly, her brown ringlets rising and falling.  "I'm still myself.  I've learned how my actions can affect others, that's all.  I love you, Jack, and that's why I have to go home.  And – he is my father, Jack.  I'm all he has, I cannot leave him like this."  She bowed her head.  For an instant, running through the forest with Jack as his adventure-found friends waved behind them, freedom had been so close.  She had been able to forget who she was, and just imagine that all she was, all she needed to be, was Jack's woman.  But then she had remembered and pulled her hand out of his._

_"So," he said helplessly, "you will leave me to protect me, and I'll return to just being –"_

_"—Being Jack, the man I love," she said as firmly as she could muster.  "This isn't forever, Jack, I swear it.  I will come back and see you as often as I can, and perhaps, one day, I'll be able to convince my father to let me stay here – with you – for good."_

_This time, he didn't pull away when she placed her hand against his angular cheek.  She kissed him softly, promised once more to return, and walked away.  Though it was one of the hardest things she'd ever have to do, she didn't turn around for a last glimpse of him.  She knew that he'd be staring after her, his eyes filled with sadness, and if she looked back, she would not be able to leave him.  So she kept her back proud, her face distant, and walked towards the distant spires of her castle._

She had quickly been absorbed back into palace life, into the luxury to which she was accustomed.  Though she wanted to find some way to return to Jack permanently, her father was busy preparing for a war with one of their neighboring countries.  She didn't know exactly what the dispute was about – some foolishness over land or cattle, perhaps – but she was keen enough to know that now was not the time to broach the subject to her father.

And so Lily had remained, still trapped in the silks and silvers of palace life, waiting for the right time.  She had gone back to see Jack more than once, but they had not been the happy, carefree visits that they used to be.  Each time, he asked her to stay with him, and each time, she had to tell him no.  It hurt more and more each time he asked, and so her visits had become less frequent.  

Then, as war approached and faces around the palace grew ever tighter, she had been forbidden to leave the palace at all – for her own safety, of course.

_I ran away from you, Jack_, she thought.  _I thought I had grown up a bit, but I'm still the same spoiled princess I ever was.  And now, I cannot see you at all.  If only... I know I could tell you about my nightmares, and you'd understand.  Oh, I miss you, Jack..._

"Princess Lily? Are you listening?"

"I'm sorry, Clara," she said dully, "I got distracted.  What were you saying?"

Clara pulled back to look at Lily's face and sighed.  "Honestly, child, where _is_ your head these days? King Clarence has summoned you to an audience.  I was saying that you should wear your purple velvet dress... the one with the bodice and pleated skirt?  It looks so lovely against your skin, hmm?"

"My father? An audience?" Lily frowned.  Her father was not normally one to stand upon ceremony.  If he wished to see her, they would meet somewhere, as a typical father and daughter would.  He would not _summon her.  "Is everything quite well, Clara?"_

"Oh, aye, lamb, all's well.  Your father simply has some news that he wishes to share with you."

"I...see," Lily said, though frankly, she did not.  "Draw a bath, Clara, and lay out the purple velvet, then."

Lily stood timidly outside of her father's chambers, her hands clasped together.  For reasons that she didn't know, her hands were cold and clammy.  She looked quite presentable, though, despite her nervousness.  The purple gown hugged her slender form, then fell away into numerous folds and pleats, rippling to brush the floor.  It was certainly more daring than most of her gowns as well, with a wide neck that displayed, amply, the fact that she was no longer a little girl.  Her curly brown hair was pulled away from her face and swept away from her neck.

When Clara had finished dressing her, she had stood back with a sigh of admiration.  "You look so like your mother, my princess.  Your father will see it too."

Lily had merely stared in the mirror.  She did not see a beautiful princess in a regal gown.  As she gazed on, the dress in the reflection turned to a clinging black and the neckline plunged to reveal her ribcage and stomach.  Veils hung from the arms and a small black jewel nestled comfortably in the hollow of her throat.  Her face was the most changed of all.  Instead of her normal peaches and cream complexion, her skin was powdered white, her lips were rouged black, and her eyes...Oh, the reflection's eyes shone with such knowing.

A dart of excitement shot through her body.  Was that what she had looked like when...? Is that how the beast had seen her? She could almost feel the desire in his eyes as he stared unblinkingly at her.

_"I offer you this rose... Princess..."_ echoed in her ears, the gruff voice surprisingly gentle.  _"My heart... my soul...my love..."_

She reached up in fear and wonderment to touch the face she saw in the mirror, and in that instant, the spell was broken.  The mirror cleared.  Only her own empty, innocent eyes looked at her now, her face, her purple dress.  A quick glance at Clara assured her that the lady-in-waiting had seen nothing out of the ordinary.  

In fact, Clara had simply assumed that the princess's shaking hands signaled an excitement to begin the audience with her father, and enthusiastically pulled the unresisting princess through the gray stone halls of the palace to stand uncertainly in front of the mahogany doors to her father's chambers.

The lady-in-waiting was still watching her, Lily realized, just around the bend in the hall.  It would not be seemly for Clara to join Lily in entering her father's quarters, but the plump, older woman certainly wanted to know what was going on.  With Clara watching intently, Lily knew that she could not just continue to stand still in front of her father's doors, so she knocked timidly.


	2. two

As quiet as Lily's knock was, it was apparently loud enough.  "Enter!" her father's voice called.  Kind as it was, it held a note of command.  Lily took a deep breath, still unsure why she was dreading this meeting so, pushed the doors open and slid through to face her father.

He was sitting at his desk, a pair of spectacles perched on his broad face as he looked intently down at a mess of parchments on his desk.  "Close the door?" he asked absentmindedly.  Lily obeyed, knowing that Clara's face was falling with disappointment.

As the heavy doors clicked shut, Clarence removed his spectacles and looked closely at his daughter for the first time.  She looked back, noting the faded blue eyes, the thinning brown hair, the creasing around his eyes.  

"You look lovely, daughter," he said finally.

"Clara said that I look like my mother," she returned uncertainly.

"Ahh, your mother."  He smiled slightly and nodded.  "Did I ever tell you how I met your mother, Lily?"

"No, Father, you haven't." Now she was curious.  Her father was a guarded man, and he almost never spoke of her mother, certainly not of the past.

He rose to his feet, his brown tunic shifting around him as he walked over towards the window.  "I was a young prince, then, of course, and," he coughed uncomfortably, "very fond of the, er, presence of many young ladies.  My parents despaired of making a proper prince out of a rogue like me, but as I was not the heir to the throne – my older brother Thomas was, of course – they began to wash their hands of me.  After all, even if I were to father a thousand bastards, not one of them could lay claim to the throne."

Lily's eyes grew round.  Her father had never spoken to her this straightforwardly before.  She could not even begin to imagine where it would all lead.

"But then," Clarence continued, "as you know, Thomas was killed in a riding accident.  His horse balked at a jump and threw him.  Thomas broke his neck and died immediately.  Suddenly I, the younger son, the unfit one, was to inherit the throne and the safekeeping of this country.  I was furious.  Taking responsibility had never been my strong suit, and here I was, being told that I must take responsibility not only for myself, but for the hundreds of thousands of people who live in this country.  My mother, god rest her sweet soul, decided that the only way to bring me around to proper behavior was to find me a good woman, a good queen, one from whose side I wouldn't stray.  And so she found your mother.

"The Princess Rose was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life.  She looked a lot like –" he looked over at Lily fondly, "—a young woman I came to know years later."

"Father," Lily said softly, "why are you telling me this?"

He looked out the window again.  A warm breeze blew threw the room as he stared down into the forest that his castle overlooked.  "I fell in love with Rose as soon as I saw her," he said quietly, "but I can't say that she felt the same about me.  I wasn't particularly handsome, nor was I overmuch interesting to talk to.  I had one talent, which was bedding women, and I could not bed your mother as I wished.  Not till after we were married, in any case, and I knew she would not marry me unless she grew to love me.  I knew I had to change if I was to keep this... angel.  So I changed.  I became as good a person, as interesting a person as I was humanly able.  And she took notice of all of this.  She came to love me too, a great deal, I think.  The day we were married was the happiest of my life.  And the night that followed..."

A blush stained Lily's cheekbones.  "Father, _please."_

He looked back at her, returning from his memories.  "You're right.  My apologies.  Anyhow, nine months later, you were born..."

"...and Mama died," Lily finished softly.  "I know it's my fault, Father, but—"

"No!" Clarence exclaimed.  "It wasn't your fault.  I have never blamed you for her death, Lily.  She..." he wiped his eyes.  "She died happily," he said hoarsely, "because she knew that you were a healthy, beautiful little girl.  And I managed to be a good king for this country, because of what I had made of myself for her."

Losing his composure entirely, he turned to the window and hung his head.  Lily felt embarrassed for him, and for herself as well, because she didn't know what to say.  _Why are men so awkward? Why do they never know the right thing to say to do? _He_ always did.  Realizing what she was thinking, she quickly shook the thought out of her head and coolly resigned herself to waiting for her father to begin breathing normally.  Hating herself for it, she just stood there silently until her father regained his calm and turned back to face her, shoulders squared._

"Do you understand?" he asked.  "She did not love me at first, but love grew between us, and we were very happy."

A terrible thought took shape in Lily's mind.  "Father?" she said hesitantly.  "Why—why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling you this because you're no longer a little girl, Lily," the king said frankly.  "I'm telling you this because you're a young woman, and because...because the prince of Ethril has asked for your hand in marriage."

Lily's head spun.  It felt like she had just been punched in the stomach.  "The—the prince of Ethril?" she managed to choke out.

"And I've given my blessing to the match," he said.

Lily grabbed the edge of his desk to steady herself.  She grasped the cold wood, grateful for the feeling of something real and solid.  

"It's a good match, Lily," he continued.  "I'm certainly not going to live forever, and I'll be able to rest easier knowing that Prince Edgar can provide you with the comforts to which you are accustomed.  He's a good man, daughter, and... Remember your mother.  Love can grow, and I can't imagine that it wouldn't grow for you."

_I can_, she thought numbly.  _Because I've already given my love to another, Father._

King Clarence walked over to her and put his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.  "I know you have nightmares, Lily, though I don't know what or wherefore.  They make it difficult for you to sleep.  I know you're tired; I can see it in your face.  If your future is secured, perhaps you too will be able to rest easier at nights?"

Tears welled up in her eyes, despite her most earnest attempts to stop them.  She wanted to scream.  She wanted to throw his offer of marriage and security back in his face.  But she was a princess, and she knew well what was expected of her.  "Yes, Father," she whispered, her head hanging.

***********************************************

Back in her room, she lay on her bed and stared at the pink silk canopy billowing above her.  Though she knew that it hadn't moved, it seemed to press closer to her, trapping her, choking her.  

_Who can save me? _Lily closed her eyes and swallowed.  A face loomed, superimposed on her closed eyelids.  It wasn't a handsome face at all, really.  Quite hideous.  It was red, with yellow cat-eyes and sharp angles, crowned by a pair of majestic black horns.  It most often sneered, revealing its fangs, but sometimes it could look almost painfully earnest.  It was a face of a demon.  _The_ demon, in fact, and though she didn't know why, he appeared in her mind more and more often.  Lower down from the face was a huge body, red as his face, well-muscled, covered in a billowing cape that looked like a velvet night with a thousand blinking stars, and lower than that... Lily blushed.  She didn't know what was lower than that.  She hadn't looked.  _Not that I should, she scolded herself.  _I'm a well-brought up princess, for goodness' sake, and he was trying to kill us all._  She squinched her eyes shut and forced Jack's visage into her mind instead.  His sweet face, his soft eyes, his tender kiss floated before her.  __I can't marry Prince Edgar, she told herself firmly.  __Jack and I are promised to each other.  He trusted me, he saved me.  I love him.  I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'll do something.  Even as she resolved to fight this marriage, though, Jack's face wavered and disappeared, to be replaced by the demon's face again.  A large, red, clawed hand reached out to her as a smirk appeared on his face.  The echoes of _"Beneath the skin, we are already one_," rumbled through her mind, sending tremors of heat through her body._

She opened her eyes and moaned, beads of sweat popping out on her forehead, the velvet dress suddenly stifling.  _What is wrong with me? Lily thought in horror, but she was afraid, terribly afraid that she already knew._

That dark spell had changed her, and there was some darkness left still within her, despite all attempts to banish it.

Exhausted, she could deny it no longer.  Her heart cried out for Jack, but her body was, perhaps still under a spell or perhaps in truth, calling for _him.  For the Lord of Darkness._


	3. three

Her cheeks ashen, Lily clutched the covers with hands grown cold as ice.  She hadn't wanted to admit this to herself, not for a long time, but it was there, and it had been there.  The Lord of Darkness had invaded her dreams and her thoughts; now he invaded her waking life as well.

_I should have gone to Jack... or to Gump, even,_ she thought frantically.  _They would surely have known what to do, right? Or... I don't know what I should have done, but I should have done it sooner.  Damn me, I was just so comfortable here at the castle, I didn't want to admit that something was different, and now it's too late.  Now he takes over my entire life.  Where will it end? What does he want from me?_

She sprang off the bed and began to pace about her large chambers.  How could this be? She had not seen the Lord of Darkness perish in the abyss, but Jack had said that he had.  He had _said—_

Lily paused.  What was it Jack had said, anyhow? She wrinkled up her brow, trying to remember the exact phrasing.  Slowly, it began to come back to her.  _"He was hanging on the edge of a great abyss, and I, well, I hit his hand with my sword so he'd drop the horn.  And he screamed and tumbled back, until he was invisible, and shooting stars erupted from where he'd been.  He's gone now, Lily.  Gone forever.  I swear it."_

But he wasn't, was he? She didn't know how, but somehow, somewhere, he was still alive.  Maybe weakened, maybe not, but he had not died.  Jack hadn't killed him.  A wave of anger at Jack rose up inside her, but she suppressed it.  It wasn't his fault.  He had tried, hadn't he? He had been given every reason to think that the Lord of Darkness was dead, and after all, how could they have known that there was still some sort of spell on her? He had done the best he could to break it.  She held up her hand thoughtfully, looking at the ring on it.  _Jack went and risked his life for me.  It does not become me to resent him._  That did not, however, change the fact that Darkness was slowly beginning to torment her mind.

_So where is he?_ Lily scrunched up her face in thought.  Tentatively, in her mind, she called out, _"Are you out there?" _

She gasped and fell back onto her bed.  She hadn't expected a response, not really, and she hadn't gotten much of one, but there had been something.  It hadn't even been a word – Just a grumble.  A cat-purring, self-satisfied grumble.  _Could I have just imagined it?_  Deep down, though, she knew she hadn't imagined it.

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  So she knew that he was still alive, and that he was definitely out there somewhere.  _What should I do? Well, for starters, I must remember that I'm dealing with a demon.  If, for whatever reason, he wants me, he won't hesitate to hurt others to get to me.  He could hurt Clara, or Tom the baker, or James the herald, or even Father.  No one is safe with me here.  This is all my fault.  Which means... _ She swallowed past a sudden lump in her throat.  _...I must leave the castle.  I must leave, quickly and quietly.  And not come back till this is done._

With that decided, Lily felt stronger.  Somehow more confident.  The ability to make decisions was not one she took lightly, not anymore, not since it had all begun.  But now there was no choice, and she could not let anyone be hurt.

_Where should I go? Can I go hide in the forest with Jack?_ While she wanted to keep that happy thought in mind, she sadly admitted that she could not.  He would be scared of what was happening to her, and he'd want to go charging off and defeat Darkness again.  _I cannot let my silly boy get himself killed.  I cannot go and stay with Nell either.  It's just too dangerous.  I cannot stay with... anyone.  I have to go somewhere on my own and stay that way._

As the grinning visage of Darkness again stung the back of her closed eyelids, a sudden calm overcame her.  _I have to find him.  I have to find Darkness, and make this end or die trying.  I owe it to Jack, to Gump, to Oona, and all the rest of them.  And the entire kingdom._

***************************************************************

Though the thought of leaving was a frightening one, she could not deny that her adventurous side leaped in ecstasy at the idea of striking out on her own.  Over the next days that followed, she spent her free time making plans: how to get what she needed, how to leave without being caught.

Lily was really a very organized girl.  She made a list of items she would need to take with her, and put a tidy check mark next to each item she acquired.  

_Rations (enough to last for some time)_

_A pair of sturdy leather boots_

_A long-sleeved peasant's dress_

_A shawl_

_A dagger (to hide within boots)_

_Mud/Charcoals_

_A warm cloak (black, if possible)_

_A pack_

_A sword_

Sitting back and looking at the list she'd just made, she found it difficult to believe that it was so short.  As a princess, every time she'd traveled, everything she could possibly have wanted was provided for her.  If she wished for a book, she would be holding one within a minute.  Yet somehow, knowing that she would be traveling on foot, she had been able to shave down what she needed to just these few items.  _Well, those and the ring on my finger_, she mentally amended.  _It's all I have of Jack.  I cannot leave it behind._  And though Lily did not want to admit the possibility to herself, should she fail and need help, she needed only to show the ring to someone and they would recognize her as the princess.  _But, she thought fiercely, _I shall not fail.  Whatever it is I must do, it will be done._  Turning her mind to the list in front of her, she sighed and wondered how in the world she was ever going to get her hands on a sword._

*********************************************************

Supplying herself with charcoal with which to disguise her face was relatively easy.  One night after dinner, after the castle was asleep but for a few guards, she slipped down to the Great Hall, knowing where each guard was stationed and skillfully avoiding them, a girlhood of searching for secret passages in the castle aiding her on her way.  Once there, she stepped lightly over the hay spread on the floor and made her way to the fireplace where the blazing fire had its place during the cold of winter.  This being late summer, all there was in the dark pit were some old pieces of burnt wood.  Beneath them, however, was the charcoal she needed.  Picking up a few small pieces, she went back to her room as quickly as she could and hid them under her bed._  Item one, accomplished_, she thought triumphantly.

Unfortunately, the other accoutrements that she desired proved to be a bit more difficult to accomplish.

The next day was the day she'd decided that she was to acquire the peasant's dress and the shawl.  She could only think of one place in the castle that she might find those: in the lower levels of the castle where the servants worked.  Though none of them were allowed to go around in such uncouth clothing, surely some of them must have some of their old clothes, if only for relaxing.

Knowing that they would likely be working during the day, and asleep in their rooms during the night, she could not sneak around at night; she had to find her way there in broad daylight without being stopped or questioned.

It almost made her smile, imagining such an interrogation: "Milady, where are you going?"  "Oh, down to the servants' quarters."  "I'm afraid that you are not allowed down there, Princess."  "That is a shame indeed.  I have a tryst scheduled with the stable boy, and it would be a disgrace to not show up."

_A tryst with the stable boy?__ Where on earth did that thought come from? She was afraid that she knew only too well where this new lewdness, this new daring came from.  __Well, wherever it came from, it will work.  If caught, I will give that excuse, and will charge the poor guard not to tell my father, for my own safety._

With that decided, she stood up and left her chambers.  Sneaking down to the servant's quarters included a trip past the Hall of Portraits.  Lily didn't particularly like going through there – Walking through, even as a young child, she could feel all of her dead ancestors' eyes upon her.  This time was no different, though she felt that they were somehow more disapproving than usual.  At the end of the hall was a newer painting: her mother's portrait.

Lily did stop then, and look up at her mother.  Queen Rose was dressed in an intricate gold brocade with a scalloped neckline and a puffy, yet flowing skirt.  She stood straight, with her long, elegant hands clasped in front of her firmly.  Her face was serious, as was the tradition, yet there was something in her face – whether it was the arch of the eyebrow, the look in the eyes, or the quirk of the mouth Lily did not know – that suggested that the Queen would much rather be smiling and out riding a horse than standing stiffly in front of some arrogant court artist.

"Mama?" Lily whispered.  "Mama, can you hear me?" She paused, feeling silly, but half expecting a response.  Oddly let down when there was nothing, she continued, "Mama, I don't know if you would have liked what I'm doing or not.  You probably dislike it as much as the rest of the stuffy people in here would have." She encompassed the entire room with a wave of her hand.  "But I don't have a choice.  I'm doing it to protect us all.  I really am."  She paused, feeling vulnerable.  "And I'm doing it for myself, I suppose.  No matter where I end up, I'll try to make you proud of me."  With a final smile for the mother she had never known, Lily turned her back and kept walking.

Winding through a maze of halls lit by large windows, with golden light flowing through to illuminate the dancing dust motes, she almost made it to the servant's quarters without interruption.  However, no plan could ever go perfectly, and she was indeed apprehended by a young guard who snapped to attention at the site of her.  Of course, Lily reflected, she couldn't really blame him.  Today she was dressed in a tawny velvet dress, and her curly hair was loose and flowing.  She could almost feel his admiring eyes run over her body, but he remembered his duty.

"Princess Lily! What are you doing down here?"

She put an appropriately panicked look on her face, thankful that she had planned her story before coming down here.  "Sir guard! I... I was just taking a stroll!"

The young guard, who really wasn't bad-looking, with sandy hair and dark brown eyes, looked skeptical.  "A stroll? Down here, Milady? There is nothing down here but the servant's quarters.  Surely you'd rather stroll in the portrait hall?"

Lily was about to give her "tryst with the stable boy" answer when she thought of an even better idea.  She widened her eyes slightly and said, "The portrait hall? Sir guard, I've been through that hall a thousand times.  There is nothing... interesting up there."  Knowing how to do it without knowing how she knew, her lilting voice became throaty and suggestive.  Sinuously, she took a single step closer to him.  "Nothing for me to sink my teeth into.  Tell me, do you know of anything... interesting down here?"

He was affected, she was sure of it.  She saw the way his hand tightened on the hilt of his sword till the knuckles shown white, the way he rubbed his hand across his face in an attempt to hide his blush from his princess.  His voice was slightly ragged when he spoke.  "Princess, I don't think your father would like it if he knew you were down here."

A step closer.  "He won't know," Lily said huskily, bringing up a single hand to rest on the guard's well-defined chest, visible under his thin armor.  "Nobody has to tell him.  He doesn't need to know _anything that happens."_

That did it.  The guard was hers.  "What...what is it you wish, my princess?" he asked, swallowing.

"Bring me a brown peasant's dress and a shawl, any type.  No questions asked.  You do this for me, good sir guard, and I will do...whatever you wish."

His eyes glazed.  He wasn't a bad type, probably, but he was young and could not believe what he was being offered.  "A... what? A peasant dress and a brown shawl?"

She laughed lightly.  "Close enough.  Where would you like me to wait?"

He pointed to a cracked wooden door at the end of one of the halls he was guarding.

Lily smiled.  "Your name?"

"Connor, Princess."

"Well, Connor," she whispered, inches from his face, "I will wait there for you."

Dazed, he turned and stumbled in the opposite direction.  The seductive smile faded from Lily's face and she leaned against the wall, feeling weak.

_What on earth am I doing? Am I truly going to trade my virginity for a dress and shawl that can't be worth more than my nail clippings? What – what would Jack think?_ She swallowed.  Darkness must have put this crazy idea in her head; she couldn't have come up with this on her own! _Why didn't I just go with the stable boy idea? It was a good idea! It would have worked easily, with no more damage done than a random guard thinks less of me.  And now I'm about to let that random guard—_

While her brain told her to run away, her body straightened up and walked calmly towards the door Connor had indicated.  Though she knew that she was destroying her future, her body wanted this.  Every night that she had woken up with Darkness's voice echoing in her ears, every time she had run her hands over herself when alone and dreamed that it was someone else's hands, it had been this she wanted.

_I'll get it over with.  It can't be _that_ bad; people seem to enjoy it.  Like I said, no one needs to know about this.  Jack doesn't need to know.  Jack can't know.  Connor won't tell, even if he wants to brag to his friends.  He knows the rules as well as anyone: he would be ordered to death for daring to touch a member of the royal family.  He wants it, and god help me, I want it._

Her hand was on the doorknob.  She took a deep breath, then opened the door.  The room wasn't horrible, at least, a fact for which she felt inordinately grateful.  It had a single cupboard and a cot with neatly made blankets.  At a sudden idea, she shut the door behind her and quickly opened the cupboard.  _Yes!_ She silently exulted.  There wasn't much in the cupboard: a single change of clothes and a _dagger.  It wasn't being used much, that was for certain.  It was sitting in a layer of dust that suggested it had not been touched for several months.  She snatched the dagger out and hid it in the pocket of her dress.  _One less thing to worry about finding._  Biting her lip, she did realize that she was stealing from a man who didn't have much, but she managed to assuage her conscience with the thought that when all was done, she would give him a gold coin.  That should more than cover the cost of a new dagger, Lily decided.  She shut the cupboard door with a click._

Licking her lips, now more curious than afraid as to what was going to happen, she gracefully sat on the cot.  It wasn't very comfortable, but she let go of that thought quickly as the door opened and Connor walked in.

She ascertained in a glance that he had done as she asked and carried the dress and shawl in a bundle in his arms.

"How... how did you get them so quickly?" she asked, her voice squeaking slightly, despite her best efforts to keep it level.

He grinned impishly.  "My sister May is a seamstress.  I simply borrowed them."

Lily laughed, all nervousness leaving her, and stood up.  "A man after my own heart, it would seem."

Connor ducked his head, looking sheepish.  "I simply did as Milady wished."

"And what Milady wishes right now," she said quietly, "is for you to drop those on the floor and come here."

He did as he was ordered, but was still surprised to feel her arms snaking around her neck and her mouth kissing him sweetly.  Connor pulled back and looked at the girl, no, the woman who was right in front of him.

"Princess Lily," he said simply, "I swear that I shall protect you with my life."

Lily was puzzled for a moment, than laughed gaily.  "Sir Connor, as much as I appreciate the thought, your life is not what I want right now."  She pushed him, and he fell backwards onto the cot.  She joined him on the cot, lying on top of him.  "But I'd think that was fairly clear right now," she finished, feeling a sense of odd affection for him.  Putting her hands on either side of his sandy-haired head, she lowered her head, and kissed him, her dark hair covering them like a curtain...

****************************************************

Later, much later, she wobbled back to her room, in a daze herself, clutching her precious bundle of cloth.  She still couldn't believe what she'd just done, what had just happened to her.  It had felt good and she had enjoyed it thoroughly, no doubt about that.  It had only hurt a bit, at the beginning.

Connor had lifted his head when he heard her gasp, and had looked at her, horrified.  "Did I hurt you, Princess?"

"No," she had assured him, the pain already fading.  "I'm fine, Connor, I swear."  He had believed her, and within a matter of seconds, she had believed herself as well.

And after that... Lily hugged the dress and shawl to her chest, a small smile on her face, no matter how she tried to look serious.  After that it had been wonderful.  _I should have done this with Jack... No.  No, I shouldn't have.  Jack is an innocent.  Surely he has never... felt something like this.  Connor had known what he was doing though._

Afterwards, when she had pressed the gold coin into his hand, he had looked slightly puzzled.  "Princess? You're paying me? I did not do that for coin."

"Nor did I expect you to want any," she had answered.  "Don't consider it payment, consider it a gift from me to you." She flashed him her happiest smile.  Dazzled, he'd smiled back.

Ignoring the unaccustomed soreness, Lily ran through the Hall of Portraits, not wanting to look upon the disapproving eyes.  Not now, when she felt so good.

_In fact, it is strange that I do not feel more horrified.  I've lost my virginity.  I've made love to a man I don't really know.  I can no longer touch a unicorn._  She paused for a moment, than continued, unaffected.  _Not that I should ever have touched a unicorn in the first place.  I'm sure this is all for the best.  And, well, when I do this with Jack, he won't have to worry about hurting me._

Though she consciously tried not to think of the fact that what she had done would no doubt hurt Jack, the thought did invade her dreams that night... along with someone else.

_She crouched on the floor, hiding behind a large ridged column that swept towards the high, vaulting ceiling that seemed to echo back her every breath.  He was here too, she knew that.  He was here looking for her.  When she looked down at herself, she was only slightly surprised to find herself totally nude, but for a jeweled black necklace that nestled snugly between her breasts.  _He must not see me like this_, she thought in horror.  Though she attempted to cover her body as completely with her hands as she could, still her painted eyes peered around the column, searching.  A small bead of excitement lay in her heart.  _

_"My lady."__  The voice was quiet, and oh-so-confidently-deep.  With a gasp, she whirled around.  She hadn't thought to look behind her, and that was exactly where he was standing, in all of his horned glory.  It came to her vaguely that she had no idea how long he'd been standing there, and even more vaguely that she wasn't as bothered as she should be._

_Though her heart was beating quickly, all she let out was a slightly strangled yelp.  She was determined to be calm, not to nearly pass out, as she had the first time she'd seen him.  "Demon," she said back quietly._

_While she stood there, barely even trying to cover herself anymore, knowing he had seen it all, his eyes opened and closed slowly, panning over her body.  Judging by the leer on his face, he rather liked what he saw.  Turning from her, his glittering cape whipping around and very nearly hitting her, he walked over to a nearby table, his hooves making but soft noises on the floor.  He picked up a glass of deep red wine and held it up appraisingly, viewing her body through the translucent glass and the burgundy liquid before taking a sip of the drink._

_"Imagine my... surprise to find you back in my home, Lady.  Especially in such appealing attire."  He chuckled._

_"Imagine my displeasure at being here, Demon."  Slowly, her confidence was returning.  "I shan't stay any longer.  This is just a dream."_

_"Just_ a dream?__ Do you not remember what I told you, princess?"__

_The words leapt to her mind as if he'd just spoken them and they still hung, quivering, in the air between them.  _"Dreams are my specialty.  Through dreams, I influence mankind.  _My dream... is of eternity... with you."___

_"Yes," she said stiffly.  "I remember quite well.  If you influence dreams, surely you could influence me some clothes, I'm certain?"_

_"And why would I wish to do that?" Slowly, he began to close the distance between them.  "Newly deflowered women have a certain look about them that is quite pleasing to behold, a certain feel that is quite pleasing to—" A large crimson hand reached out and stroked one of her ringlets._

_"You know nothing, Demon," she said angrily.  "Do not touch me."_

_"Is that what you said to the young man? It is no wonder that he wished to take you – Quite enchanting when you're angry."_

_"I only did it because—" She trailed off.  Did she really want to tell him?_

_"—Because?"___

_She tossed her head haughtily.  "If you know what I've been up to, surely you know why."_

_His smirk slowly vanished as his lips pursed.  "Lady, there is much I know.  I can see what you did this afternoon as clearly as if I had been there.  Animal lust, princess.  I know it well and I can see it well."_

_She quickly understood that which he had left unspoken: he did not understand what she was doing.  Though there was selfishness in it, she was acting largely for the sake of others, and such kindnesses he did not understand and could not see._

_With the comfort of the knowledge that he could not rake bare her soul, she felt brave enough to say, "Demon, leave me alone.  Stop coming to me.  Leave my life, leave my home, and never come back.  Release me from this spell.  I shall never be yours, never."_

_"Spell?__ What spell might that be, my lady?"_

_She was infuriated.  "Do not play the idiot with me! You know quite well of what I speak.  Release me."_

_He slowly swayed forward till his glowing eyes were inches from hers.  "Release you? I think not.  Innocent you may look, but you are my true mate.  Deny it as you will, Lady, but your actions this afternoon only make it ever more abundantly clear."_

_The dream was starting to fade, but she still held on.  "Wait!" she yelled.  "I command you to leave me! Do not destroy my life!"_

_"Your life is no longer your own.  Not since the moment I first saw you.  I _will_ have you, will you or no.  And I am growing impatient.  Think you that some betrothal to some puny princeling will stop me? No matter who I have go kill, you will be mine."_

Her eyes snapped open.  _Oh god,_ she thought in dread, lying nude under her flowing covers, _what have I done?_


	4. four

She was wasting time, she was sure of it and horribly ashamed.  All of this dilly-dallying around while the Lord of Darkness grew ever more impatient, ever more willing to hurt those she cared about.  Lily was wasting time, and it was putting everyone in danger.

She flung her sweat-soaked sheets aside and stood up, her bare skin growing goosepimply as the cool air touched it.  _What is it I still need?_ As she threw on a nightgown and a pair of slippers, Lily mentally took note of everything she still needed to collect: _rations, boots, a pack, a cloak, and a sword.  And I need to get them tonight.  I need to leave the castle as soon as possible.  The nature of her errands seemed to grow ever more pressing and frantic as she tried to decide the best way to get what she needed.  _One thing at a time.___  Rations.  It's the middle of the night, so no one ought to be in the kitchens... I think.  To be frank, Lily had never actually been to the kitchens.  All of her food had always been brought to her, and she had never been taught to cook – No one ever expected that she might need to.  After all, she was a princess who would one day be a queen, no doubt.  Queens did not cook for themselves.  Never mind the fact that with each day that passed, it seemed less and less likely that she would ever live to be a queen._

She squared her shoulders.  _Right._  The kitchens.  Now... Where exactly are they?__

Sneaking around in the middle of the night seemed far less fun this time than it had when she had gone down to the Great Hall to get the charcoal.  That time, despite the fact that she had been planning to go, it hadn't really seemed real; it had seemed more like sneaking out to visit Jack.

Lily felt a sudden pang of guilt at the thought of Jack.  Here she was, preparing to leave the castle, perhaps forever, and she wasn't planning to see him, not even to say goodbye.  _It would be too dangerous for him.  But when she thought of his wild hair, soft brown eyes, and ready smile, tears gathered in her eyes.  She had as much as promised to be with him forever, and she had deserted him, even if it was for all of the right reasons.  Memories came to her suddenly.  __"Don't you wish this was our wedding ring?"  "If I say yes, will my wish come true?"  She shook her head, blinking away the unshed tears.  __When I come back, I'll go straight to Jack, and I won't leave him again, not ever.  Father will have to learn to accept that I cannot marry Prince Edgar of Ethril when my heart belongs to another.  A part of her knew that she was being unrealistically optimistic, but she clung to that happy thought with all of her might._

Before the events that had occurred: the unicorns, the Lord of Darkness, all of it, she had had no idea that anything important or frightening was about to happen.  By the time she had, it had been too late, and all she could do was go with it, hoping that she was making the right decisions.  It had all seemed to happen so quickly.  Now, however, she knew ahead of time that she was about to embark on something that was incredibly dangerous, and she had plenty of time to anticipate every single thing that could go wrong.  Lily suddenly felt very young, despite what had happened that afternoon with Connor.  Never had she been more conscious of the fact that she was small, not very strong, and definitely not brilliant.  _I'm just a spoiled princess.  How can I do any of this?_

She halted at a large set of wooden double doors.  Praying that the kitchens lay behind them and not someone's bedchambers, she pushed them open quietly and stuck her head in the doors, looking around hopefully.

Lily was lucky this time.  Her grateful eyes lit on the pots, the fires, the stacks of plates, the rows of wickedly sharp knives.  As she snuck into the cavernous rooms, her eye was on one thing only: the large, sprawling pantry.

****************************************************

About ten minutes later, she stole back out of kitchens, stopping only to push the doors closed with her hips, her arms loaded with food.  She had tried to take only non-perishables: dried venison and potatoes, mostly.  She had also grabbed a couple of loaves of bread from the counters.  The lack of variety in her choices frustrated her, but Lily knew that harvest was still approaching, and perhaps she'd be able to find more food along her way.  _Maybe I'll even manage to hunt._  Lily's nose wrinkled slightly at the thought of killing and butchering a creature, but her sensible side knew that if it came down to it, she'd be grateful to eat whatever she could.

She managed to make it back to her room without too many mishaps; she dropped items once or twice, but fortunately, she wasn't carrying anything in jars, and so never awakened anyone with the sound of shattering glass.  She simply tried to brush off the unfortunate items as best she could and kept going.

Upon reaching her room, she dumped the food onto her table and threw open her wardrobe doors, hoping to find something she could make some sort of acceptable pack out of, knowing that she had no idea as to where to find a real one.

Most of what she found was utterly unacceptable: dresses made out of fabrics that tore easily, and bright colors.  _That won't do.  I need something that will blend in.  It doesn't take an intellectual to know that I don't want to attract unwanted attention.  She had a sudden idea, however.  Shoving all of her pretty and utterly useless dresses aside, she groped in the back of the wardrobe and found it._

It was a riding dress.  It had been given to a twelve year old Lily, who had rejected it instantly.  _"It's so ugly!" she'd screamed, throwing the dress to the ground.  _"Why would I wear something brown!?__ And this fabric? Horrid and rough! Make me a better dress!"_   Now Lily allowed herself a small smile.  What a brat she had been.  _I still am one, really, but I'm improving, I hope._  The maker of that dress had known what she was doing.  Lily tugged experimentally at the fabric, and it didn't stretch even slightly.  __I could have saved myself quite a few fancier riding dresses had I worn this.  But it can still serve a purpose._

Grabbing the ever-present basket of needles, thread, and cloth that lay by her window, she knelt by her bed, holding the dress in one hand.  Her other hand reached out for the dagger that lay concealed within the peasant dress.

******************************************************

The sky was beginning to lighten by the time that Lily rubbed her aching hands and held up her makeshift pack.  It wasn't a beautifully made pack by any means.  Lily had never claimed to be good with sewing.  However, it was serviceable.  It had one large pouch, which she could close by means of a drawstring made out of an old hair ribbon, and large loops of cloth she could use to carry the pack on her shoulders.  _Not too bad at all, I suppose._  Her fingers had paid for her hard work, though.  She looked ruefully at her reddened hands, aching from a dozen or more pinpricks.

Lily was tired, horribly tired, but she knew that she had no time to sleep and no time to go steal from other people.  She tore through her many pairs of shoes till she found the pair that she deemed the most suitable.  They weren't perfect, but they'd do.  They were a pair soft green boots that seemed entirely too delicate for what she needed, but they were certainly better than all of the fancy high-heeled slippers she owned for dances and whatnot.

_I only need two more things: a cloak, and a sword._  Stifling a gaping yawn, Lily wearily stood up to make her way down to the armory.

This time, though, people were starting to wake up and she'd stopped caring whether they saw her walking around.  The entire castle knew that she had nightmares; perhaps they'd just assume that she was walking around to stave them off.  Once she got to the armory, however, just outside of the castle, she froze.

The Swordmaster, Thorne, was already awake and training with a sword that looked to be as large as she was.  There was no way that she could hope to sneak by him or hope to outwit him.  There was also no way she could get him to give her a sword without him telling her father about it.  

Once, when she had been very young and her father had still been too lost in grief for Queen Rose to pay much attention to her or to see to her training as a lady, she had snuck down to the armory to ask if he'd teach her how to use a sword.  He'd immediately placed a sword in her hand that was at least as heavy as she was.  Her small arms had trembled with the effort of trying to lift the blade off of the ground.  Impotent and frustrated tears had shone in her childish eyes as Thorne had easily lifted the sword out of her small hands and told her, not unkindly, that a sword was not a tool for a lady.  The very next day, her father had tutors sent up to begin teaching her to be a lady.  She had been so entranced at the sights of the beautiful dresses and small dainty stitches they showed her that she forgot all about her desire to learn how to fight with a sword and had focused all of her attention on becoming a perfect little lady.  After all, if it was what her bemused father wanted, she would do it to make him proud of her.  Every now and again, she had thought of her thwarted desire with a slight pang of wistfulness, but it hadn't seemed very important.  After all, by that time, she had understood much more clearly what was expected of her.  

Now, however, the plan for what was expected of her seemed utterly irrelevant, and with that thought in mind, she approached the Swordmaster.

"Sir Thorne!" she said sweetly.  "How do you fare this fine morning?"

Having seen her approach out of the corner of his hawk-like eyes, he showed no surprise at her presence as he continued to slowly and precisely swing his sword as he danced an intricate footwork.  "Princess Lily.  Better than you, it would seem, judging by the haggard look of your face."

She could have had him arrested and thrown into the dungeon for that remark and they both knew it, but Thorne's bluntness was well-known, and she still strangely appreciated the fact that he had even allowed her to briefly hold a sword on that long ago day.  "I imagine that we all have a great deal of cares.  My face simply reflects mine today."

"Are your nightmares of war, Princess? Of man cutting another man open with a piece of steel? Of brothers, sons, fathers, and husbands dying for a cause they do not care about? I truly doubt your 'cares' are that weighty, Princess.  They're probably over what dress to wear today.  No offense intended, but weighty affairs are a man's affair."

Lily was too startled by his statement to take much offense.  "War? Sir Thorne, of what exactly do you speak?"

Now he did stop moving, impatiently shoving his faded brown hair off of his sweaty forehead with a large, calloused hand.  "You don't know? What on earth do you do all day, Princess? You haven't noticed the increased security, or the fact that you've not been allowed outside the castle walls for weeks?"

"Of course I've noticed!" Lily said angrily.  "I've just been..."  _Too occupied with other matters to remember.__  Such as the fact that I'm being spellbound by the son of Satan himself. "...busy," she finished lamely._

"Busy? And no one informs you of anything, do they, Princess? You're just their little caged butterfly, aren't you? They tell you to dance to relieve their cares, and you dance.  Sweet child you are, but you've not a serious thought in your head.  Your life is that of silk and wine.  Go, Princess, and leave me to my training."

"Sir, you go too far," Lily said quietly.  The girl inside her shrieked, _How__ dare he, it's not fair, he doesn't know, no one knows... Outside, however, the woman she was becoming maintained her calm.  "You know no more of me than I know of you, and if you wish me to have a serious thought in my head, you ought to tell me what's going on."_

Thorne blinked a couple of times, clearly not having expected this response from her.  "Well, then, Princess Lily.  King Stefen of Granlen and your father are preparing for war with each other, and a right nasty business it's going to be."

She was stunned.  "King Stefen? But he always seemed so kind whenever I saw him.  Whatever could have happened?"

"King Stefen has a daughter about your age.  He wanted Prince Edgar for his daughter – Ethril is a valuable land to have connections too – but King Clarence managed to secure a betrothal for you to Edgar right under his nose.  King Stefen was enraged, as was his daughter, Princess Florie.  Apparently, she's been carrying a torch for Edgar.  From what I've heard, King Stefen might have been willing to let the whole matter go, but Florie's constant howling and whining infuriated him (he quite dotes upon his daughter), and so now he and your father are going to war.  I expect it to come any day now."

Lily stood stock still, trying to absorb this.  "There's going to be a war.  And," she said slowly, "it's... it's really my fault, isn't it?"

His eyes snapped up to hers.  "No, Princess, you mustn't think that.  This is an adult matter."

"What are you trying to protect me from, Thorne? You've never shielded me from the truth before, and it seems to be crystal-clear.  This war is because of me."

He sighed.  "Well, Princess, I wouldn't quite put it that way.  It involves you, but you did nothing to cause it."

"That makes no difference.  I suppose it's no wonder you were so sharp with me before." Drained, she leaned against a nearby wall.  The feel of the cool stone penetrated her thin nightdress, and for the first time, she realized that she was wandering around the castle in what amounted to underwear.  She looked down at herself.  Her developing figure showed quite clearly underneath.  Her first instinct was to blush furiously and hide her head in her hands, but instead she straightened her back and looked him square in the face, ignoring the slight blush that did indeed stain her cheeks.  "Look at me, Sir Thorne.  I'm not a child anymore.  My body's not the only thing that's grown and changed.  I'm no scholar, but neither am I a dunce.  I beg you, do not treat me as such."

He looked at her appraisingly.  "You had potential."

Lily gasped.  "I do beg your pardon, I'm sure, Sir Thorne?"

"I didn't mean it inappropriately, Princess.  As a child, before they force-fed you fluffy thoughts and turned you into a little ornament, you had potential.  You couldn't hold a sword – Nor should you have, as a female – but you had potential.  Though I was honor-bound to tell your father, I wished I had not.  You could have been someone to reckon with."  A slight smile curved his lips.  "For the first time since you came to me wanting to hold a sword, I have hope that perhaps you still might."

Belatedly, Lily realized that over the last ten or twelve years, every time he had spoken harshly to her or looked angrily at her, it hadn't been she at whom he was angry.  Not her at all.  With this new knowledge in mind, she decided to be bold; well, even more bold than she'd been thus far.  

"Sir Thorne," she said, nervousness pulsing at the back of her throat, "I need a sword."

Thorne was visibly startled.  "What's that, Princess?"

"A sword, Sir.  I need one, and you are the only person who can give me one."

He laughed, still not sure whether she was joking.  "It would be more than my life is worth to arm you, Princess Lily.  A sword on a female? You wouldn't know the first thing about how to use it."

The image of Jack holding a sword flashed in her mind.  "Some have to learn how to use a sword to save their lives the first time they pick one up.  I may not know much about swords now, but I would certainly find out."

His grin was fading.  "It is simply impossible, Princess Lily.  I cannot."

Knowing that if she did not convince him now, she would not be able to, she decided to gamble.  "Sir Thorne," Lily said firmly, "I need a sword.  It is not a question.  If you do not provide me with one, I will be forced to steal one, and I think neither of us would be pleased with the consequences of that act."  His head tilted and he looked at her tersely, knowing that were a sword found missing and unaccounted for in his armory, he would be likely to lose his job, if not more.  She added, more gently, "You have a war to fight; I also have my own war to fight.  Unlike you, however, I must do it alone."

"What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?" he asked wonderingly.  "What have you done?"

"I cannot explain, Sir Thorne.  Will you help me, or will you not?"

They both stood there silently, the sun peeking over the horizon.  Finally, he seemed to come to a decision.  Jamming his sword down into the hard-packed earth beneath their feet, he turned and walked inside the small shack where all of the castle's weapons were kept.  With sweaty hands clenched in the folds of her nightgown, Lily waited tensely.  When he came back out, he was carrying a small but elaborate sword in one hand.  The blade was clean and polished, the pommel and hilt were black leather with small rubies inset.  She involuntarily reached out for it.  Thorne held it out to her, and she eagerly grasped it.  Lily had braced herself for it to be heavy, and when it was light and seemed to fit perfectly in her delicate hand, she looked questioningly at Thorne.

"It would have been your brother's first sword, had you had one," he said, understanding her unspoken question.  "It had to be small and light, as befit a child.  When your father first found that your mother was with child, he commissioned a special sword to be made, hoping to gird it on his young heir.  Of course, then you were born and your mother died, and it was never used."

Lily looked down at the sword, feeling unaccountably guilty.  If her father had been given a son, he would have an heir.  Instead, Lily had been born.  She had nearly caused the end of all of creation, and now she was causing a war in which good men would die.  He would have been better off with a son.  And there was no heir.

"It was not your fault, Princess," Thorne said, unusually gentle.  "Your father had the choice to remarry and sire an heir, but he refused.  It was not your fault."

She swallowed hard.  "Sir Thorne, I thank you.  May I please have the sheath and a belt with which I can wear the sword?" After a few more seconds in the shed, he handed those over too, and she clutched them as she would a lifeline.  "I... I must ask you, Sir, not to tell my father about this."

He grinned, a grin that looked more like a grimace.  "You have nothing to worry about.  I saw the results of the last time I told your father.  No one will be looking for this sword, and you have my word I shall not betray you."  Thorne turned and squinted into the sun, suddenly looking older than his years.  He sighed heavily.  "You'd best hide those on your way back to your room, Milady."

Seeing that he considered the conversation closed, she hastily thanked him, attempted to hide the sword and belt in her billowing nightgown, turned, and ran.

Back in her room, she wanted to be able to sit and think about all that had just happened for a bit, but she was so tired that she only had the energy to thrust her new supplies under the bed, and fall asleep sprawled on top of the covers.

_This time she was on a throne.  It was made entirely of black marble, and was not especially very comfortable, but it seemed molded to fit her body.  Luckily too, she was not nude this time.  She was dressed in a black satin dress; it was not the dress he'd put her in before, though.  This one had a line of small black diamonds across the neckline of the dress – which, incidentally, was very low – and was cut low enough to expose her back down to the small to the cold marble.  Her hair was upswept in a very adult style, pulled severely away from her face.  The satin draped in folds around her legs, and her arms were lying on the armrests, as if she were meant to be there._

_Lily sighed.  "Come out, Demon.  If you insist on interrupting my sleep, you may as well show yourself."_

_"Please, Lady, call me Darkness.  It would gratify me greatly."_

_Her head snapped to the side.  There, sitting on her right in an identical throne that she could have sworn had not been there before, was Darkness.  He was dressed in black to match her dress, and his red skin shone even more brilliantly under it.  The combination of red and black reminded Lily of her new sword._

_"I do nothing for your pleasure, Demon."_

_A smile curved his lips, the tips of his fangs barely showing.  "I've heard that song from you before, Lady.  And yet you do.  You do many things for my pleasure, and I do enjoy them."_

_Lily didn't quite understood what he meant, so she decided to ask the question that had been plaguing her.  "Why me?" she whispered.  "Why, out of all women everywhere, did you have to choose me? Surely there are willing women somewhere?"_

_A self-satisfied sneer curved his pointed face.  "Willing women? There are many.  I have only to command and they will do as I wish.  But none of them... fascinate me as you do.  Your soul is still disgustingly good, but with every day that passes, it becomes a bit more tarnished, taking you closer to me, step by step.  Oh, you fascinate me, Princess.  From the first moment I saw you, standing alone, bedraggled and terrified in my dungeon with the unicorn you tried to protect, I have thought only of you." As suddenly as his smile had appeared, it was gone.  "I tried to woo you in the way I knew best, Lady.  I was willing to share my eternity, my power, my kingdom, all of it, with you.  Yet you scorned my gift," he spat.  "You chose that _boy_ over me."_

_"Love is an emotion you do not know and cannot understand."_

_"Love, is it?" A terrifying emotion appeared on his face.  "You will love me."_

_"N—no," Lily said nervously.  "I will not."_

_"I will make you love me.  You will come to me, and you will love me."_

_"No spell could make me forget Jack, Darkness," Lily said._

_He reached out with his clawed hand and enclosed her limp hand in it.  "It will not be a spell."_

"Princess Lily! What are you still doing in bed at this hour?"

Lily forced her heavy eyes open to find Clara bending over her.  "Clara," she yawned, "forgive me, I was merely tired."

"Well, Milady, you'd best wake up in a hurry.  The King wants to see you."

"What, again?" Lily asked, irritated.  She had not seen her father since the day he'd informed her of her betrothal to Prince Edgar.  It had not been malicious, but he had been busy, and with her new knowledge of the coming war, she now understood why.  Of course, with her own plans to make, she hadn't exactly been worried about seeing her father.

Clara raised a thick eyebrow.  "Yes, again, Princess, and you should wipe that look off your face.  Your father wouldn't take it kindly.  Now, I think you should wear..."

Lily let Clara dress her, unresisting, but not listening to a word her nursemaid was saying.  _Darkness wants me to love him? But he does not know love, so he cannot love me.  Can he? No.  He mustn't.  If he loved me, he would not be so willing to destroy my life.  No demon could know love; not the kind of love Jack and I share.  What he feels for me is sheer lust.  I must not give in._

"Well, then, dearie," Clara said, "you're all dressed and lovely.  Time to go see your father."

*******************************************************

Again Lily stood in front of her father, hands clasped nervously together.  It was as if no time had passed since she last saw him, as if the last days had been naught but a dream.  She was dressed differently, as was he, but other than that, all was the same.

"Tell me, daughter," he began, "how you have been.  I have not seen you overmuch."

"I have been fine, father."

Sitting behind his desk, he looked very small.  "Have you had time to think over your betrothal to Prince Edgar?"

"I have thought it over, and, father, I do not think—"

"My dear," he interrupted, "I am sorry to hurry you, but as I'm sure you've noticed, war is coming."

"Yes, father, I have been told, and I want you to know that—"

"Thus I'm afraid that we must move somewhat more quickly than we would otherwise."

Lily blinked, uncomprehending.  "Father?"

"You will leave here tomorrow morning," he said matter-of-factly.  "You will travel with an armed escort, and you will go straight to Ethril, where you will wed Prince Edgar without delay."

She felt faint.  "Father, I can't—"

"I am sorry to rush you, my dear, but if you do not leave immediately, it will not be safe for you to travel.  It grieves me that I must miss the wedding of my only daughter, but I must stay here and oversee the armies.  I will, of course," he added hastily, "come and visit you when your first child is born."

_"Father!"  Lily said, infuriated.  "I cannot marry Prince Edgar, do you understand? I cannot.  Let the Princess Florie have him.  Avert this war and free me from this unwanted obligation."_

He stared at her.  "Daughter, I do not think that you realize what you are saying. 'Unwanted obligation?' Do you not realize what an honor it is that such a fine, noble gentleman has agreed to wed you, a princess from a small, backwater country?"

"It is an honor, I know," she said, frustrated, "but one I cannot accept.  My... my heart is given elsewhere."

Now her father looked angry.  "To whom?" he roared.  "One of my guards? A dishonorable young man who deflowered my only daughter in his trash heap of a room?"

Lily staggered in shock and caught hold of the edge of his desk to steady herself.  "F—father! I did not—"

"Do not take me for a fool, daughter," he said, his voice colder than she'd ever heard it.  "This is my castle, and I make a point of knowing everything that goes on in it.  There are holes in the walls and my spies have spies.  I know exactly what you've been up to."

_He knows! Oh, merciful god, he knows.  _She looked at him in fright.  _Does he know everything? What is he going to do to me? I'll never be able to escape now._

"It is a fine tale.  My well-brought-up daughter gallivanting around the castle, peeking at my guards, deciding which one would be best to sin with."

Though she was still terrified, she was suddenly flooded with relief.  _Oh, thank goodness, he doesn't know that I'm leaving.  He just thinks it was all so I could seduce some hapless guard.  Thank goodness._

"For the tender feelings I bear you, I would have ignored this...occurrence.  If you are adult enough to seduce a guard, surely you would be adult enough to fake still being a virgin with Edgar, and there would be no insult offered.  If you were to consummate the marriage soon enough, there would be no suspicion should you prove to be with child.  However, now you think to cancel the betrothal so you can marry some good-for-nothing guard.  No, Lily, you will go to Ethril tomorrow, and wed Prince Edgar with no complaints.  As for the guard, he shall receive justice.  Go to the prince and forget about the guard.  That is a command, both from your father and from your king.  Go now, and prepare for your journey."

With that said, he turned back to his work, waves of anger still rolling off him.  Lily did not feel capable of movement.  _With child...?_ Her hand flew to her belly.  She had never even considered the possibility.

Slowly, she picked up her leaden legs and moved towards the door.  She paused.  Her father's riding cloak was lying crumpled on his bed.  It was black.  _Could I really steal from my own father? Then she remembered what her father had said – The sooner she left, the safer she would be.  Her father, knowing her feeling, would no doubt expect her to try to escape, but not right away.  With that in mind, she picked up the cloak and rolled it into a small bundle as she walked out the door._

Luckily, this time Clara was not waiting for her.  _Before I return to my room, I have one more thing to do..._

*********************************************************

It did not take her long to hurry to the servant's quarters.  She breathed a sigh of relief when she recognized the guard in the hallway.  

"Connor!" she said loudly, hurrying towards him.

A change went through his body when he saw her.  He straightened his back and a small grin appeared on his face, no matter how he tried to hide it.  "Princess Lily! To what do I owe the honor of this visit?"

"He knows," she said hurriedly, wasting no time, yet sorry to see the smile disappear from his face.  "My father knows.  He's going to have you punished.  You'd best hurry and leave, right away."  He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.  "Don't tell me where you're going; my father has spies everywhere and they'd hear.  But if you value your life, you might go, right now."

"Princess," he said slowly.  "I cannot.  I... As much as I enjoyed—I knew we shouldn't have.  I'll take my punishment."

"No!" she cried.  "You mustn't! Please, please, leave this castle."

"I am a man of honor, my lady.  I am not a coward."

She was growing desperate.  "Please, Connor, you swore to protect me with your life.  How can you protect me if you're dead?"

He froze.  Underneath his bravado, she could see that he was still very young, and did not want to die.  "I..." he said haltingly.  "I cannot just abandon my duties."

"You _must.  It means your life.  I am sorry that I have forced you to this, Connor, but here you are, and you must choose: your honor as a guard or your life.  I beg you to choose life."_

Connor stared at the ground.  "I will choose.  Please leave me now, Princess."

She reached a hand towards his face, feeling ashamed and regretful.  She never touched him, though.  Her hand wavered an inch away from his drawn skin, and she turned and fled, tears in her eyes.

****************************************************

Back in her room, Lily slammed the doors shut and dragged all of her supplies out from under the bed.  She struggled out of her dress, ripping the sleeve in the process, but she supposed that it didn't matter.  Shrugging the comfortable brown peasant dress on, she was surprised how well it fit.  Next she put on the soft green boots.  She stuck the dagger into the boots, knowing that she might well value its presence.  She buckled the sword to her side, hiding it in a fold of the dress.  Sweeping the food into her pack and drawing it closed, she hoisted it onto her back.  She next covered her hair and chin with the grey wool shawl, pulling several of her ringlets loose and wetting them with water so they would lie dank, scraggling upon her face.  Lastly, she picked up a piece of charcoal and blackened parts of her face, along with several of her teeth, ignoring the gritty taste in her mouth.

Looking at herself in the full-length mirror, she knew it was time.  If she twisted her face just so, she was virtually unrecognizable.  She would leave the castle by a side entrance and walk into the neighboring village.  All anyone would remember was an ugly peasant woman with missing teeth.  Later, when they discovered that she was missing, they would put two and two together and realize that the ugly peasant woman had, in fact, been the Princess Lily, and she had been heading into the village.  They would give chase, but by that time, she would have doubled around and be deep in the forest.  Thus she would not be caught, and the forest would be left unscathed.

At the door, she turned around and looked at her room one last time.  Unbidden, tears came to her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks, leaving grimy paths on her dirty skin.  She resisted the urge to wipe her eyes.  _It's fine.  They'll make my eyes red, as if from drink, and it will provide me with an even more complete costume.  Though she told herself that, she knew that the tears were of sadness and fear.  __I might never see my old room again._

But it was too late for second thoughts, too late for "what-ifs."  She sniffled, took a deep breath, and opened her doors.

************************************************************

Off-duty now, Connor leaned against the warm stone wall of the castle, enjoying his time outside, and seriously considering what the Princess had told him.  _How could I have been such an idiot? The Princess is... wonderful, but how could I have let that cloud my judgment so much?_ He hung his head.  _I don't want to die, but I know I deserve whatever is coming to me.  I seduced a virgin princess.  He squinted up at the sun, knowing that it would likely be the last time he would ever see it.  When he went back inside, he was sure to be arrested.  He would be thrown in a dungeon and executed.  __Death's not so bad.  Really.  _

As he gazed off into the distance, trying to prepare himself to be brave, he saw a shadow detach itself from the castle and hurry off towards the village.  _It's no one, just some old peasant.  Worry about yourself, you idiot._  Then he blinked.  The peasant had looked somehow...familiar.  Then a slender hand raised itself to adjust the woolen shawl that covered the peasant's head, and a recognizable black and white ring glinted on a finger.  He knew that ring.  Its owner had put her hand on his chest yesterday.

"Princess Lily!" he whispered in shock.  "What are you—" He didn't finish the thought.  All he knew was that she had to be in some sort of trouble, and he had sworn to protect her.  Glancing around to make sure there was no one watching, he pushed himself away from the wall and followed after her.

**pinkdragon****: Thanks! I realize that this chapter doesn't have many characters in it, but I promise that more familiar characters _will_ be showing up in coming chapters.**

**Mistress of Darkness: For starters, fabulous screenname.  I'm glad you're enjoying it.  As to whether Lily ends up with Darkness or not... You'll just have to wait and see.  For that matter, so will I, since I haven't decided yet.  I'm afraid that it seems like he'll be keeping a low profile for most of the story, but of course, that's subject to change.**

-signpost


	5. five

It had been a long and often frightening flight from the castle.  It had been one of the most difficult things Lily had ever done to keep herself from looking back at the castle, though whether in fear of capture or in homesickness, she did not know.  Once she had convinced herself that there was no possible way that anyone knew that she was gone yet, the walk through the village had been simple.  No one in the village had recognized her, so she was free to walk amongst them unmolested and invisible.  She had walked through close to three-fourths of the village before a suitable moment had presented itself.  Noticing that the crowd had thinned and that no one was glancing in her direction – they were all looking the other way, focused on a traveling minstrel and his songs of fair maidens and brash knights – she slipped through the space between the blacksmith's and the blacksmith's small cottage.  Off the main road, she walked freely through the small, winding back passages until she reached the edge of the village.  

And into the forest she walked, knowing that she was passing the castle again in the distance.  Until she knew that she had left the castle behind, she kept up her limping, hunched visage.  Finally knowing that she was alone, though, she straightened up, hoisted her pack higher, let the sword swing free, and walked quickly, enjoying the day despite her apprehension.  Pulling the shawl off her head, her brown hair fell free.

For it really was a lovely afternoon.  Though it was late summer, the flowers were still in full bloom.  Dust motes danced lazily on a light breeze, and the trees were thick and full.  For not the first time, Lily thought that it looked like an enchanted forest.  How did the leaves stay so green when the trees in the castle's gardens were already turning yellow and twirling to the ground? How did she not crush any flowers, striding directly through them, when the castle's flowers were fragile, and their stems snapping at the merest grasp? It had to be an enchantment.

As she walked, she stooped over to pick a light blue flower as she had so many times before... and for the first time ever, hesitated.  Should she really pick it? After all, didn't it look plenty pretty where it was, surrounded by other light blue flowers? She straightened back up and looked all around her.  There had been a time when she could have picked as many flowers as she wished, and made herself a soft crown with them.  These days, though, it just didn't seem right.

Lily sighed.  Trying to be an adult and to be responsible really wasn't very easy.  To take her mind off it, though, she just kept walking.  Soon she began to recognize her surroundings.  She swallowed uneasily, remembering that though she hadn't yet been caught, she still might be.  After all, this was the part of the forest where she and Jack had met so often.  If he happened to be in this area –

Her thoughts were cut short at the sound of noise in the trees overhead.  Without stopping to think, Lily threw herself flat to the ground, tugging the grey shawl back over her head as she fell.  She hit the ground with a very unladylike _oof_, just as mere feet away, feet hit the ground.  Very familiar feet.  Knowing now that it would have been wiser to skirt this area, Lily unhappily kept her face buried in the dirt.  He was going to kill her, he was going to insist on going with her, and then he would probably kill her again.

"Miss?" a polite voice asked.  "Are you all right?"  She knew that voice, knew it with every inch of her body.  It was quiet and not especially deep, but she loved it anyway.

Grasping at every second she could stay prone, though she was surprised that he hadn't recognized her immediately, she muttered in a high, reedy voice, "Just fell, sonny.  Quite all right... It was my bad hip."

"Well then, Ma'am," he said, thinking he really was talking to an old lady, "let me help you up?"

She had no choice, so Lily allowed him to gently pull her to her feet.  Though she kept a twisted expression on her face, the shawl tightly on her head, and her hands out of sight, tears still rose to her eyes when she came face to face with Jack.

He looked exactly the same as he had the last time she'd seen him.  The same raggy clothes that looked as if they were sewn together from grass and leaves, the same wild brown hair, the same feral face, and the same soft brown eyes.

_Oh, how I missed you, _she wanted to whisper.  _Oh, how I love you.  Oh, how I need your help._  Lily knew that part of her was waiting, wanting him to recognize her, knowing that Jack, of all people, would see through the mask she had put on.  But things had changed.  She had slept with another man, though she didn't allow herself to think of Connor and his likely fate, she was being hunted by a demon, and she could not involve him.  Swallowing, she forced the tears back from her eyes, and opened her mouth to reveal her "missing" teeth in a hideous smile.

"You're all right now, Ma'am?"

He really didn't recognize her.  For a minute, Lily couldn't breathe.  She quickly recovered herself and said in the same cracked voice, "Oh, yes, sonny.  Quite all right.  Thank you for your help."  In the same breath, she pulled her arms away from his grasp, suddenly seething with rage inside.  She turned to walk away, but his tentative voice stopped her.

"Ma'am... not many people come through this way.  You came from the direction of the castle... Is there any chance you know the Princess Lily?"

_Bastard, _she cried inside, but outside all she said was, "Know _of her, lad."_

"Tell me," he said breathlessly, "is she well? What has she been doing?" Catching the "old lady's" gaze like a hawk on him, he added, "She and I, we've met once or twice."

Lily grinned toothlessly, itching to smack his stupid face.  "_Quite_ well, lad.  She's well.  Engaged to be married.  Never seen her happier."

The second the words were out of her mouth, the most desolate expression she had ever seen came over his face.  _Married? he mouthed, and she nodded, now sorry for telling him that, for mocking him.  He did love her, he really did, she knew that._

"Married," he said dully.  "I... I see.  Thank you, Ma'am, for telling me."  Turning away, he plodded slowly towards the trees on the other side of the meadow.  Jack didn't say another word as he walked away.

Once he was out of sight, Lily sighed deeply.  She had been mean, horribly mean, and she knew it.  _But... he didn't even recognize me! she wailed inwardly.  __Shouldn't he have seen through the charcoal on my face? Shouldn't he have just known? My disguise isn't that good, right? He didn't know me..._

Lily sniffled loudly.  A twig cracked nearby.  She spun around, her heart suddenly pounding, remembering the sensations, the fear, of being kidnapped by the goblins and carted off to meet their master.  After she satisfied herself that no one was in sight, she straightened her shoulders.

Right.  The goblin's master.  In the whole adventure and the planning, she had managed to push aside the whole reason why she was doing this.  She was going to defeat Darkness, somehow, some way.  And when she came back, Jack would surely forgive her.  He would have to, wouldn't he?

**************************************************************

It felt like she had been walking for an eternity by the time she stopped that night.  In reality, she knew that she'd probably gone no more than a few miles, if that, but her aching legs wanted her to think otherwise.  Somehow, though, she'd managed to keep herself walking, even when her body begged her to stop.  _I have a long way to go_, she had told herself sternly.  _I have no time for weakness._

Finally, though, exhausted and sore, she could go no further.  It had not been night for more than an hour or so, but Lily was slightly frightened of walking through the woods all alone at night.

Somehow, she found the perfect place to spend the night.  She had long been out of familiar territory, so she was truly thankful when she happened upon a small clearing with a little stream running through the corner of it.

Lily didn't have energy to do much, though.  She stumbled over to the stream, washed her face, swished water in her mouth to clean away the gritty charcoal, then spat the dirty water to the side, and took a long, cooling drink that involved dunking her weary head all the way underwater.

When she came up for air, though, she knew that she just wanted to sleep, even if it meant that she didn't eat tonight.  She staggered back over to her pack and unhooked her cloak, which, for the last hour or so, had felt like a millstone around her shoulders.  The cool air felt nice against her lightened frame as she bundled the cloak into a pillow.

Her bed this night was very different than her bed this morning had been.  With that thought, as she lay down, Lily removed the sheathed sword from its belt and fell asleep with it cradled tightly in her arms.

For once there were no dreams, nor did she even stir when a shadowy figure crept into the meadow to take a refreshing drink from the stream, much as she had, then, wiping his mouth and sighing, wondering what he (and she, for that matter) had gotten himself into, melted back into the woods.  

****************************************************

The sun was already high overhead when Lily moaned and opened her eyes a crack.  For a minute, all she could think of was food.  Not noticing the small figure crouching but a few feet away, she grabbed her pack, dropping the sword.  Her eager fingers felt for a piece of meat, which she eagerly wolfed down.  She was reaching for another when she noticed that she was not alone, and shrieked, scrambling for her sword.

"Now, then, Princess," said the boy, his voice not quite human, "I don't think you want to hurt me, do you?"

He was familiar.  She stopped scrambling and looked at him, then burst forth with a sigh of relief.  "Gump!" Lily snapped, trying to make her heart start beating again.  "How dare you scare me like that?"

Dressed in naught but a small fur covering his mid-body, the slender boy with the pointed ears and fiddle strapped to his back shrugged as Oona, the ever-present fairy disguised as a small flash of light zoomed around the clearing, making incoherent noises.  "You shouldn't scorn help."

"Help? _Help? Help, as in, scaring the __life out of me when I'm already tense?"_

"It is a dangerous mission you embark on, Princess, and eviler creatures than I roam these woods.  Your wits need sharpening, and I think you'd rather 'twas I that sharpened them."  He grinned mischievously.  "But if you'd prefer to wake up looking at them, I will be happy to leave you to their tender mercies."

"No!" Lily exclaimed.  "No, no, Gump, you're right, I'm sorry.  I wasn't—"

"—thinking?" he suggested.  "If you're determined to go through with this, you'd better learn to start.  You're capable of getting us all into a lot of trouble when you don't think."

She glared at him.  "That's not fair, Gump.  When I touched that unicorn, I didn't _know."_

"So you'll be happy to declare complete innocence when you've somehow again cursed this world?" He lifted an insolent eyebrow.

Lily hung her head.  "Very well, Gump.  You win.  I was wrong, you were right.  Again.  So what are you doing here?"

"To give you that advice.  This may well be more dangerous than you know."

"You know?" she asked.  "You know what I'm doing?"

He nodded, suddenly looking wizened.  "I know.  The forest knows.  You go to find the Lord of Darkness?"

"Y—yes," she said.  "I do."  She looked around, the enormity of her task again striking her.  Lily looked back at Gump, allowing her desperation to show in her eyes.  "Gump, do you know where he is? Can you tell me? How can I find him? I don't know where to start."

He pointed the direction to her left.  "He's that way.  Over the Frozen Mountains at the edge of the forest, and behind the Shivering Forest on the other side of them."

Lily stared at them, her heart sinking.  "But... but that's so far.  How can I ever make it that far?"

Gump looked at her sympathetically.  "Because that is the task you have set yourself, Princess."

She grabbed desperately for Gump's hand.  "Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the right thing?"

"You are trying to protect those you love," Gump replied, "so that is the right thing.  As for whether you have done the right thing, there are many different paths that lead to the same road.  You picked your path, and it will take you to the road, but perhaps in a different way than others."

"Riddles, always riddles," Lily said, almost angrily.  "Why do you not just talk clearly?"

"Why should I tell you humans everything you want to know when it's better for you to figure it out on your own?" Gump grinned impishly.

A thought occurred to her.  "You—you won't tell Jack what I'm doing, will you?" _He didn't even recognize me._  Gump said nothing.  "I mean, Gump, you know Jack.  He'd insist on going with me, and he'd get himself killed.  He's too... too innocent for this."

"And this is not a trip for those who are innocent," Gump said.  "I know what you are saying, Princess.  But do you really think that you can face him alone?"

Lily hung her head.  "I do not know.  But I have to try, don't I? It's not a unicorn he wants this time, it's me.  Why should I put others at risk? If all else fails, I can... I can always..."

"...give into the demon and give him the rest of your life, along with your body and your soul?"

"My father is a king," Lily said with sudden conviction.  "When a king goes to war," _as my father is now_, "he is supposed to ride at the head of his troops, and be willing to sacrifice his life for his men, as they must for him.  I may not be a boy, and I will never be a king, but I have my father's blood.  Should I do any less for my people? And," she added, "should I do any less for any creatures that lie between Darkness and myself?"

Gump looked at her, his face impassive, but the expression in his dark eyes was somber and almost admiring.  "So you have actually thought this through."  He sighed.  "Know, then, Princess, what I know.  Darkness survived, clearly.  He was rescued, though by whom I know not.  He was only a breath from death – or however close a creature like he can come to dying.  Since then, he has been in a cave beyond the Shivering Forest, restoring his strength and powers.  Yet he has made no move to return here, to the Great Tree.  This puzzles me."  Gump paused, looking at Lily.  When she nodded, motioning him to go on, he did.  "He has been influencing things on this side of the mountains, however.  It was he who whispered to that princess that she wanted the prince meant for you, thus it is he who has set the course towards war.  Clearly, he has been showing himself to you, if only in dreams.  And within the forest..."  He trailed off, sadly.

"What? Within the forest _what_?" Lily demanded.

Gump rubbed an arm across his eyes.  "Within the forest, there are places – small spots here and there – where the sun has ceased to shine.  I do not know how he has done it, but in these places, all the plants have died from lack of sunlight.  And each day, these places grow larger.  If he is not stopped..."

He didn't need to finish.  Lily saw what would happen as clearly as he did.  "He must be destroyed," she whispered.  "Or, if he cannot be," she swallowed, "he must be pacified."

"It will not be an easy journey, Princess," Gump said, choosing not to discuss what she meant.  "I will attempt to help you – I might be able to speed your journey to the foot of the Frozen Mountains – but beyond that, I can do nothing."

"How can you help me?" she asked almost bitterly.  "It is not as if I could ride upon a unicorn's back, and the mountains are still far away."

"Yes, perhaps two or three days of quick walking, and that is if you don't stop to sleep," he replied.  "However, did you not notice that _this" he waved his arms around them majestically "was the_ perfect_ place for you to sleep?"_

"Yes," Lily said slowly.  "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It is difficult to explain," Gump answered, "but I can sometimes shift places in the forest around."  At her confused look, he tapped his fingers on the grassy ground.  "I can take one spot in the forest – say, this meadow – and place it elsewhere in the forest, along with whatever or _whom_ever happens to be in it."

"Are you saying," Lily said, growing excited, "that you put this meadow here just so I could find it? That you could move this whole meadow to the edge of the mountains in seconds?"

He shook his head.  "No, that measure of power is not given to me.  And with Darkness doing... whatever it is he's doing to the forest, it drains me.  But time by time, every time I regain strength, I can move you a bit further even as you walk."

She was frustrated.  It would still take her a long time to reach Darkness.  But she accepted that it was the best he could do.  "I thank you," she said quietly, "for whatever help you give me."  Lily paused.  "Why _do_ you help me, Gump?" She stared into his eyes.  "The end result would be the same, whether I get there sooner or later.  So why do you help me?"

"Because," he said equally quietly, "you have saved my life on more than one occasion, and I believe in paying back debts."

"Saved your life?" She laughed disbelievingly.  "Gump, I have only seen you once in my life, and that was _after_ Jack broke the spell and the danger was gone.  How could I possibly have—"

"Humans," Gump snorted.  "They think there is only one kind of life-threatening danger.  Princess, you have twice saved the forest: once when you left Jack to return to the castle, and once yesterday when you purposefully walked _away from the forest to lead your father's guards in the wrong direction.  They still believe that you moved away from the forest.  Thus, you have saved me twice.  And if you succeed on your quest, you will have saved the forest a third time.  Thus, you will have saved me a third time."_

"Yes, the forest is your home," Lily said, feeling as though she were still missing something.  "It is home to a great many creatures."

"Princess, you are not listening.  I live because you saved me.  Specifically.  Personally.  You saved those within me as well, but indirectly.  You saved _me."_

An idea took shape in Lily's head, but it was far too ridiculous.  "Are you saying," she asked, almost sheepishly, "that _you are the forest?"_

She was expecting Gump to laugh, but instead he just nodded.  "Aye.  That I am.  Or the spirit of the forest, rather.  The places in the forest that are dying have died within me... and they start to kill me, Princess.  When I am gone, the forest will be gone too." Lily couldn't think of anything to say, so she just nodded.  He had said it so matter-of-factly, and yet, so very sadly, that she had the sudden urge to hug him.  "It is as if," he whispered, "someone is taking small pieces of my body and cutting them away from me."  Suddenly, he looked so much like a little lost boy that it was hard to believe the wild, exotic, laughing heart of the forest lay within him.  Or did he lie in the heart of the forest? Or were they just one and the same? It really didn't matter, but her mind dwelled on it, wishing that it were just another of his riddles.  Lily wasn't especially good at solving riddles, but they were more harmless than this.  

"I will... do what I can to save you," she said, feeling stupid, and knowing that what she had said was just so very insignificant, that something better, more important ought to have been said.

He didn't seem to mind though.  "I know you will."

"Does it, er, hurt?"

Gump nodded.  "More than I hope you will ever know, Princess."  Suddenly he seemed to banish his sadness and become again the slender, mischievous elf she had known.  "But you have a long journey again, and you will not get there by commiserating with me."

Lily nodded.  "My legs hurt, and I don't mind the time talking to you, but I suppose you're right.  I should be going."

As she struggled to her feet and leaned down to gather her things, twisting up her face as her legs seemed to creak, Gump tilted his head to the side, thinking, then coming to a sudden decision.

"Princess," he said quietly, "you are not alone."

She smiled gratefully.  "I understand, Gump.  Thank you for your support."

"No, Princess," he replied, seeming to hide a snigger.  "I did not mean it metaphorically.  I mean that you were followed last night, and this person has heard every word we have said.  You may have been determined to go it alone, but the choice was not yours."  He shook his head in mocking pity.  Lily just stared at him, astonished.  She had been followed?

As she stared around the clearing, wondering who had followed her, she didn't notice Gump spring to his feet and run off into the woods.  

_Jack? Could it be Jack?_ If she had to travel with someone, she wanted to apologize to Jack.

"Who's out there?" Lily called, trying to sound strong and stern, but her voice came out sounding little and scared.  "Come out here where I can see you!"  

If she had been expecting Jack's lithe form to slink sheepishly into the clearing, she was very surprised when a fair-haired, well-muscled guard stormed loudly out of the trees, halting right in front of her, glaring.

"C—Connor!" she gasped, her slender hand to her throat.  "What—Why—"

His eyes didn't soften this time as he crossed his arms belligerently.  "Princess Lily, seeing as how if I go back to the castle I'll be executed, as how I slept on a bunch of roots last night, and as how I swore to protect you with my life, I think you damned well better have some good explanations for me.  Right now."


	6. six

Looking at Connor's angry face, Lily couldn't say that she really wanted to tell him everything – or anything, for that matter.  He was already angry enough; what on earth would he think when he found out that she had seduced him and ruined his life for a dress and a shawl? She didn't know much about his temper, but if he had any temper at all, he wouldn't be content to let her off with a mere tongue-lashing.  She nervously eyed his tall form, his muscles.  He was clearly stronger than Jack, and he already knew how to fight.

"Well, I...um..." Staring at the ground, Lily was ashamed to feel tears of fright in her eyes.  "I'm...I'm _sorry," she choked out through a throat that had suddenly closed up.  "I didn't mean to get you into trouble, I really didn't.  I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me?"_

"Forgive you?" He sounded incredulous and more than a little angry.  "How can I do that? I bear half of the blame, but you knew exactly what you were doing, Princess, and more likely than not, you knew the consequences as well.  Didn't you?"  The last question came out loud, clipped, and furious.

"I thought... I mean, that... I didn't think that you were so angry at me..."  She swallowed hard, feeling worse and worse every second.

"I wasn't."  A smile that wasn't a smile at all touched his lips.  "But I had a long and very uncomfortable night to think about it, didn't I?"  He put a hand under her chin and gently but firmly forced her to look up at him.  Seeing the tears that had spilled over onto her cheeks, his voice quieted a bit.  "After all, why should the man bear all the blame? You approached me, Princess, and now I can never go back to my job.  What am I supposed to do? I was raised to be a guard and to be loyal to your father.  I cannot be a guard for your father anymore, nor would I feel right guarding another king.  As far as I'm concerned, my life is over."

"I'm _sorry," Lily cried in earnest.  "I was _wrong_."_

"Were you? I didn't follow you because I was angry; I followed you because I swore to protect you and I was worried.  I heard pieces of your conversation with that... that boy, if that's what he was, and I think you'd better tell me everything."

"You followed me because you were _worried?"  She wrenched her chin away from him.  "The fact that you were facing execution had nothing to do with it, of course, did it?"  Lily regretted the words the instant they passed her lips, but it was too late._

"_Mock me, will you?" A strong hand closed tightly around her neck.  Her heart lurched in fright as she tried in vain to tug the hand away.  Was he really going to kill her? She really didn't know what he was capable of, and some men would kill for much less.  "Look, _Princess_," he snarled, his angry face inches from her frightened one, "I followed you because I swore an oath.  It's not an oath I'm very happy to keep sacred right now, but whatever else I may be, I have honor."_

There were lights flashing in front of her eyes as she struggled to draw a breath.  She was still trying to pull his implacable hand away from her neck, but her fingers were weakening.  

"Enough honor," Lily managed to croak, "that you're trying to strangle me?"

As the meaning of her words sunk in, he snatched his hand away from her neck as though it were burned, horrified.  Sinking to her knees, she coughed and wheezed, trying to catch her breath, her eyes watering.  As she slowly recovered, he walked to the other end of the meadow and leaned against a tree, still looking angry, but looking unhappier with every second.

There was a moment of silence, both Lily and Connor feeling guilty.  Above them, birds chirped gaily and a light breeze danced through the leaves.  It was such a beautiful day that it was hard to believe what Gump had told her about the parts of the forest that were slowly dying.  

Despite the fact that Connor had almost just killed her, Lily felt like she should say something that would assuage his guilt somewhat.  Had she not done what she'd done, he wouldn't have almost strangled her, after all.

Finally she cleared her throat and said, in a voice that was only slightly hoarser than usual, "Honor's a funny thing, isn't it? For all you know, you just may have been doing the kindest thing by attempting to strangle me before I get any further."  Though she couldn't see his face, she had the feeling that it still looked every bit as anguished.  Feeling almost giddy, she added, "Between a peaceful death and becoming a sexual slave to a demon, well—"

The words died on her tongue as his head snapped up and she saw the look in his eyes.  There was surprise and confusion, yes, but there was also something more.  Anger and despair, and... Was that guilt? She stared back, wondering what he saw in her own teary eyes.  Their eyes remained locked for the count of seven...eight...

She tore her eyes away as he asked in a strange voice, "A demon? S—sexual slave?"

"You wouldn't believe me, Connor." She sighed, and closed her eyes, already weary.  "You don't need to come with me.  I release you from your oath.  Go, find a nice girl, and settle down in some cottage."

"I _can't do that," he said, strangely bitter.  _

"Of course you can!" she exclaimed.  "Didn't you hear me say that I release you?"

"I heard."  He looked at her, his eyes burning.  "But that doesn't release me.  Tell me your story and let's be on our way."

Lily chose to ignore his strangeness.  If he really wanted to come with her, for whatever reason, she couldn't physically restrain him.  "This... this forest is a strange place," she said weakly, gesturing around them.  "Things can happen here that you wouldn't believe, even if you saw them."

Seeing the misery on her face, Connor said quietly, "After seeing that thing you were talking to, I promise I'll believe you.  I have good eyesight, and there's no chance that he was human."

Finally, she weakened.  "All _right_, Connor.  I'll tell you.  Can we please get going?" For she'd already accepted that he was going with her, violent bullhead that he was.  Upset as she was, part of her was comforted at the thought of not making this journey alone.

"When are you going to tell me? That sexual slave part _did_ sound rather interesting..."

"I _beg your pardon?!" she screeched, her face turning bright red.  Then she saw the teasing look in his eyes and relaxed slightly, though the blush remained.  "I'll tell you as we walk.  She glanced up briefly at the sun.  "We have a long way to go, and not as much time as we'd like."_

He ran a hand through his tousled sandy hair at her cryptic words, but eventually just shrugged, walked back across the small meadow and helped her to her feet.  Lily tried to ignore his surprised glance as she deftly buckled her sword belt around her waist.

After offering him a bit of food from her pack, which he eagerly accepted, they started walking toward the distant mountains with the ice on their peaks.

Lily ran through her thoughts, trying to organize them.  "So... to make a long story short, I touched a unicorn, and Jack dove into a pool looking for—"

"Whoa!" Connor exclaimed.  "Slow down there.  No making a long story short, Princess.  I want to hear the whole thing, with details and explanations."  Her protest died unspoken when he looked at her with a devilish grin on his face.  "My life's been boring, after all.  I love tales of a good adventure.  There's that, and we've got a long way to go, as you said, so you might as well stretch it out as much as possible.  So, for starters—who's Jack?"

_I guess that I couldn't put off telling him forever._  Lily sighed.  Then she told him, and she told him everything.  It wasn't too horrible; it certainly kept her thoughts off of her aching legs and feet.  While telling him, though, she kept a careful eye on him, somehow feeling as though knowing his reactions to everything was a very important thing.  So she noted it all.  She noticed how a muscle in his face twitched whenever she mentioned Jack.  She noticed how his face became curiously blank when she told him about the unicorns.  She noticed the disdain when she told him about the goblins.  And she noted the fear in his eyes whenever Darkness was mentioned.

"...with a final swing of the sword," she unconsciously demonstrated, her ring twinkling on her hand, "Jack cast Darkness into the abyss.  He screamed... and then he was gone.  Only a shooting star or two was left.  Jack then broke the spell on me by finding and returning my ring... and that was it.  I returned to the castle."  She looked at Connor's face in profile as they wove through trees.  He stared straight ahead.

"So, this Jack," he said, his voice casual, "is he your... lover?"

Of all things that he could have chosen to ask about, she had thought that Jack was not the most likely.  Lily would have thought that she had blushed enough in the last few days enough for a lifetime, but apparently there was still a blush or two left in her.  "I don't think you have the right to ask me that!"  He shrugged.  Feeling insulted, she said sharply, "If you've had as much experience as it seemed like you had, you ought to be able to fathom the answer to that question for yourself."

Connor coughed.  "So no, then.  Not a lover.  Then... what is he?"

"You don't need to know that," Lily said.  "It's none of your business what Jack and I are to each other."

"If I'm going to be protecting you against anything and everything, it damn well is my business what the relationships in your life are!"

A trickle of sweat rolled down Lily's forehead.  She swiped at it angrily, seeing Connor's taut face.  "Very well, then.  Jack is my best friend."  Looking unaccountably relieved, Connor started to speak, but Lily cut him off.  "He is also the man I love, and the man who saved me many times, body and soul.  He was my innocent childhood friend, but he is so much more than that now, and I could never dream of sharing myself with another, knowing that he is there for me."

Connor's face now had a dangerous look on it.  "Is that so?" he asked very quietly.  "Then what was _I?"  Lily blinked, flummoxed.  For a moment, thinking about Jack, she had managed to forget the chaos her life had become, and the things she had done._

"You were..." she trailed off, remembering.  After a moment of silence, broken only by their breathing and the sound of their feet moving forward, Lily knew that there was only one thing she could say.  "You were amazing."

He looked startled and not a little flattered.  "That wasn't what I meant, and you know it."

Lily stared at her feet, unconsciously flexing her sword hand.  If she had thought that he was angry _before_... "It... it occurs to me that my story is only half told," she said feebly.  "Maybe if I tell you more, you'll see how you fit into this."

So again the forest echoed with the sound of Lily's lilting voice, made slightly husky by the earlier near-strangling.  This time, though, she didn't dare to look at Connor.  She kept her eyes firmly planted on the trail ahead of her.  Sometimes she could almost swear that she would step forward, and the scenery would change around her.  She just accepted it though, and whispered a silent _thank you_ to Gump as she spoke.

*********************************************************

Meanwhile, Gump was searching the forest behind them, every now and again shifting them forward on their path a bit.  He'd been looking for an hour, and he still hadn't found what he was looking for.

"Broomsticks and cobblestones!" he muttered, irritated.  Gump prided himself on an innate sense of where this and that lay within his forest.  In fact, almost never had he been eluded before.  However, half of his energy today lay in helping the princess and her companion; he simply didn't have the energy to focus on finding Jack.  Finally, he lost patience, and snapped, "Oona!" The small shining light that was Oona darted in front of his face, whistling.  "Find him, and be quick about it!"

Though he could swear that he heard a tiny sarcastic laugh, Oona followed his orders without complaint and zoomed off into the distance.  Gump sat on a rock and waited, again shifting Lily and her friend forward about a hundred feet.  It wasn't much, but it was he could manage.  He sighed, knowing that Lily would definitely not be pleased with him for this, but did he not know the evil that was Darkness better than she? Did he not know what she was going up against?  Besides, he thought, a grim smile touching his round face, he had never actually promised.

Finally, Oona returned.  Flying up to Gump's ear, she whispered in a tinkling voice, "He's sitting on the cliff above the Ring Pond, and he doesn't look very well.  Why, he didn't even hear me flying above him!"

Gump nodded.  It was exactly as he had expected.  "Don't sound so surprised, Oona.  You know what's been going on every bit as well as I do."

"Well, yes, but," the pout in her voice was almost tangible; "he didn't hear _me_!"

He rolled his eyes skyward.  Much as he disliked it, found it ridiculous, and had told her so many times, Oona insisted on nursing a crush on Jack that at times nearly bordered on obsession.  Jack knew it, and usually humored the fairy, as often as Gump told him not to, that it was more cruel than kind.  The young human would just laugh and say that it made her happy, so how could it be cruel? Gump shook his head.  Jack didn't understand cruelty any more than he understood evil.  He knew they existed, but they never entered the man's happy little idyll.  _I would say, Gump thought, _that your innocence would get you into trouble one day, except for the fact that it already has.  So why haven't you learned?__

"Never mind that," he told the fairy sharply.  "I need to talk to him."

With Gump's knowledge of the forest, it only took them a matter of minutes to find Jack sitting glumly on the cliff, exactly as Oona had said.  His feet were dangling off the edge, and he stared sadly down into the pond.

"Jack?" Gump asked, not wanting to startle the man, who was, after all, in a precarious position, but knowing that there was no time to waste.

Jack didn't even flinch.  "I dove into that pond to get her ring, Gump.  She told me that she would marry whoever gave it back to her, and I gave it back to her."

"I know, Jack."  Gump sighed.  He wasn't one for male bonding and sympathy, but he knew that Jack wouldn't listen to him unless he let Jack angst for a minute or two.

"I picked up a sword for her.  I went into The Great Tree for her.  I killed for her.  I almost _died_ for her."

"...or because of her, my friend."

Jack waved Gump's interruption away with a flutter of his hand.  His wild face was dark with pain.  "You've never known love, Gump, so how could you understand?"

"You might be surprised how much love I've known," Gump replied.

"She's _betrothed! To some __prince!"_

Gump shrugged.  "She _is_ a princess, Jack."

"She left me.  She stopped coming to see me, and now she's betrothed and happy! An old peasant lady told me so! So she's either forgotten me, or she hates me! She must hate me, Gump, but how could she, when I loved her from the first second I saw her? We were just children, meeting in a forest, but I loved her." Jack let out a choked cry.  "Oh god, I'm miserable.  How could she do this to me? She promised me, Gump! She said, 'Don't you wish this was our wedding ring?' and 'I will marry whoever finds this ring,' and _I found it_, Gump, I--"  

Gump remained calm as Jack ranted.  Very calmly, he pulled his fiddle from its cradle on his back.  Very calmly, he drew it back.  Very calmly, he gave Jack a good _whack_ on the back of the head with it.  And very calmly, he sat still as Jack's yelping and wildly flailing body hit the water far below with a large splash.

He could feel the surprise and fear of the fish in the pond within some distant corner of his body, but he knew that none of them were hurt, and so paid no attention.  Instead, he just waited for Jack to surface, silently apologizing to his fiddle.

And surface he did, spluttering violently.  "_Gump!" he yelled.  "What was __that? I could've been __killed! That __hurt!"_

"I'm sure it did," Gump called back pleasantly.  "And _that was because you are a fool, Jack.  A well-meaning fool, but a fool nonetheless! 'An old peasant lady,' you say?"  He cackled.  "You claim to die with love for her, but how can you expect me to believe you when you don't even recognize her when she appears right in front of your eyes?"  Jack's wet face below went pale as he realized the meaning of Gump's words, but Gump mercilessly drove it home anyway.  "That _was_ Lily, you idiot, and you couldn't even see beyond her disguise."_

"Lily..." Jack whispered, trying to remember the old peasant woman.  He sniffled.  "S—so? That doesn't make her any less betrothed, does it?"

"Betrothed she may indeed be, but she's not happy it about it."

"But," Jack said weakly, still attempting to tread water, "she said that—"

"—that she was happy?" Gump snorted.  "Can you not _think of a reason that she might have said that?"_

"Oh," Jack whispered after a moment.  "...Because she was angry with me for not recognizing her..."

"Exactly, Jack.  Now that you've come to your senses, get out of the water, and come up here.  Lily's in great danger."  As Jack quickly scrambled out of the water, a full-sized Oona assisting him and glaring up at Gump, Gump felt a sharp pain just below his breastbone, a pain that drained just a little more of his strength.  He clutched his chest with a hand that suddenly seemed too small and weak to hold any power over anything.  "As are we all, I fear," he whispered.

*********************************************************

"Wait! Wait just a minute here!" Connor halted dead in his tracks, staring at Lily with an angry look she was coming to recognize all too well.

"N—no," she said.  "We really, er, should keep going, Connor.  We have no time to stop unless we see a stream."

Lily kept walking, but Connor reached out a strong arm and grabbed her, jerking her back towards him.  

"Are you saying," he said irately, "that you slept with me in order to obtain a _dress and shawl?"_

Since it was far too late to maintain her dignity, Lily said, pulling her shoulder out of his grasp, "And because I really did want to, Connor, really."

"I can't believe this.  You...you used me!" he snapped at her.

"You had no problem when you simply thought that I had an attraction to you.  That wasn't a lie! There was this other part, but that wasn't the whole of it," she said pleadingly.

"You ruined my life for _those?" He stared pointedly at her clothes._

Lily fought the urge to cross her hands over her breasts.  "I couldn't very well travel in a dress covered in lace, could I?"  His glare became fiercer.  "A—and," she added desperately, "you used me too, did you not? You used me for c—carnal relations, for a firm and willing body," she stammered out, amazed at her temerity.  "I'll bet you bragged to all of your friends afterwards how you _knew_ the princess of the castle.  You used me every bit as much as I used you."

"_Used you?!" Connor roared.  "Princess Lily, you don't know anything, do you?"  He grabbed her upper arms so tightly that she winced and knew that she would have bruises.  Backing her up against the nearest tree, he spoke, his voice angry and rough, "You think that what I did was _using_ you? If you knew how badly I _want_ to __use you, you would __never make that mistake again."_

"S—sir g—guard," Lily stammered out, sincerely frightened, "I order y—you to un—unhand me _immediately_!"  She struggled, but he was like a rock: utterly immovable.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" But he did no such thing.  Instead, a dark look on his face, pinning her body to the tree behind her, Connor leaned in and kissed her.  

It was like no kiss she had ever known from Jack, and certainly not like Connor's gentle kisses back at the castle.  It was strange and threatening and hungry and desperate, and it barely even deserved to be called a kiss.  It was more like he was ravishing her mouth, dragging her naked into the light, stripping away all of her secrets until only her soul was left, and even that was battered.

And, as much as it horrified her, it was terribly arousing.  Her knees grew weak and she clenched her hands to keep them from linking around his neck.

Lily managed to tear her mouth away.  "_Connor," she sobbed for breath, "__please stop this."_

"Or what?" he whispered, also short of breath.  "You'll have me dragged into the dungeon, _Princess_? And pretend you didn't like it?"  A slight sneer touched his handsome face, though underneath it, she could tell, though she didn't know how, that he was very shaken.  "_Used_ you, did I?"

He started to lower his mouth to hers again, and goodness only knows what would have happened had there not been a sudden loud rustling from the other side of the gentle hill in front of them.

Connor's head snapped to the side, all thoughts of kissing and using suddenly forgotten.  "Quickly, Lily!" he whispered, forgetting to call her _Princess_ in his haste.  "Hide in those bushes!"

He half-dragged, half-carried her over to said bushes, and set about manipulating pieces of the bush to shield their forms from whatever was coming.  For her part, Lily lay limply beneath the bushes, barely feeling their tickle against her face.  She'd wanted to run to the bushes, but she was too shocked about what had just happened.  Connor had kissed her against her will, pressing his body against hers, and he had almost hurt her, and she had _liked it.  _Damn you, Darkness! That feeling must be your doing! Isn't it? _If she had felt capable of movement, she would have thrown her hands over her face.  As it was, she barely managed to close her eyes as she felt him crawling beneath the bushes to lie curled up beside her, though they soon opened again.  If her death was coming, she did not wish to meet it with closed eyes._

Lily's deep, shuddering breaths sounded impossibly loud to her, but it still startled her when he laid a suddenly gentle hand over her mouth and whispered urgently, "_Ssshhh!"  His dark brown eyes keenly searched the area around them through the shelter of the bushes._

"What..." she managed to whisper, even through his warm hand, "...what is out there?"

He looked down at her seriously, all enmity – if that's what it was called – forgotten in the pressure of the moment.  "Whatever it is, it's not good.  Princess, whatever it is, pray that it does not find us."

Struck by the bleak note in his voice, Lily closed her eyes and prayed.


	7. seven

Hardly daring to breath, Lily lay as still as possible, listening to the rustling grow louder and louder.  Connor's hand still lay over her mouth, but her breathing seemed to grow louder in her ears.  She fought to slow down her breathing, and the effort brought tears to her eyes, but only increased the pressure in her chest and the need to gasp loudly for air.

Beside her, Connor was totally soundless.  Her eyes flicked towards him in silent resentment.  How could he have gone through the same thing as she, yet be so utterly calm? A look at his eyes, however, dispelled that notion.  His eyes were wide and frightened, though they still cautioned her to remain silent.

Suddenly, Lily was struck with the oddest urge to ask him how old he was.  But that thought was quickly forced from her head as a figure strode into view, bushes rustling around it.

This was the largest moving figure she had ever seen, completely swathed in cloths and hoods and cloaks.  It took large strides; though she could not see its feet, she was amazed at the amount of ground it covered.

The creature, whatever it was, was walking right towards them.  As it got closer and closer, Lily could have sworn that she heard it breathing.  In her terror, all anger at Connor forgotten for now, she looked at him as a frightened tear rolled down her cheek.  His young face was grim and his hand slowly inched towards his sword, but he still tried to smile supportively at her.

And the creature moved closer and _closer and __closer! and—_

"Lord!" came a cry from up the hill.  The creature paused, only a matter of feet from Lily and Connor's hiding place.  "Lord! Wait!" came the voice again.  It wasn't a pleasant voice by any means: it put in mind rust and skinned knees and gargling screams, but it scared Lily to no end, for she'd heard it before, and she remembered exactly _where._

The cloaked figure turned around, regal impatience evident in its every move as another figure tumbled down the hill after it.

This creature was smaller, much smaller, probably only three-fourths as tall as Lily.  It was a thoroughly disagreeable creature: beady eyes, a long nose reminiscent of a rotting pickle, hair like viscous seaweed, and rough skin like nothing so much as a dead fish.

It was Blix, the goblin.  Lily felt the bile rise in her throat.  If that was Blix, than the other must be—

"Lord!" Blix caught up with the taller creature, panting.  "You must not get so far ahead of me.  You have not your full strength."

Finally, the large one spoke.  Its voice wasn't a roar, but it rumbled all around them, vibrating deep within Lily.  "Silence.  You truly think that I need _you_ to defend _me?"_

"Not defend, no," said the goblin hastily, "but you have been through quite an ordeal, Master.  I would be remiss if I were to allow anything to happen to you."

"What would happen to me?" The voice fairly dripped with smug confidence.  "What _could_ happen?"

Within their prison of leaves, Connor looked at Lily in silent question.  Her heart thudding, she nodded.  It was Darkness.  _How can this be? she asked herself frantically.  __He's supposed to be recuperating far away! He's not supposed to have much strength at all._

"Master," said Blix, wheedling, "I know you to be strong, yes, but must you walk abroad in full sunlight?"

"Sunlight."  Darkness was silent for a moment.  "I do not like having weaknesses, Goblin.  Sunlight nearly brought about my complete ruin.  And now! To have to walk about shrouded, for fear of an inch of light touching my skin!" He made a grumbling noise of disgust and disapproval deep in his throat.

"Exactly!" Blix said.  "Lord, will you not return to the cave where it is safe?"

"I will not be weak!" Darkness roared.  Connor and Lily both instinctively winced as the thunderous sound washed over them.  Blix was out-and-out cowering, its clawed hands futilely attempting to cover its long, pointed ears.  "Just because you survived the raping of my fortress does not mean that you can tell me what to do, _Goblin.  Am I not still the Lord of Darkness?"_

"Of course you are, Lord," the goblin replied placatingly.  "But why not wait to stride around until this forest is yours?"

"I do not like to wait.  Pieces of this forest are now mine, but it takes me far too long to accomplish anything."  Darkness growled.  "If I cannot yet banish the light forever, let me adapt to it, let me work within it.  I will grow stronger and stronger, and soon nothing will stop me from ridding myself of it."

"Adapt to the light?" Blix was as thunderstruck as the two listeners in the bushes.

"There are ways, Goblin.  There are ways."  Under his confining hood, Lily somehow knew that Darkness' eyes were scanning the area around him.  She sensed a pointed nose with large nostrils flaring as they sniffed deeply.  "She is near, Blix," he said, his voice entirely different – still smug, but with an entirely different undertone, something that made Lily's spine feel like water.  "Very near..."  He turned slowly in a circle, looking around.

_Well, Lily, you went looking for him.  Here is your chance.  He will find you anyway, but if you stand up now, he may not find Connor._  Her breath came in small, frightened pants.  _Isn't that what you told Gump? That a king must put himself in danger before his own soldiers? She tried, but she couldn't seem to make herself move.  __If you go with Darkness – isn't that what you've been wanting all along, you harlot? Why not? Really, why not?_

Finally, she gathered enough courage to begin pulling herself to her feet, though they did not seem like they would be able to support her.  Clearly thinking that she must have gone insane, Connor pulled at her arms, but she pulled away.  Just as her trembling head was about to breach the top of their leafy cover, Connor dove at her legs and managed to knock her flat on her back.  Though she struggled weakly, he stretched himself out on top of her and easily held her down and kept her still.

In the midst of their panic, neither of them caught the sly look Darkness directed towards their bush.  By the time Connor chanced another look, the hooded figure was again facing the other direction.

Without another word, Darkness walked away, trailed by a very confused goblin.

Neither Lily nor Connor could really believe that Darkness was just walking away.  How could he not have heard their struggle? And even if he had not, why would he just quit looking like that? It made no sense.  But in their current state of mind, neither even felt they could speak, let alone speak coherently.

So for long moments, they lay still, shaken and weak, Connor still holding Lily flat against the ground.  Finally, the atmosphere seemed to change – the day seemed to grow sunnier, the trees healthier, the birds louder – and they knew that they were alone and safe, this time.

"What," Connor said angrily, "did you _think_ you were _doing?"_

Feeling so relieved that it made her feel horribly guilty, Lily said in a breathless voice, "Trying to help you."  At his questioning look, she said, "It's _me_ he wants.  Maybe if he gets me, he'll leave the rest of you alone."

"So nice, so sweet, always trying to be the martyr," he replied sarcastically.  His deep voice changed to a falsetto.  "I will save my friends and the world, and I will go it alone! I will lose my virginity to a mere guard, and if need be," here he simpered and let out a fake gasp, "I will become carnal slave to a creature of pure evil and lust!"  Connor's eyes rolled back in his head, and he pretended a ladylike faint, collapsing daintily on top of Lily.

Annoyed by his mocking imitation, she pushed at him, but it was like trying to move a tree – impossible without an axe.  "Stop that!" she snapped.  "I'm only trying to set things _right, and I'll be __damned if I let you stop me!"  She paused, at first ashamed of her vulgar language.  _

Connor clearly felt the same way, lifting his head from where it was pillowed on her chest.   "_Tsk_, tsk_, Lily," he said.  "Such foul language for such a pure girl!"_

That was it.  She set cold eyes on him.  "There are several things you'd do well to remember," she said frostily.  "First, considering how close we just came to—to—well, I don't know _what, I hardly think this is the time for levity.  Secondly, nobody asked you to come with me.  Thirdly, I am not a girl anymore, as you damned well know, and I'll speak __however I like.  And lastly, __Sir, whatever else you may think of me, I am still a princess, and you are still a guard, and you have no right to speak so rudely to me or manhandle me in this fashion!"_

He had to whistle in amazement.  Dirty and in an extremely undignified position she might be, but when she set her mind to it, she could certainly look regal.  Despite the fact that their physical position almost made it impossible, she still managed to look down her nose at him.  She really was something, all right.

Lily's imperial face softened slightly.  "You were so kind back at the castle.  I know you're angry with me, but where did that sweetness go? Or was it false to begin with?"

Connor felt a pain deep in his chest that she would think so, but given his recent actions, he allowed himself to think that maybe she was justified in thinking so.  "I am not a... bad person, Princess Lily," he said, remembering proprieties, "and I swear that I acted honestly back at the castle, but I am not perfect, and given enough provocation, any man would—"

"Would push me up against a tree and almost ravish me?" she said, the steel back in her eyes.  "No amount of _provocation gives you that right."_

"You're right," he admitted.  "I apologize."

"Do you swear it won't happen again?" She raised an elegant brown eyebrow. 

"I—I swear that I shall do my best to prevent it from happening, Lady."  He looked ashamed, quite rightfully so, she thought irately, that he had not promised that it would not happen again.  "There is much you don't know about me, Princess," he whispered, almost urgently.

"I see.  And are you planning on telling me anytime soon?"

"I... I cannot."  His eyes with their sandy lashes drooped closed as if in pain.  "Not now, Princess, maybe not ever."

"Then," she suggested, "may I propose that you _get off me right now_?"

For a long moment, he didn't move, and fear of what might happen leapt into Lily's throat.  Then he sighed, and rolled himself away from her.

She pushed herself to her feet, trying very hard to not let Conner see how hard her legs were shaking.  Leaning up against a tree, trying to appear casual, she brushed leaves from her skirt with hands that barely felt as though she was controlling them.

Conner was standing a few feet away, his back turned, as though allowing her a measure of time to compose herself, but Lily had the distinct feeling that his turned back was more for his benefit.

When finally he spoke, his voice was quiet.  "So that was the Lord of Darkness."

She nodded, then realized that he couldn't see her.  "Yes," she replied, her voice quiet, yet sounding unnaturally loud in her ears.  "That was the Lord of Darkness and his servant Blix."

"He is a hideous beast."

"Yes," Lily sighed, brushing stray locks of hair from her face, "Blix is indeed a nasty little blighter.  The first time I heard his voice, he was gloating about what he had done to our world."

Conner's head turned around to look at her quizzically.  "I was speaking of the Lord of Darkness, Princess."

Lily blinked, and busied herself within the pack, hoping that her actions would hide the blush that must be on her burning face.  "Ah.  Well, the Lord of Darkness is quite loathsome as well."

She gasped in surprise as an arm reached around her and grabbed the pack, pulling it away from her.  Turning in surprise, she found him right behind her, an unreadable expression on the young guardsman's face.

"Loathsome?" he repeated.  "Loathsome."

"Yes," Lily said, feeling as though she had missed something important.  "Truly a detestable monster.  Now, why don't we get on our way before he decides to come back for another look? Thank you for carrying the pack."

She squared her shoulders and resumed their journey, pretending not to hear Conner's whisper of "Loathsome is not the same thing as hideous."

*****************************************************

Jack ran through the forest as fast as he could, ducking overhanging branches and jumping over fallen logs.  His heart was pounding so hard that it felt as though it very well might break through his aching chest, but he did not allow his pace to slacken.

_Lily,_ he thought, _oh, Lily, why didn't you tell me it was you?_

For the hundredth time, he heard Gump's words in his head:

_"The Lord of Darkness is not dead, Jack."_

_"What do you mean, 'he's not dead?'" Jack interrupted incredulously.  "Of course he is.  I killed him; don't you remember, Gump?_

_"You defeated him, but he is not dead.  He was saved somehow, and he is gathering power again.  Darkness has given up on the unicorns, but Jack, now he wants Lily.  All of his designs are bent on taking her in any way he can."_

_"Is she trying to escape from him? Is that it?" Jack jumped to his feet, trying to ignore the growing pit of fear in his stomach.  "Then I will follow.  I will follow her anywhere, Gump."_

_"Be quiet!" Gump snapped.  "I don't particularly want to hit you with my fiddle again, but I promise I'll knock you straight into the pond if you don't _keep quiet_ and listen!" Jack nodded, though he ached to run after Lily and never let her go once he had caught her.  "Lily is going to face him beyond the __Shivering__Forest__."_

_"What?!" the words were ripped from Jack's mouth.  "She can't do that!"_

_Gump eyed him oddly.  "Why not, Jack? You did."_

_"Because she... because I..." Jack gestured wildly, searching for the words.  "Because I was the champion," he finally finished, the words sounding lame even to his ears._

_"The hero?__ The male?" Gump said insultingly.  "Do you mean to tell me that Lily can't be a hero herself?"_

_"I have to be there to protect her, Gump," Jack said passionately.  "She needs me!"_

_Gump smirked.  "Tell that to the young guardsman who travels with her."_

_"What?" Jack breathed.  "She travels with... a man?"_

_"Isn't that what you wanted? There is a man protecting the princess," Gump asked.  "Or do you just not want her traveling with a man who isn't you?"_

_His hands clenching involuntarily into fists, Jack yelled out his frustration.  "Dammit, Gump, _why_ are you talking like this?!?_

_"Because I want you to help her—"_

_"But that's what _I_ want!"_

_"—but," continued Gump as though Jack hadn't spoken, "if you go into it thinking as you are now, you will doom yourself and her.  Do you understand me? Your thinking fosters distrust, and such negative emotions will feed the Dark Lord."_

_Jack took a deep breath, feeling chastened.  "Then," he said weakly, "how must I think?"_

_"Lily is doing an admirable thing, putting others ahead of herself and her own welfare, and I will not have you jeopardize her mission by making her doubt herself with your smothering.  If you are to help her, it is to be as a guard.  Nothing more."_

_"Nothing more?"__ Jack repeated slowly.  _

_"You are to feel no jealousy that there is another man with her.  You are not to force her to stand behind you when there is danger ahead.  She will need your support, Jack, but that is all.  She must fight the important fights alone."_

_"I cannot love her?" It felt as though Jack's heart were being ripped out._

_"Love her, Jack.  Love her with everything you've got, but love her _silently._"_

_Wheeling around in a blind passion, Jack slammed his fist into a tree as hard as he could, skinning his knuckles.  Several leaves showered down around them as the tree shook from the force of Jack's blow.  He vaguely noticed Gump looking at him in disapproval._

_"Before I go," Jack said, outwardly calm, "you must tell me.  Who is this other man? I will feel no jealousy," he added quickly before Gump could caution him.  "But I must know."_

_Gump let out a disapproving breath.  "He is a young guardsman from her father's castle, sworn to protect her.  And he will protect her with the last blow of his sword, but he is more than he seems, Jack.  I do not know more.  You can trust him, but do not forget to be wary of him."_

_"I... understand," said Jack, though he really hadn't.  He had expected Gump to tell him whether this other man was young, whether he was handsome; this was what he wanted to know, but he couldn't ask that at the risk of already sounding jealous._

_"Tread lightly," Gump warned.  "I fear the Dark Lord's renewed influence is negatively affecting our hearts and minds.  Jack, you were chosen as a champion because you were pure of spirit.  Do not let that purity fade.  Go.  Go now, Jack, before it is too late."_

_With a final nod to Gump, Jack turned and dashed away, his mind bent entirely on retrieving his loved one._

_Once he was gone, Oona transformed to full size in a flash of light and looked angrily at Gump.  "How could you be so cruel to him?"_

_"Not cruel, you silly fairy," Gump replied, his eyes still on the spot where Jack had been.  "If I had wanted to be cruel, I could have told him more of the young guardsman; of how he knows the princess, and how her heart is even now lightly treading towards him.  Nay, not cruel.  I told Jack all he needed to know."  His dark eyes turned to the fairy.  "Otherwise we are ruined, all of us."_

The only sound in Jack's ears was the pounding of his raging emotions.  "Lily!" he whispered.  "Wait for me!"

"Jack!"

At the sound of his name being called, he skidded to a stop, whirling around, heart beating in the sudden hope that he'd found Lily already.  His sweat-dampened hair obscuring his vision, it took him a moment to see the slender figure standing in between two trees.

"...Oona?"

"Jack," the fairy whispered, so quietly that it barely competed with the mild breeze, yet the word floated to his ears as gently as a caress.  "You have been badly treated, my dear one, you have been deceived.  I have come to help you."

********************************************************

He took a deep breath that was more of a tasting of the air.  He could taste their scents, and knew.  Slowly, little by little, they were coming towards him.  They were all coming.  They would all come.

He would have his bride.  Such a woman she was becoming! He had been fascinated by the innocent child who had floated through his castle in the tatters of her finery, but he was far more pleased by the woman she was becoming.  Soon her eyes would become dark with knowing, and her lips would have a sensual curve to them.  Her hands would reach out for him, and he would take her and give her the pleasure that only he could.  She would be his bride.  

And his bride would deliver his son.  He wanted a son.  A young demon born of the Lord of Darkness and a luscious human.  With the spirit of his father, but with the diluted blood that could allow the young demon to walk abroad in daylight and carry out his father's work.

Yes.  He would have it all.

And he would have his vengeance.  

            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone, I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter out.  I had about half of it done, but the last couple of months have been ghastly: a nasty break-up, deaths in the family, and killer classes all contributed to bringing my writing inspiration to _zero_.  However, I do dare to hope that I can get back in the writing spirit and get the next chapter out quite a bit sooner than three or four months from now.  Thanks for waiting!

~signpost


	8. eight

_"Once in a valley, I heard a youth sing_

_of__ life and of love and enchantment;_

_Once in a valley, a youth stole my heart_

_And taught me to—"_

"Do you _have_ to sing?"

Lily's mouth snapped closed as she looked at Connor.  "I was trying to—to make the trip seem shorter."

"You honestly think that singing of love and enchantment helps my mood, Princess?"

"Jack always said that—"

"Let me guess.  That your voice was like a bell and your words perfumed the air.  That when you sang, he felt like he could swim the deepest sea and climb the highest peak."

Lily glared at Connor's back.  He was disturbingly close to being right, but she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.  "As a matter of fact," she said emphatically, "he merely said that it helped him to focus on something other than putting one foot in front of another."

Connor sighed and raked his hair away from his eyes.  "Fine, fine, my apologies.  But please, don't sing."

"Do you not like my singing? Or do you object to the song itself? I could sing another."

He paused and leaned against a tree.  "It has nothing to do with that.  It's just that...that...well, look at us!"

She was confused.  Looking down at herself, Lily felt that she looked quite well, considering the messiness of their journey.  And Connor... He looked more than well.  She was forced to admit to herself that he looked like someone in his prime.  

And he was taller than Jack.

Shocked by her line of thinking, Lily coughed and said, "I think we look fine, Connor.  But if you wish me not to sing..." She shrugged and kept walking, determined not to let him make her lose her temper.

"It's not that," his voice muttered from behind her.

Against her will, the sadness in his voice forced a note of sympathy from her.  She slowed her pace, but kept her eyes fixed on the mountains.  "I won't know if you don't tell me."

"Am I nothing like him?"

"Like who?" she said in a strangled voice.  

He was silent for so long that she nearly decided that he wasn't going to answer, but he finally sighed and replied, "Jack.  Your love."

"This is hardly the time or place to discuss my personal matters!" she replied heatedly.

"It seems as good a time as any," he sighed aloud.  "You've run off from your castle, from your upcoming marriage, you're wandering in the woods with a delinquent guardsman who took your virginity, and your end destination is a demon who wants nothing more than to ravish you until the world itself ends.  If this isn't the perfect time to discuss your personal life, I don't know what is."

"...I don't like you very much," she eventually snapped, wishing that she could have come up with something more appropriate and wittier to respond with.

"Believe me, Princess, I know.  So it seems I have nothing to lose by asking you to tell me, do I?"

"Let's keep walking."

"Will you tell me if I do?"

"You are an utter nuisance," she growled, making up her mind that if he didn't stop pestering her right then, she would just leave him there and bedamned with the consequences. 

Luckily for him, though, at that moment he popped up by her sleeve with a boyish smile on his face.  "Now you sound just like my mother."

Though she didn't want to, his smile was so contagious that she couldn't help but grin back as her anger began to melt.  "I'll take that as a compliment, since your mother must have been a saint to put up with you, you dolt."

Executing a courtly bow, he grabbed her hand and kissed it with a roguish tilt of his eyelids.  "Sir Dolt, at your command, my lady.  Shall we continue our journey?"

Feeling decidedly foolish, Lily offered her arm, and he took it as they kept walking.

"Will you tell me now?"

"I'll tell you once you've kept your mouth closed for a good ten minutes straight."

_There_, she thought with satisfaction.  _I should be safe for at least a few more hours_.

*******************************************************

"What do you mean?" Jack whispered in horror.  "How can this be?"

Oona fluttered her eyelashes sadly.  "I am sorry to be the one who had to tell you, my dear Jack, but I could not let you walk into such a trap."

"My Lily... and some guardsman?" He bowed his head.  "It cannot be... It cannot be, Oona! Lily would not...would not..."

"Would not what, Jack? She got herself engaged, didn't she? She met you in the woods and she didn't even tell you who she was! Why can you not believe that she would do what she very obviously _did_?" The fairy pouted prettily up at Jack.  "Don't worry.  If you don't want to go on this ridiculous mission, I won't think the less of you for it."

Jack's mouth quivered just a little.  "But I have to go.  She _needs_ me, Oona."

Oona wrapped her arms around his neck.  "She has the other one to protect her.  Jack, my love, if she did not want you to come with her, it is for the best, yes?"

He blinked, as his voice slid down to a drowsy whisper.  "What...about Gump?"

"Gump needn't know either, Jack," Oona whispered back seductively.  "No one need know.  I can show you a place to hide until this mess is over..."

Her face slowly began to draw nearer to his, her lips to part in anticipation.

"But..." he struggled to make the words come.  "What... about...the demon?"

"He will not harm her."

Their lips brushed.

"No!" Jack jumped away, blinking wildly and breathing deeply, as though the breaths he took were his very first.  "No," he repeated, looking at the disappointed fairy.  "This is not the first time you have—You have tried to trick me into kissing you before, Oona."

She hissed angrily.  "You still think _she_ can love you better than _I_? Go, then, Jack.  Go to her.  Go to your little harlot."

"She is _not_ a—" Jack yelled, but he was cut off by her angry words.

"Go, Jack.  And see if you can find me to apologize when you find her with her skirts up around her _ears_!"

With one last angry whimper, she seemed to fold in on herself, to disappear until there was nothing left but a speck of light that danced frantically through the trees until he could see it no longer.

"It can't be," Jack whispered to himself.  "Lily loves me.  And I...I love her.  She would not betray me.  She would not give herself to another.  Ever."  He set his chin.  "I'm coming, Lily.  And I won't doubt you."

*********************************************************

Lily was nearly doubled over with laughter as Connor did his imitation of a haughty princess.

"—and blast it, James, these shoes are not nearly shiny enough! I demand that you make them shinier, and this time, use your tongue, you ignorant peasant!" he screeched in a high-pitched voice.  As Lily struggled for breath, he stopped squawking and grinned down at her.  "Are you all right there, Princess?"

She nodded breathlessly, but wasn't able to speak for another minute or two.  When she did, the words that emerged were, "That...wasn't..._funny_!"

"Of course it wasn't.  That explains why you were laughing so hard that had I not been holding your elbow, you would have fallen flat on your shapely posterior."

"Posterior? _Posterior_?" For a moment, the outraged look on her face was severely threatened by another fit of giggles, but she managed to control herself.  "Now tell me, where does a simple guardsman learn a word like 'posterior'?" She cocked her eyebrow coquettishly.

She was expecting him to laugh and launch into another imitation, so when the smile abruptly disappeared from his face, it was almost like the sun had disappeared from the sky.

"My mother was highborn," he said quietly.  "I received a good education."

Her mouth nearly dropped.  This was the most personal information he'd voluntarily offered thus far.  "Your mother—"

Her voice broke off with a sharp cry as her foot caught on a tree root.  She went crashing to the ground with a thud that knocked the air out of her lungs.

"Lily!" he exclaimed as he bent down by her side.  "Lily, are you all right?"

"I..." she wheezed.  "I...feel sick..."

Connor's face relaxed slightly.  He rubbed her back soothingly and said, "Don't worry, that'll go away in a minute."

"Are you...sure?"

The corners of his mouth quirked upwards.  "Haven't you ever fallen off a horse before?"

Lily inhaled a shuddering breath.  "Of course not.  I'm a...superb horsewoman."

"Can you walk?"

"I think so?"  As he helped her to her feet, she gingerly tested her weight.  "Yes, there doesn't seem to be any injury."

"Well, there's no point in taking any risks, right?" 

Lily was on the verge of asking what the ear-to-ear grin on his face was about when he swept her off the ground and into his arms.  Suddenly finding herself sheltered in his arms, she tried desperately to not blush.

"Put me down!" she exclaimed.  "I'm not broken, so put me down!"

"Nonsense," he scoffed, starting to walk in a rolling gait that was as soothing as it was comforting.  "You weigh next to nothing, and I know that you're tired.  It doesn't hurt me to carry you for a bit, and it doesn't hurt you to rest."

"And you're not tired?" she asked with an edge to her voice.

"Of course I am," he said, then glanced down at her with a look that was almost...tender.  "But I'm not the one who needs to have all of my wits about me in the days ahead, am I?"

"I...suppose so..." she confessed, feeling oddly shaken.  Feeling that she had lost this argument, she then fell silent and allowed him to carry her.

Connor kept walking for a while, seeming to cover ground at an astonishing distance as the sun began to wane in the sky.  Lulled by the warmth of his body, the sound of his calm breathing, and the quiet of the forest around them, Lily found herself cuddling against his body, her eyes beginning to drift closed.

Loath to destroy the comfortable silence, but increasingly feeling the need to, she blinked hard and said, "You're certainly walking fast."

He shrugged lightly.  Feeling the muscles rippling under his skin, she began to feel that breaking the silence had not been wise.  In the hush of the afternoon, a kind of intimacy had begun to wind itself around them; she almost felt like she could say anything and hear anything from him.

"Your legs are shorter than mine."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"That's why we move slower when we're both walking," he responded.  "I move faster when I'm the only one on the ground."

"Oh..." she replied, feeling foolish.  "I forgot that I mentioned it."

"Ah," he said.

She allowed her head to lay against his chest again, let her eyes drift closed, let awareness recede...

When her eyes opened again, the sun was barely a crescent on the horizon, and Connor was still carrying her.  Lily yawned.

"You're awake?" he asked quietly.

"Yes... Thank you for carrying me," she said sleepily.  "I can walk now."

"You're still worn out, Lily," Connor said.  "It's all right, I can carry you for a bit longer."

"I...But...Well—thank you..." She coughed.  Suddenly feeling the need to fill the silence, to kill the familiarity that seemed to be growing between them, she said abruptly, "Tell me about your mother?"

"My mother?" He was silent.

_There_, she thought.  _He'll get mad, and he'll put me down, and we'll be back to normal.  We'll hate each other again._

However, if there was one thing that Lily had forgotten, it was that this young man who was carrying her had a habit of surprising her and of doing the unexpected.  When he began to speak, his calm voice filling the hushed twilight, she couldn't have said whether her feelings of disappointment or relief were stronger.

"My mother... Well, she was a lady in Ethril's court.  Yes, the same Ethril where your betrothed comes from," he added with a hint of humor in his voice.  "She was a very eligible heiress, and numerous men sought her hand... or so I've been told.  One day, though, she was found to be with child.  Though she was questioned many times, she would never reveal the identity of the man with whom she had transgressed.  And so she had a son...me, of course.  For the first years of my life, I was coddled and taken care of, much like you were, Princess." Connor chuckled, but then his voice became bleak again.  "My mother was still quite an attractive women, and there were still men willing to take her as wife, despite the fact that she was no longer a virgin.  But none of them were willing to take me.  No man wants the evidence that another man has been with his woman running around his house."

"They sent you away?" Lily asked, horrified.

"Not _they_, Lily.  _She_.  My mother."  Connor sighed.  "I suppose I can't blame her... It was her last chance to have a real life.  So she sent me away.  Illegitimate as I am, being a guard in a foreign king's castle was as good a job as I could expect.  I suppose she married and had some legitimate children.  I don't blame her.  Really, I don't."

Despite his flippant words, there was a bitterness in his voice that made Lily's heart ache.  All she could think to say was, "Oh...Connor, I'm so sorry..."

"It's all right," he said, gruffly.  "It gave me a chance to explore, to see more of the world than I would have otherwise.  I wanted to...to try to find my father."

"Did your mother ever tell you anything about him?"

"Just that he was very charming and that he seduced her with wine and candles.  It didn't give me much to go on, did it?"

"No...did you find him?"

"_No_."

Ashamed by her prying, Lily reached up a cool hand to touch his cheek comfortingly.

His cheek was wet.

"_Connor_..." Aghast at the knowledge he was crying, she was overwhelmed with the urge to comfort him.  Feeling helpless to do much else, she caressed his cheek.  She felt his taut arms tighten even more around her, shaking slightly.

Suddenly, it was all too dangerous.  Her body, pressed against his chest, her hand on his cheek, his arms around her, and the hard-won closeness, it was all too much.  It was all too much, and she was too vulnerable.

Frantically, Lily started squirming and pushed at his chest with her hands.  "Put me down!"

At first, he didn't understand.  His arms continued to hold her tightly as he looked at her uncomprehendingly.

"Put me _down_!" she said, and it was the fear in her voice more than anything that made his arms loosen.  She slipped to the ground and reeled several feet away.

When she finally dared to turn around and look at him, he was standing stiffly, hands clenched into fists, facing away from her.

"I'm sorry..." she offered, but somehow, an apology seemed so inadequate.  

"You still don't trust me," he said in a monotone.  "Despite everything, despite what I've _told_ you, you still don't trust me."

"Connor—"

"Do you realize that I've never told anyone that much about myself before?"

"Connor, I—"

"I followed you to protect you, I've turned my life upside down to protect you, I'd die to protect you, and you still think that I just want to ravish you."

"Shut up and _listen!_"  When he complied, she sighed, feeling as though she was about to jump off a cliff.  "It's not that I think that you're going to ravish me... It's really not."

He remained sullenly silent.

Licking her suddenly dry lips, she hesitantly moved until she was standing right in front of him, but he refused to meet her gaze.

_What am I doing?_

"I promise it's not that I think that you're going to ravish me."

_This is insane..._

"It's just that..."

_What about Jack?_

Her hands moved to rest on either side of his face, smoothing away the tearstains.

_This isn't right..._

"...just that..." 

_Why can't I stop myself?_

Her face moved closer to his as his eyes began to widen.

_Damn, damn, damn..._

"...just that I'm afraid that you won't."__

"What?" he breathed.

"You heard me," Lily whispered hoarsely.

At the wonder-filled look in his eyes, she was lost.  She couldn't have stopped herself if she'd had a sword pressed to her throat.

Their lips met as she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him close.  Still, though, he didn't hold her back.

He pulled back and whispered to her in an oddly strangled voice, "Are you teasing me, Princess?"

"No."

"Do you want something out of this? Another dagger, perhaps?"

"No."

"What about Jack?"

That was the one question that she didn't want to hear from him.  "I can't pretend that I know what will happen in the morning, but right here...right _now_...I want _you_."  Saying that was the strangest kind of relief she'd ever felt.

His hands were shaking.  "No regrets?"

She looked him square in the face.  "No regrets."

This time, when they kissed, his arms went around her every bit as tightly as hers went around him.  They were not gentle with the each other; the past days of being alone together had stretched their nerves to the breaking point.  Their kiss was fueled by desperation and need.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, and Lily felt herself beginning to sink into a whirling black maelstrom, feeling the two of them beginning to fall to their knees, unable to hold each other up any longer.  

It didn't matter, none of it.  Jack, Darkness, Blix, her father, Gump, none of them mattered.  All that mattered was Connor.  Right here, right now.  

An instant before it would have been too late, before her senses were utterly lost to the passion that pulsed through her veins, she heard a gasp.

Feeling a sudden chill, she somehow managed to pull away from Connor, who stared at her with eyes that shone, even in the dark.  Gasping through lips that felt puffy and bruised, she managed to make out a face in the darkness, looking at her with a horrible grief and betrayal.

_No._

"What...what is it?" Connor wheezed.

_It can't be_.

"It's...it's..."

_Jack_.

"Jack, _wait_!" she shouted.  But it was too late.  His ravaged face had already melted back into the shadows.  She stumbled after him, ignoring Connor's unhappy cry, ignoring the tree branches that tore at her face and pulled at her skirt.

After a moment, she stumbled against a tree, too numb to cry.  Ahead of her somewhere was Jack.  Behind her somewhere was Connor.  And she'd lost them both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note: So.  Anyone else ever noticed that after a while, all descriptions of forests tend to start sounding the same? Yeah? Me too.

Anyhow...soooo, I said that I would update sooner than three or four months, but apparently I lied.  So I'd like to say that I'll update sooner than that again now, but I don't want to make a liar out of myself again.  We'll see....

Thanks to everyone who read, and thanks to everyone who reviewed!

~signpost


	9. nine

He sat alone in his chambers, awkward and nervous.  Today was to be one of the most important days of his life: the day when he would meet his bride-to-be.  He had seen her before, of course, but not for a long time.  

The last time he had seen the Princess Lily, in fact, had been when they were both no more than children.  Their fathers, the respective kings of their countries, had been meeting to discuss various matters of state and diplomacy.  Edgar, always shy, had just wanted to sit in the corner and read.  However, the small girl with the brown ringlets, determined chin and dazzling smile was clearly not used to being ignored and she had made that very well known to him.  She had strolled back and forth in front of him, she had tried to start conversations about her ponies, and she had batted those outrageously long eyelashes for all they were worth, but the bookish prince had just buried his nose deeper and deeper into his book.

Finally, in an act of extreme frustration, she had planted a quick kiss on his cheek.  That had gotten his attention, all right.  He blushed furiously and wouldn't say anything, but she had definitely gotten him to look up from his book.

Then she had started prattling about this and that; he hadn't really particularly cared about anything she said, but he was finding himself more and more entertained by this skinny girl.  

By the time she and her father left to return to their castle, two days later, Lily not only had him talking back to her, but had him totally smitten.

Even though it had been close to eight years since then, Prince Edgar hadn't ever forgotten her.  He'd always thought of her as a friend, and upon hearing reports of her growing beauty over the years, had decided that he could think of no one he would rather have by his side.

So when his father had drawn him aside and told him that as sole heir to the crown, it was time to arrange a marriage with a lovely and suitable young lady, Edgar had told his father with characteristic firmness that he would have no one but Princess Lily.  Though his father had hemmed and hawed and said that he could not be sure that the Princess would want to marry him, not having seen her in years, and that Princess Florie was not only quite wealthy and heir to some of the best lands available, but that she was also quite attracted to him, Edgar was unyielding.  He had informed his father that either he would wed Princess Lily or he would wed no one.

Faced with a son of far more strength of character than he possessed, King Warren had backed down and sent a message to King Clarence, who, wonder of wonders! had been amenable and sent back a message not only approving the betrothal, but informing them that he would send Princess Lily to wed Edgar within the week.

Ever since then, Edgar had been walking on air; he hadn't wanted to tell his father, but even had Lily not been in the picture, he would rather have drowned himself than wed the piggish, priggish Princess Florie, whose beady eyes followed him predatorily whenever he was in her sight.  The thought of waking up to that face every morning for the rest of his life sickened him no less than the thought of her selfishness, reputation for depravity, and sheer coarseness.  Now, however, he was to wed the girl of his dreams, and surely great happiness would follow.

Today was the day she was to arrive, and Edgar had nervously dressed himself in his nicest clothes.  He was wearing the black velvet doublet, shot through with silver threads, that everybody said set off his pale skin and dark hair beautifully.  His hair had been washed and cleansed until it shone, and was pulled back into a short braid.  However, despite his best efforts, his cheeks had been flushed nervously; he didn't want to greet Lily looking like a ruddy-cheeked youth, but nothing was helping him relax.

There was a knock at the door.  Edgar jumped to his feet and smoothed his tunic.

"Prince Edgar!" a voice floated through the door.  "A procession is approaching!"

He took a deep breath.  _Right.__  I need to look suave.  Calm.  Manly._  "I un--" Edgar's voice squeaked.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  "I understand.  Thank you for informing me."

With quick steps, he left his room and climbed to the nearest tower.  Emerging into the sunlight on the turret, he found that his father was there before him.

"Father," Edgar said, "can you see them?"

His father squinted.  "Yes, I see them, but..." his voice trailed off.

"But what?" Edgar asked.  

When his father seemed disinclined to respond, Edgar decided to look for himself.  Shading his eyes from the glare, he gazed at the procession emerging from the forest.  He frowned.  Granted, he hadn't seen many bridal processions before, but something seemed...off, somehow.

"Father?" he asked.  "Is there something strange about this procession?"

"I should say so."  His father pursed his lips.  "It's customary to send several soldiers to protect the princess, but this appears to be almost entirely composed of soldiers.  I see King Clarence at the head of the procession, but—"

"But Princess Lily is not with them," Edgar said slowly.

"Nor do I see any dowry wagons."  The King grunted.  "I don't like the look of this."

Edgar's mind was immediately filled with the direst of possibilities: perhaps something horrible had happened to Lily.  Or if something hadn't happened to her, why wasn't she in the procession? It definitely didn't seem that this procession was prepared for a royal wedding.  It was more like this procession was prepared for...

King Warren's mind had apparently also gone in the same direction.  He leaned over the turret and bellowed down to the guards, "Close the gate and raise the drawbridge! _Now_!"

Soon the creak of the heavy chains and metal bars echoed through the morning air.  Edgar stood stock still on the turret.  Something had gone wrong, horribly wrong, and he knew it would ruin his hopes for happiness.  

His father clapped a soothing arm on his shoulder.  "We'll get this figured out, son."

"What's to figure out?" Edgar asked bleakly.  "Either something has happened to Princess Lily...or her father is ready to go to war with us for some reason.  It seems fairly obvious to me."

The King looked at his son grimly.  "Yes, that is how it seems.  It's possible that there's another way to interpret this that we just haven't figured out yet, but not likely.  When an army shows up at your door, there are just not that many ways to construe it."

"I'm sorry, Father," Edgar replied.  "This is my fault."

"Of course it's not your fault.  King Clarence agreed to give us his daughter with his blessing.  If he has changed his mind, it is not through any fault of ours."  He looked at his son with an iron will.  "If they think that we will just crumble to pieces at a mere show of force, we will show them what true strength is."

Edgar only groaned.  At this point, he didn't even know what to hope for.  Should Princess Lily be injured or worse, it would avert disaster for their countries, but Edgar's life would be utterly destroyed.

"Come, Edgar.  I'm going to call an emergency council, and now that you're old enough, you should attend with me and see how we deal with such matters."

He had no choice.  "Yes, Father..."

Later that afternoon, Edgar collapsed onto his bed.  The council had been, at least in his opinion, ridiculous and boring.  Either the ancient, dodder-headed advisors were droning on about matters of rules of etiquette and diplomacy, or the hot-headed councilors were all shouting that they shouldn't wait for King Clarence to attack them, but that they, themselves, should attack preemptively.  Edgar would have spoken up, but his father had told him quite definitely before entering the meeting that he was not to speak; if he were to be observed disagreeing with his father, the cunning and untrustworthy would attempt to take advantage of that.  And his father had done absolutely nothing, which was the most frustrating of all.  He had sat there, stroking his beard and nodding contemplatively.  He had taken no sides and made no pronouncements.  When the meeting was finally over, Edgar had been left with the feeling that they were no better off than they had been when they entered the room.  In fact, he definitely felt _less_ intelligent than he had been before, and they had wasted at least two hours to achieve that less-than-desired result.

As for the procession that now seemed to be setting up a camp right on the other side of the castle gates, there had been no real communication.  There had been insults flung, but nothing of any substance.  King Clarence hadn't been seen since his lavish tent had been erected.  And of Princess Lily, there had been nothing.

Scowling, he rolled to his feet again.  He wanted to get out of the castle, to go for a ride, to escape the pitying eyes.  He could almost imagine the servants' whispers: "_Oh, the poor prince! I heard that the princess was so terrified at the thought of marrying him that she convinced her father to declare war!"_ or _"I'll bet she jumped off of the highest tower to avoid marrying our arrogant little princeling."_  Edgar began to pace, hands clasped behind his back.  He couldn't leave the castle, not with the forces encamped outside.  He couldn't leave this room unless he felt able to show a stoic face to the world.  He was trapped.

Suddenly, all of the fury drained from him.  He sank into his chair, feeling as though his legs might no longer support him.  What if Princess Lily really had been disgusted at the thought of marrying him? He hadn't wanted to seriously consider that possibility, but it was definitely there.  He heard in his mind's eye a female voice saying, _"Edgar? That idiotic boy? I would sooner drink poison than wed and bed that ugly fool!"_  Abject, Edgar hung his head.  Ever since he was ten years old, he had hinged all his hopes on having her at his side.  Whenever he had done something praiseworthy, he had always imagined her brown eyes dancing in delight at his cleverness.  Whenever he had needed comforting, he had summoned an image of her to his brain.  It had never really seriously entered his mind that she might, perhaps, not feel the same way about him.  Though he had been nervous when his father sent the proposal of betrothal to King Clarence, and couldn't bear the wait for the response, he'd always had the feeling deep down that it would all come right.

He'd never told anyone about his feelings for her.  He'd always been a handsome boy who had matured into a handsome young man.  Girls were supposed to moon and swoon over him, not the other way around! What would his squires think of him if they knew that he spent his free time dreamily composing poems that were never written down and creating paintings that only ever saw the gallery inside his head? They would have laughed at him and mocked him.  For heaven's sake, he had mocked himself, knowing how foolish he was being.  Still, he could never banish the feeling that in those two days he had known her, they had touched souls, and he could never be truly without her.

Edgar slumped over until his forehead was resting on the cool wood of the table.  _I'm pathetic._

Gradually, he emerged from his unhappy reverie to realize that someone was pounding on his door.

"Who's there?" he croaked, trying not to sound too startled.

"Prince Edgar, sir! King Warren sends word that you're to meet with him immediately!"

"Oh?" Edgar snorted.  "Well, you can tell him that I'd rather be alone."

"Highness, he said that it's urgent, and that I'm not to return without you."

Edgar heaved a sigh.  "_Fine_.  If it's really that much of a life-and-death situation, I suppose I have no choice."  _I never do, do I?_

Unlocking his door, he couldn't help but be grimly amused at the servant's reaction to his appearance.  Prince Edgar was known throughout the kingdom for being elegant and gentlemanly.  Edgar had the feeling that at this moment, he looked less than an exemplary example of either of those qualities.  In fact, if he looked as mean and miserable as he felt, he couldn't blame the servant for recoiling slightly before schooling his long face into a blank expression.

"This way, Highness."

Ignoring the servant, Edgar stormed down the stairs.  He knew where his father would be.  Whenever he had something important to tell to Edgar, he would always be in his solar; not only did it feel like a more neutral place than the King's chambers, but it was also a quiet and private place, ideally suited to contemplations and reflections.

"Highness!" the man hurried after him.  "Prince Edgar, where are you going?"

"The solar.  I assume that's where my father is.  You can leave me now; I _do_ know my way around the castle."

"The King is not in the solar, my Prince.  Please, if you will follow me..."

Not in the solar? This was extremely unusual, but then, Edgar had to admit to himself, nothing about this day had been extremely usual in and of itself.  Slightly intrigued despite himself, he nodded.  "Very well.  Take me where my father is."

Following the servant down a twisting path of corridors and grand halls, Edgar grudgingly admitted to himself that he had no idea where they were going.  There was absolutely nothing special in this part of the castle: spare rooms, storage rooms, and varied miscellany.  He couldn't imagine why his father would want to meet with him in any of these strange places or what he could possibly want to tell him.

"Highness?"

Edgar paused and looked behind him.  With a jolt of embarrassment, he realized that the servant had stopped walking several feet back, but he, lost in his thoughts, had kept blindly walking.  Not only had he not noticed that the servant had paused, but he had nearly walked right into a wall.

He blinked and cleared his throat before self-consciously smoothing his hair back and quickly moving back to where the servant was standing with a slightly amused expression on his face.

"Well?" Edgar snapped, trying to cover his inner turmoil.  "Why have you stopped here?"

"Please be patient for a moment, Prince Edgar." The servant peered closely at the stone wall.  Edgar waited, more confused than he wanted to admit.  Finally, with a small sound of discovery, the servant hooked his finger into a crevice between two stones and pulled.

Nothing happened.

"Are you trying to break my castle?" Edgar asked whimsically.

The servant merely grimaced wearily and pulled again.  This time, there was a loud click; as Edgar watched in slack-jawed amazement, the wall swung open to reveal a dark passage behind.

"A...secret passage?" Edgar breathed.  "I had no idea anything like this was here!"

"Your father is in a room down that passage, Highness.  Please go right ahead."

"Is it...safe?"

"Of course it's safe.  You're my prince.  Should you find yourself in any danger while under my care, my life would be forfeit.  Please."  The man gestured that Edgar should step into the passage, which, holding his breath, he did.

Edgar turned to face the servant, still standing outside of the passage.  "It's astounding!" he exclaimed, his voice echoing down the damp corridor.  "Why didn't my father ever show me this before?"

"It's not my place to know something like that." The man bowed to Edgar and said again, "Your father is that way."

"Of course."  Edgar turned to face the darkness and released a long, slightly shaky breath.  "Could I have a torch?" he asked, swinging around to face the entrance again.

It was too late, though.  The door was already swinging closed.  Before Edgar had a chance to do anything other than yelp in alarm, he found himself in utter darkness.

He banged his fists on the wall that, seconds before, had been an entrance.  "Hello?" he called.  "Can you hear me? Let me out!" 

There was no response.  He licked his lips, trying to calm his mounting panic.  The servant might be some sort of traitor...or perhaps he simply couldn't hear Edgar through the thick stone of the wall, which would definitely muffle his calls and banging.

_What's happening? Am I trapped? Am I about to die, cut down by an assassin I can't even see?_

As had become his custom over the years, he imagined Lily whispering in his ear.  "Courage, Edgar.  You are a prince.  Whatever happens now, you must meet it as a prince and a man."

Edgar nodded to himself.  With a quick, whispered prayer, he turned around and started groping his way forward through the darkness with outstretched hands.

The next several moments were the most terrifying of his life thus far.  He had no idea if he was about to crash headlong into a wall, to fall to his death in a deep crevasse, or to meet his doom in some other grisly, wholly unimaginable way.  Though his instinct was to shuffle forward slowly, feeling the ground ahead of him with his toes, he forced himself to stride forward through the darkness with a feigned confidence.  _Whatever is to happen, you will meet it as a man._

Suddenly, he blinked and rubbed his eyes.  That couldn't be a light he saw ahead, could it? Though he convinced himself that it couldn't be, his breathing quickened even more and his right hand dropped to his sword belt before he realized that he had left his sword in his room.  He cursed under his breath.

However, there was really nothing to be done but to keep moving forward.  After another moment, he could no longer deny that it was a light.  It was not, as he had first hoped, daylight.  Rather, it was the flickering of firelight upon the rough walls of the passage.

Finally, he turned a corner, and to his utter surprise, found himself in a well-furnished room with a merrily crackling fire in the fireplace, plush chairs, bookcases overflowing with books and scrolls, and three men sitting in the chairs, talking quietly.

After a moment, one of them, his father, seemed to notice his presence.  "Well, Edgar, it certainly took you long enough to join us."

The relief pulsing through Edgar's veins at the fact that he was not about to die in some horrible, painful way was momentarily eclipsed by anger.  "Well, father," he responded frostily, "I would have been here sooner had I not been afraid for my life.  Was it really necessary to send me through that cave without a light?"

His father shrugged.  "I have more important things to worry about at the moment then whether my son stubs his toe or not.  Please, sit down."

Edgar sighed, irritated, but nonetheless, took a seat in the fourth chair and scooted it towards the table.  Looking at the other men for the first time, he realized that one of them was Lord Arfon, his father's most trusted councilor.  And the third man, who was currently covered in a layer of dirt, grime, and exhaustion, was none other than Lily's father, King Clarence.

"Father, what is going on here?"

His father waved an arm grandly to encompass the room.  "Welcome to the only room in this castle where real decisions are made, Edgar."

"The only room...?"

"Of course.  I wouldn't possibly be stupid enough to do anything important while surrounded by schemers and incompetents."

"But your solar..?"

"Easily spied upon.  Edgar, this room is a complete secret, and one of your best assets in this castle.  Keep its existence sacred."

Edgar nodded slowly, a new respect for his father slowly kindling itself inside him.  He'd always seen his father as a weak and fairly ineffective king who didn't have the strength to make grand proclamations.  But now, he admitted to himself that perhaps he had been mistaken.  Maybe his father did have the strength, but he was just wily enough to keep it hidden from the public.

"I understand, Father," Edgar said.  "Now, can you please tell me what on earth is happening? What is King Clarence doing here?"

"A little respect, if you please, boy," King Clarence responded.  "I've spent the last two hours crawling through dirty tunnels so that I could meet with your father privately, with no one the wiser as to my absence."

"But why?" Edgar asked.  "Why are you even here? Where's... where's Lily?"

"Clarence," his father said, "why don't you tell him what you've told me?"

King Clarence nodded.  "Of course, Warren.  Edgar, contrary to what you may think, we are not here to make war on you."

"Well, that's good to know," Edgar replied with a trace of sarcasm.  "You certainly fooled me."

"I understand your attitude," King Clarence said sternly, "but there is no call for it.  Hear me out.  Lily is gone."

"_Gone_?" Edgar said with a sickening lurch in his stomach.  "What do you mean, '_gone_'?"

The older man shrugged.  "Gone.  Disappeared.  Kidnapped, or ran away, or...something else that I cannot even envision."

"Gone..." Edgar breathed, unable to comprehend the finality of that word._  Gone.  She's gone.  _"Can we rescue her?" he asked.

King Clarence coughed painfully.  "That would require some sort of knowledge of where she's gone and why.  If she were abducted, I would expect some sort of contact to be made and a ransom to be demanded, but there has been nothing."

"So...she's run away?"

"I don't know, Edgar.  I've had my troops combing the forest for days, but they've found nothing of note yet."

"Why would she do something like that?" Edgar asked, terrified that his nightmare might be coming true.  _"I would sooner drink poison than wed and bed that ugly fool!"_  echoed in his head.

Clarence rubbed his eyes, and for the first time, Edgar noticed the lines of exhaustion and stress in his face.  "I don't know that either, Edgar.  She had been acting oddly... having nightmares and the such, but..." his voice trailed off.

For the first time, Lord Arfon spoke up.  "King Clarence, forgive my presumption, but I believe that there is something you are not telling us."

"Of course there isn't!"

"I understand your desire to protect your daughter at all costs," Lord Arfon continued smoothly, "but in order to be of any use in this situation, we need to know everything."

Clarence looked distinctly uncomfortable, but sighed and said, "Very well.  I distinctly got the impression that... no offense to you, Prince Edgar, but that she was not entirely happy about the prospect of the marriage."

"So she ran away in order to avoid marrying me," Edgar said flatly.  It was not a question.

"We don't know that, Edgar."

"Is there anything else, King Clarence?" sharp-eyed Lord Arfon asked.

"Nothing that has any bearing upon what we do here," Clarence said sharply, but even Edgar, lost in misery, noticed how his eye twitched and how his cheeks were lightly stained with color.

"Very well," Lord Arfon responded, apparently deciding to save the toughest battles for later.  "Then, King Clarence, if you will, enlighten me as to why you brought an army with you to inform us of this sad development, and why you couldn't meet with us openly?"

"Perhaps you haven't been paying attention to political developments lately, Lord Arfon," King Clarence replied harshly, "but you may have noticed that my country and the kingdom of Granlen are only a step and a hop away from war over this marriage."

"I noticed, indeed, Highness."

"Arfon," Edgar's father interjected, "please allow King Clarence to speak without interruption."

"Certainly, Lord.  My apologies, King Clarence," Lord Arfon said with a small bow towards the two kings.  He then sat back.

"At this juncture, it would not do for my country to be seen as weak in any way.  Were I to come riding up and inform you in broad daylight of the disappearance of my daughter, King Stefan would hear of it.  I give you my word on that.  He would take advantage of this sad situation in order to both force his daughter, the Princess Florie, on Prince Edgar, _and_ to attack my kingdom while my forces are divided and distracted in the search for my daughter."  With a sidelong glance at Edgar, Clarence added, "I was definitely under the conception that Prince Edgar would definitely not consider Princess Florie as an eligible match, but should Stefan learn that my daughter is nowhere to be found and Prince Edgar _still_ will not marry Florie, he may very well go to war against Ethril too, in order to avenge the insult done to his daughter.  However, as long as our two countries appear to be on the brink of war for some unknown reason, King Stefan will stay his hand, both out of curiosity and because he still would wish for his daughter to wed Prince Edgar."  With that King Clarence leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers over his stomach.

Edgar's head was spinning.  "That was ingenious.  You are _brilliant_, King Clarence."

"Nonsense," King Clarence said briefly.  "It's simple strategy, Edgar, though I thank you for the compliment.  In any case, we must decide what is best to be done.  Edgar, what are your feelings in this situation?"

"I... I love Lily," Edgar said quietly.  "I've dreamed of her since we were children, and I will wed no one else.  If she cannot be found—"

"Don't be ridiculous," King Warren snapped.  "We will do our best to find Princess Lily, of course, but if she cannot be found, you will still be wed.  You are the heir to this kingdom, and you must someday produce an heir of your own."

"I will not wed Florie," Edgar said stubbornly.

"So," Clarence said simply, "it seems that it would be best for the status quo to continue: we pretend to be ready to go to war with each other.  We will throw insults and make impossible demands, and every word will be reported to King Stefan by spies."

"Meanwhile," Warren continued, "you will continue to search for your daughter.  If she is found, she will come straight here and wed Edgar.  If she is not..." He trailed off.

"If she is not," Lord Arfon spoke up quietly, "then it would be best for the Princess Florie to meet with an unpleasant accident."

"_What_?" Edgar gasped.  "Are you _mad_? You're suggesting murdering Princess Florie!"

King Warren looked at his son grimly.  "It may come down to either that or marrying her.  Despite what I may have said outside this room, I have no desire to see that shrill, grasping harpy as either my daughter-in-law or the future queen of this country."

"But..." Edgar struggled to put together a coherent sentence, "killing is _wrong_! And she's... I don't _like_ her, but I don't want her to _die_."

"Prince Edgar," Lord Arfon said in as gentle a voice as Edgar had ever heard from him, "being king is not an easy job.  Oftentimes, kings are forced to make decisions that no man should ever have to make.  Choosing life and death should be left to the divine, but unfortunately, no god will help a man who does not help himself.  It is a hard lesson to learn, but one you should learn soon and learn well.  If Florie becomes queen of this kingdom, would she be an effective and loving queen?"

"No..." Edgar said slowly.  "From what I know of her, she will raid the royal treasury for clothing and jewelry."

"How would the people fare with such a queen?" Lord Arfon held up a hand to forestall Edgar's response.  "Edgar, do not underestimate the amount of power a queen can wield, right under the nose of even the best king.  So, how would the people fare?"

"Not well."

"In such a situation, there are two options: let your innocent subjects die needlessly... or remove the source of the problem."

Edgar's face clouded.  "I think I understand.... but I don't see why we're discussing this! We will find Lily, and I _will_ convince her to be my queen.  I cannot imagine my life otherwise."

"We will do our best, of course," King Warren said.

"Of course you will," Edgar said, "because I'm going after her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note: To anyone who might be a tad annoyed that they didn't get to read about Lily and her male troubles this chapter, my apologies! I do so love political scheming, however, and I also do love Edgar, despite his naiveté.

As always, thanks for reading! 


	10. ten

Jack tore through the woods at a pace he'd never before known he could run.  His head was pounding, his mouth was open in wheezing gasp, his heart hurt more than he had ever imagined possible.  The image itself was ingrained, scorched into his eyes: the sight of Lily in the arms of another man.  Not only in the arms of another man, no, but kissing him wholeheartedly, with a passion she had never shown to Jack.

Suddenly, he could run no further.  With a cry, he fell to his knees, bowed his head, and dug his fingers into the dirt beneath him as deep as they would go.  _How could she? How _could_ she? After what I—after everything..._  Slowly, his head fell forward until it rested on the cool earth.  _I don't want to live.  Not in this world.  Not where my Lily..._  Great, howling, wracking sobs suddenly tore through him.  _She was all I ever wanted.  Ever since the first time I saw her, she was all I wanted..._

_He hid behind a tree, knowing that letting these strange people passing by see him would be a bad idea.  It was something that Mother Fox had told him: "My strange little son," she'd said, "If you see others who look like you, hide.  They'll want to take you away from here to be one of them."_

_"But I don't want to!" he protested.  "I don't want them to take me away! The forest is my _home_."_

_Mother Fox licked his forehead.  "Then, my boy, hide if you see them.  I will always be here for you."_

_So he hid, even though the sound of their language fascinated him, as did the bright colors they wore.  The people traipsing through the forest today were especially prettily attired.  It didn't matter, though, he reminded himself sternly.  The forest was his home, Mother Fox was his mother, and all the creatures of the woods were his brothers and sisters.  These people, even if they looked like him, were nothing to him._

_With that in mind, he was content to hide in the shadow of the gnarled tree, crouched in stillness to avoid notice.  _

_The strangers were almost past him and he was about to race off home and tell Mother Fox what he had seen, but then he heard the strangest sound.  A silvery, joyful noise, it echoed in the air around him and effectively froze him in place with wonder.  The noise faded all too fast, but now determined to find out what had caused it and to hear it again, he brushed his hair out of his eyes and followed the happy people, always keeping just out of sight._

_Finally, the group halted in a clearing and spread out blankets to sit on.  Morsels that made his small stomach grumble were removed from pretty cases and set upon the blankets.  As he mentally ordered his stomach to be quiet, it growled again, to his embarrassment._

_He sat down facing away from the merry group, hoping that his stomach would get the point and be quiet before he was found out.  After a few minutes, it seemed to subside, and he cautiously turned around again..._

_...only to find himself staring into a pair of big brown eyes, the likes of which he'd never seen before.  Instinctively, he knew that this creature was the source of the joyous sound he'd heard before.  Her hair was the same shade as his, but, as he noticed when he dazedly reached out to touch it and she shied away, hers was shiny and clean.  His mouth fell open at the sheer beauty of her._

_She smiled and spoke, but he didn't understand the words; he didn't care about the words.  Hearing her voice was enough.  When she noticed how he was staring at her uncomprehendingly, she paused for a moment and bit her lip._

_Finally, with pantomime, she got the message across that she wouldn't alert the others to his presence.  He clutched her dainty hand between his rough ones gratefully, barely noticing how she gently withdrew her hand with a slight grimace of pain._

_He would have been happy to sit there with her, behind the fluttering leaves, until his hair fell out, but a member of her group, an older male, called out loudly, and her head swung around and she answered.  Figuring that the strange syllables he'd just heard from the man's mouth were her name, since they'd gotten her attention, he decided to try and say it himself.  
"Li...lee?" he said awkwardly through a mouth that felt as though it were lined in cotton.  _

_She beamed at him and bobbed her head up and down.  "Lily," she repeated, pointing at herself.  Then she pointed at him and raised her eyebrows questioningly._

_"Lily," he said happily._

_She laughed and shook her head.  "Lily," she said again, patting her chest.  Then, with only the slightest hesitation, she reached out and touched his chest and looked at him._

_He shrugged._

_Lily's lips pursed in a pout and she spoke again, this time musingly, almost to herself.  After a moment of contemplation, her eyes lit up and she pointed at him and said, "Jack."_

_"J—Jack?"_

_She nodded.  Her mouth opened and the silvery sound again poured forth.  Though he wouldn't learn the word for it until much later, it was laughter.  "Jack," she repeated once more, and pulled a flower from her long hair._

_Lily held out the flower, and he took it, hesitantly.  With a last smile at him, she rose to her feet and ran back to the clearing to join the others.  He sat alone, in a daze, holding the flower she had given him as though it were the most precious thing he had ever seen in his life.  He knew that she'd given him a name, something he'd never had before, but that didn't matter to him.  The only word that mattered to him was her name._

_When the revelers packed up and left the forest, that was the one truth he remembered, and the one truth he took home to a worried Mother Fox: that this strange girl who made the beautiful noise was the one thing in his world that really mattered._

Another sob tore through him.  For the last ten years, Lily had been his life.  She had been the voice in his ears and the smile in his eyes.  Now that was all over.  She didn't want him anymore.  For her sake, he'd become a hero.  He'd saved the unicorns, her life, and the world itself, and she'd just smiled and moved along to another man, to one who lived in her world.

A soft sigh rippled in his ears.  "I did try to tell you, Jack..."

He didn't look up.  "Go _away_, Oona.  I—I—I want to be al—alone."

Oona's hand reached down to rest softly on his tousled head.  "What are you going to do, my dearest?"

"Nothing," Jack said thickly.  "Lie here and die."

"No!" the fairy exclaimed.  "Don't give up hope! You could...come with me.  We could be happy somewhere far away, you and me."

"She is my _life_, Oona.  I can't be happy without her."

Though he did not see it, he could feel the fairy shudder.  "You humans.  You believe that there is only one for you, and if you lose them, you want to shrivel away and die."

Jack sniffled.  "I love her."

"You will drive yourself mad."

"Probably."

A slender hand reached down and drew his chin up from the ground to look at her.  Her blue eyes looked down at him tenderly.  "If you had seen me first, Jack, you would love me."

"No," he said dully.  "I am fated to love her."

"You are like a loyal wolfhound," the fairy said.  "The first face that offers you kindness, the first hand that gives you warmth, you will follow her till the day you die, no matter how many times she kicks you to the ground."

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Jack asked with rare insight.  "I don't love you, Oona.  I love _her_.  But you won't give up."

"She's moved on, Jack," Oona replied, ignoring his implications.  "You were her childhood sweetheart, and now she wants to be a woman.  Leave her and learn to be a man."

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but before the words emerged, a sudden cold wind blew through the forest, chilling them both to the bone.  As they looked at each other in sudden alarm, a roaring noise built up in their ears, making their teeth chatter and their eyes water.  Though neither could identify the noise immediately, they both realized what it was when they recognized the voice making it.

It was a scream, filled with more pain than either of them had ever heard.  It stripped their souls bare, swung from their hair, filled their stomachs, left them on the ground gasping, eyes streaming tears, blinded and deafened.

When the scream subsided, they were both so disoriented, and their ears so filled with the echoes that it took them a few minutes to realize what was different.

The forest was quiet.  Utterly quiet.  No birds sang, no breeze rustled the leaves.

As Jack and Oona finally blinked the tears from their eyes and looked up, their faces were an equal study in horror.  

All around them was death.

The trees were dead, stripped bare of leaves.  The bushes were mere skeletons.  The very living earth under their feet seemed to have turned to dust.

"What happened...?" Jack breathed, feeling as though his insides had been torn out.  "What's—"

Oona's eyes were more frightened than Jack had ever seen them.  When she finally spoke, it was a single word laden with dread.  "Gump."

"Gump?" Jack asked, hoping he'd heard wrong.  "What—what about Gump?"

"Something's happened to him," she replied, the panic in her voice growing.  "Something—I don't know what—I need to go to him!" 

"What should I...?"

"I don't know," she said shrilly, already distracted.  "I'll come back if I can.  Jack—Gump's in trouble.  I have to go!"

His nod was barely perceptible, but it was enough.  Faster than he'd seen before, she transformed, and raced off through the now-still land.

*******************************************************

Lily lay limp on the ground, feeling too weak to move.  She didn't know what had happened; one moment, she'd been leaning against a tree, crying and trying to figure out what she should do, where she should go, who she should go to...and the next moment, the world had seemed to explode around her.

She'd been sent flying to the ground with a sharp cry as the inhuman sound vibrated through her body, ripping more tears from her burning eyes.

It was now quiet again, but she'd peeked through tear-spiked lashes when she could see once more, and viewing the desolation that now ravaged the forest around her, she closed her eyes again, hoping against hope that she was dreaming, that this whole day had been just one bad dream.

"_It's not a dream_," a deep voice whispered in her ears.  "_It's all real, My Lady._"

Her voice was little more than a tired croak.  "So it's you.  I thought that you'd been rather quiet lately."

Darkness's laugh echoed in her ears.  "_Ah, lady, you are a delight._"

"Whatever you've done, undo it."

"_So stern, Lady?__ And so accusing, when in fact, I did not destroy the forest around you."_

"Who else would have?"

"_Now, now.__  You are quite clever enough to figure it out on your own._"

"If you undo this, I'll... I'll give myself to you," she whispered.

The demon rumbled, sounding enormously self-satisfied.  "_You are despairing, Lady, and rightly so.  However, I do not see why I should do anything for you when I will take you anyway, will you or no."_

"Wouldn't you rather have a willing lady?" Lily asked, feeling as though her heart was dying inside her.  "One who...who won't fight you?"

"_If you did not fight me, Princess, I would not want you.  I need no boring milksops who come when I call.  You have hot blood in your veins," _he hissed, sending shivers down her spine, despite herself. 

"Just take me, damn you, and be _done_!" she cried despairingly.  "Stop playing with me as though I were a morsel of food!"

She could almost hear him leering.  _"Whatever you have done, you have done of your own free will.  You slept with that guard, escaped from the castle, hid from your devoted _boy_, and then betrayed him in front of his face.  I did none of that.  All it does is make me more determined to have you, you minx."_

Though Lily didn't want to admit it, he was right.  She wanted to scream that she hadn't meant to hurt anyone, that she had had the best intentions, but she had still done these things.

Painfully, she dragged herself to her feet, wanting to delay looking around her, but knowing that she could delay it no longer.  _I have to continue.  I still have to try, at least.  I need to go on...and I need to do it alone.  I let myself get lazy because I had Connor, but I can do this.  _She stared at the mountains that were now no more than an hour's walk around.  _I have to do this.  For Jack, and for Connor.  And for..._ Lily shivered, standing alone in the dead forest.  _...for...Gump._

*************************************************

A/N: I know that this is a short chapter, so please forgive me for that.  School's been keeping me really busy, and I don't even know where I found the energy to write this much today... Hopefully back soon!

~signpost


	11. eleven

Oona flew over what had once been a lush and verdant forest, scanning the ground frantically.  When, at last, she spotted what she had been looking for, motionless and sprawled on the ground, her heart plummeted.  Diving at the ground, she transformed to her human form in midair and hit the ground running.

She dropped to her knees at Gump's side and tried as hard as she could to hold back the waves of sickness that were threatening to overwhelm her.  He was still alive, but barely.  It looked like he had been stabbed with a sword tens of times.  There was blood everywhere, and though Oona tried desperately to staunch the flow, she could do nothing.

Feeling the pressure of her hands on his chest, Gump's eyes fluttered open and he coughed painfully, more blood bubbling from his lips.  "Oona..."

"Quiet," Oona said, trying to smile reassuringly at him.  "Don't try to talk.  I need to find something to stop the bleeding."

"You...can't."

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" she snapped.  "Now stay still and be quiet!"

"Too...late, Oona.  Too late."

She heard the finality in his raspy voice, but didn't want to believe it.  "Gump, it's not too late! As long as there is still one living being, one blade of grass left in this forest, it's not too late.  You always told me that."

His mouth widened in a mockery of a grin.  "I...lied."

Oona stared down at him.  "No.  No, you silly spirit.  Even if a mighty oak is sawed through, it can still live."

"Can it still live if... if it has been eaten away...from the inside?"

"What?" she whispered, her eyes widening in horror.  "What are you saying?"

"These wounds... were not made by a... weapon."  He coughed again.  "I have been...dying for days.  I thought to...to...delay it, but I could not...delay it forever."

Her tears fell upon him.  "How can this be?" she breathed, trembling.  

Gump stared up at the grey sky.  "If Lily had...stopped Darkness in time... If only..."

Oona grabbed his cold hand and tried to massage some warmth back into it.  "Gump, you fool," she sobbed.  "What shall I do without you?"

His fingers twitched.  "You'll be...fine, Oona.  You've made up...your mind to chase...him till his dying day.  You're...far too stubborn to give up now."

"This is all my fault," Oona wept, feeling the full force of guilt for the first time in her long life.  "I tried to sabotage... I thought if I could..."

Gump's eyes closed and opened again slowly.  "No, Oona.  You are... a foolish fairy, yes, but...even if you hadn't...tried to separate Jack from her... she could not have reached Darkness by now anyway... Not your fault.  And..." he tried to sit up, but could not manage it, "...you came back...at the end."

"Oh, _Gump_," she cried, pulling his weight onto her lap as gently as possible, ignoring the blood, "could you have doubted it?"

"Not...for an instant.  Oona...tell her."

"Tell her _what_? That you were foolish enough not to have doubted me?"

"That...that she should be wary...of her guard.  She shouldn't trust him.  Shouldn't trust...anyone."

Oona nodded.  "Is there anything else?"

A small smile crossed Gump's pallid face.  "My fiddle...Give it to Jack.  Tell him... a little music is a powerful thing."  As Oona nodded, his cold hand gripped hers tightly.  "One more thing..."

"_Anything_," she clutched his hand right back.  "Anything, Gump."

"You were a...good friend.  Even if you stray...I have faith in you to make...the right choices.  Ask the dwarves to...sing my death song...and go find a place where...you can be happy.  I wish...I wish I could have seen the sun...once more..."

As Oona clung tightly to his fingers, watching in utter despair, he breathed once, twice, and no more.  His big brown eyes fixed sightlessly on the grey sky, eternally searching for the sun.

"Gump," Oona sobbed.  "Oh, Gump..."  

She reached out with shaking fingers to touch his face one last time, to gently close his glazed eyes, but even as she did, his weight began to disappear from her lap, his hand to slip between her fingers like water.  Though she hugged him to her as close as she could, there was no stopping it.

Within seconds, his body was gone.  Even the blood that had stained her had vanished.  It was as though Gump had never even existed. 

Oona knelt alone in the dust of the ground, tears sliding down her face.  He was gone.  Her true friend, her protector, the only one who always believed in her...even when he was angry at her.  Gone.  She had nothing.

She threw back her head and howled her protest to the uncaring sky.

*****************************************************

Connor stumbled against a tree, trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the last half hour.  First, he had been kissing Lily, then she was gone, and then...something had happened to the forest.

He looked around as he wandered aimlessly, hoping against hope to see something living, something still green, but only shades of browns, grays, and blacks met his eyes.

"This is awful," he whispered in horror.  "What's going on?"  He reached down to touch the earth, wishing that his hand would come back wet with rich soil, but when his fingers touched the ground, a cloud of dust rose up to hang around his face.  Coughing, he tried to wave the dust away from his streaming eyes.

It didn't make sense, but then, nothing made sense anymore.  Not since the day he'd seen the princess sashaying down the hall of her castle towards him.  Since them, the life he'd fought to build for himself had crumbled around him, and his past was threatening him more, day by day.

"Lily?" he called as loudly as he dared.  He could certainly have yelled more loudly, but it felt disrespectful...as though he were yelling in the middle of a church, or a tomb.  "Lily, can you hear me?"

"That's _Princess_ Lily to you," a voice said behind him.

Connor spun around, hoping to see her smiling face block out the desolation, but he was disappointed to see only a young man he'd never seen before.  "Who're _you_?" he asked roughly, sizing up the other quickly.  He was wild and feral-looking, dressed in rags and a brown ponytail of messy hair, but his big, brown, innocent eyes belied his fierce appearance.

"Jack," came the answer.  "I'd ask who _you_ are, but I saw you with her."

"You're Jack..." Connor muttered.  "...And you're the reason why she ran off, aren't you?"

"She ran off?"

Connor leaned against a tree, not wanting to admit that he was grateful to see another person, to assure himself that he wasn't the only living thing left here.  "You're not too quick, are you?"

Jack's brown eyes were assessing him right back.  "Sorry, I've had a horrible day," he said flatly.

Closing his eyes, and sighing tiredly, Connor waved his hand dismissively.  "Fine.  If you're going to challenge me, just do it and get it over with.  I'm not in the mood to mess around."

"I hate violence."

"Congratulations."

The two young men stood quietly for a moment, each trying to put his thoughts together, and neither managing.  For his part, Connor thought back to the last time he could remember feeling so empty.  That had been the day he found his father.

His mother had warned him not to go looking, that he wouldn't like what he found, but having just been told that he was being sent away because her new husband didn't want him around, an angry young Connor hadn't been willing to listen.

_If only I had listened.  I would still be who and what I am, but at least I would still have my romantic illusions._  

Instead, he was a broken man, lost and afraid.  Since that day, he had lived in fear, hiding his true feelings beneath a smile and courteous manner.  He could no longer look at the world with innocence.

And then he had met Lily, and his carefully constructed demeanor had begun to crumble.  She had taken him to the highest highs, and the lowest lows.  She had made him both lose control of himself and dare to hope, to believe, that he could actually be happy.

Now Connor eyed Jack with trepidation.  This diminutive man in front of him was the biggest threat to his winning of Lily's heart.

"So you live in the forest, right?" he asked.

"Yes, I... I did," Jack replied.

"Can you tell me what's happened here?" A chill breeze blew, making them both shiver.

"No."

Connor glared down at Jack.  "I'm not your enemy."

"No, but I might be yours," Jack said.  "And anyway, I don't know what's happened here.  I don't know what..." he trailed off, looking utterly lost.

Despite himself, Connor felt for him.  He knew what it felt like to lose everything in the space of one second.  "Look," he began, almost apologetically.

"I don't want to hear it," Jack snapped.  "There's no way that you can pretend that you and Lily weren't..."

"She still loves you," Connor said flatly, though it hurt like a sword to the stomach to admit it.  

"What?" Jack looked up with sudden hope.

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"But... if she still, she still," Jack stumbled over his words, "loves me...then...why?"

Connor clenched his jaw.  "Hell if I know."

For the first time, Jack really looked at Connor and seemed to notice that he was in pain too.  There was another long, awkward pause.  This time, Jack was the one to break it.

"I don't like you."

"I don't like you either."

"But right now..."

"Right now, we have to find Lily and make sure that she's all right."

"Yes."

Another long silence.

"So should we...?"

"Probably."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Let's go."

Still regarding each other suspiciously, they quietly moved off through the dark landscape, neither willing to admit to the other that he was glad of the company.

*******************************************************

At the edge of the forest, Edgar reigned in his horse and stared in shock.  "My god," he breathed.  "What's happened?"

"Prince Edgar," his squire, Gavin, said nervously, "I don't like the look of this."

"Nor I, Gavin."  Edgar stared into the barren land grimly.  "But I've sworn a vow to find my princess, and I won't break it."

"Are we..." Gavin cleared his throat nervously.  "Are we going to die?"

Edgar looked sideways at the younger boy, who was clutching his reins and trying to look like he wasn't nervous.  Despite the bleak situation, a small smile touched his lips.  "Gavin, I've sworn a vow, but you haven't.  I will not make you go with me."

Gavin stared at him.  "Prince Edgar—"

Edgar held up a quieting hand.  "Never let it be said of me that I forced my men to go where they did not wish to go.  What kind of prince would I be if I could only get men to follow me through force?"

Gavin was silent for a moment.  Edgar could almost see his mind working furiously under his blond hair.  After a moment, though, his face cleared and he looked up.

"No, Prince Edgar.  What kind of a squire would _I_ be if I deserted my lord at the first test of courage?" He smiled bravely, albeit nervously.  "I'd never be able to look anyone in the face ever again.  I'm going with you.  Of my own free will."

Edgar smiled back.  "Then let's get going.  The sooner we find Princess Lily, the sooner we can come home again as heroes."  

With a deep breath, he nudged his horse's side and they shot off into the dead forest, Gavin following close behind.

*************************************************

Darkness sat in the large chamber at the back of the cave, surrounded by what treasures Blix had managed to salvage from the wreck of the Great Tree, impatient.

"Lord!" the goblin excitedly rushed into the cavernous room.  "Lord, have you seen what has happened?"

"Have I seen _anything_, Blix?" Darkness rumbled.  "Inform me what it is that has you looking so pleased with yourself."

"The forest, Lord! It's dead!"

"Indeed?"

"Yes!" the goblin was practically dancing.  "I understand now how you will be able to walk abroad in daylight!"

"It took longer than I expected, then," the demon replied, with an edge to his voice.  "The spirit should not have lasted as long as he did."  He stared at the ceiling, tapping his claws thoughtfully on the arm of his large stone throne.

"Do you not understand, Lord Darkness? You've _won_! The forest is dead, and you can go where you wish, when you wish!"

Darkness snarled.  "You are a fool, goblin.  Yes, the forest is dead, and yes, I can walk in places of death at all hours, but that does not mean that I have won.  It should not have been possible for the forest to survive that long.  That puny spirit did not have the strength to resist for so long.  That means that a greater force was assisting him."

"It could not possibly be a greater force than _you_, Lordship."

"Be quiet, you toadying goblin," Darkness said irritably.  "I'm trying to think."

"Of course, Lord," the goblin bowed.  "But...there is someone here to see you."

"I am busy."

"Begging your pardon, Lord, but...I think you'll want to see this one."

"Oh, very well," Darkness grumbled, waving his arm in a permissive gesture.  "I suppose I have a moment or two for some trembling supplicant."

As Darkness sighed, exasperated, Blix rushed to the tunnel that led to the surface and whispered to someone at the entrance.  As that someone entered and their features became clear in the dusky room, Darkness sat up straight.  Blix had been right.  He was interested in this one.

"Come closer," he purred.  "I will not harm you.  Now...I have seen you before, have I not?"

"You have."

"Yes..." Darkness stroked his chin.  "I remember.  You must imagine my...surprise at seeing you here."

Cold eyes met his.  "You killed my friend."

"Indeed I did."

"I want to kill you."

Darkness leaned back and roared out his laughter, letting it echo in the caves all around them.  "Child, I could break you in half before you took another breath."

"Yes, I know."

"So presumably, you are here for some other purpose than to attempt to kill me."

"I want to make a deal with you."

"A deal?" Darkness sat up straight, fascinated despite himself.  "What _kind_ of deal?"

The fairy's ice blue eyes were steady.  "You want Lily.  I want Jack.  I will deliver her safely to you, in exchange for your help casting an enchantment on Jack, and your promise to take Lily far away and never return to this land."

Darkness smirked.  "Interesting.  There might be one slight problem, however.  Lily is heading this way without your help." 

"Yes, and she is alone in the mountains.  And did I mention that winter is approaching? She has no idea how to take care of herself, does she? And of course, there is always the possibility that she could suffer an unfortunate accident..."

The demon's face had been darkening as the fairy spoke.  "If you touched her, I would kill you."

"Do you think I particularly care whether I live or die anymore?" the fairy snapped.  "You took my friend, you took my home, and the only way to get the one thing that I still want is to deal with you."

"Very well," Darkness said slowly.  "It is a deal.  Do what you must do and bring her here safely.  Then we will deal with your Jack."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Well, _c'est__ la vie._  To everything there is a season, turn turn turn, and all that.  Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

~signpost


	12. twelve

As the blinding snow whirled around her, Lily staggered and fell.  Trying to ignore the icy wetness spreading up and down the length of her body, she blinked her eyes to clear away the snowflakes clinging to her eyelashes.  She hadn't been wrong: there _was_ a cave up ahead.  Renewed by the thought of shelter, and maybe even of building a fire, she crawled forward, breath by ragged breath rasping from her screaming lungs.  

It seemed to take a lifetime, the blizzard blowing stinging ice right into her face, but finally, she raised her head again to find herself at the entrance to the dark cave.  Too cold, wet, and tired to stand up, she kept crawling, whispering silent gratitude towards the refuge.  

When she was close to thirty feet away from the opening to the storm, she stopped and leaned against the dank rock wall, shivering with renewed violence now that she could focus on something other than the blowing snow and screaming wind.

Though her cape had done the best job it could, she hadn't planned on running into blizzards on her way, and the cold had chilled her to the bone.  Lily looked around desperately, her head and her eyes seeming to move at different speeds.  The disorienting feeling reminded her of the time her father had let her drink wine that hadn't been watered down.  She hadn't had anything to eat or drink in quite a while now, but the feeling was the same.  Her breath echoed in her ears three times as loud as it normally did.  _Fire... I need a fire..._  Peering into the darkest corners she could see from her present position, she searched in a sort of otherworldly state for something that she could use to start a fire.

She found nothing.  _Doesn't matter anyway_, she thought, growing sleepy, huddling close to the wall, _I have nothing to burn.  Maybe I can just...take a short nap.  When I wake up, the storm is sure to have subsided.  Yes.  A short nap is sure to hurt nothing.  I need sleep._

As Lily rested her cheek against the chill ground of the cave and tucked her wet clothes around her as best she could, she thought dizzily, _Maybe__ I should have waited for Connor... I wish I had someone to hold me and warm me up..._  But soon, even those thoughts were lost from her mind as her breathing slowed and her consciousness faded.

***************************************************

"Need some help?" Jack asked Connor from several feet ahead.

"I need no help from you," Connor snapped, brushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead with his dirty hand.  "I'm not used to climbing mountains, that's all."

The forest boy laughed derisively.  "Neither am I, but I'm not puffing as if I'd been running for my life."

"Cram it," was Connor's curt response.  He was now thoroughly regretting having agreed to go find Lily with Jack.  Jack wasn't a bad person, but he was naive and annoying, and he had been getting more and more on Connor's fragile nerves ever since they took their first step into the Frozen Mountains several hours ago.  With every second, Connor could feel Lily getting further and further away, and into greater and greater danger all by herself.

He glanced higher up the current mountain, where Jack was bounding with agility and showing no sign of being winded.  _How far ahead of us could she really be?_ Connor frowned, not really wanting to know the answer to that question.  Taking a deep breath and cursing the thin air, he thought half-seriously that he'd sell whatever remnants of a soul he had to find her.

"Jack!" he called up to the top of the peak, where his companion was standing silently now, gazing off into something.  "Jack, I've been thinking," Connor grunted, continuing to climb, "we don't even know if she's ahead of us or to the side, or even somewhere else, so—" He paused to take a deep breath, the altitude making his head swim a little bit.  "So," he resumed, now only feet below where Jack was standing still as a statue, "it might be the best thing if we split up, at least...for..." His voice trailed off as he reached the crest of the mountain and saw what Jack was staring at.

Looking down from his high vantage point, he couldn't see the ground.  It was masked by a lake of cool white mist.  Connor shivered, a cold wind whipping through his clothes.

"What is that?" he whispered, staring down at the swirling vapors.  

"It's a storm," Jack replied quietly.  "It's a horrible blizzard, from the looks of it, and it's caught in that valley down there.  It can't get over the top of this mountain, so it's going to keep hurling itself around down there until it fizzles out."

"Sounds pretty nasty," Connor remarked.  "Lucky we're up here, then, aren't we?"

"Yes," Jack said.  "I sure hope nobody's caught in—" He broke off, his eyes going wide with horror.  Swinging around to face Connor, he found himself looking a face equally as pale as his.  Apparently, the same thought had occurred to both of them.  Jack looked at the clouds again, then looked back at Connor.  A crazed expression spread across his face.  "_Lily!_" he screamed, and before Connor could speak a single word, Jack tore off down the side of the mountain, looking for a way into the valley.

"Oh no," Connor muttered before pushing his hair out of his eyes again and setting off after Jack as fast as he could.

Jack was fast, there was no doubt about that.  A lifetime of living in the forest had given him the lightning reflexes of the animals he had been raised by.  Several times, Connor thought that he had nearly caught up to him, but then Jack would put on an extra burst of speed, or Connor would stumble over a tree root.  Soon, Connor was gasping and clutching the stitch in his side, his legs burning from trying to keep his feet while on the way down the mountain.  

"Jack!" he rasped.  "_Stop_!"

Crazed with fear for his beloved, though, Jack either didn't hear or didn't care.  Finally, realizing that he could go no further, Connor decided on one last-ditch effort.  Jumping with every ounce of strength he had remaining, he hurled himself bodily at Jack, who was no more than a few feet ahead.

Fast Jack may have been, but when it came to sheer muscle mass and momentum, it was no contest.  Connor crashed against Jack's back with a grunt of pain, and both men went flying several feet.

For a moment, neither could move, too dazed even to breathe.  However, this time, Connor recovered first, and managed to make his limbs work well enough to crawl over to Jack and get a grip on his ankle to stop him from tearing off again.  

"Are you... an _idiot_?" he gasped, bleeding from a shallow cut on his face and scratched in several other places.

Jack, only now recovering, tried ineffectually to break Connor's grip on his ankle, but his hands were shaking too hard to accomplish much of anything.  "Let go!" he yelled, breathing almost as hard as Connor.  "Lily might—"

"She _might_!" Connor yelled back.  "It doesn't mean...that she _is_!"

"But I have to...have to..."

"You can't go...in that," Connor broke in, taking advantage of Jack's labored breathing.  "You'd...freeze."

"What about _her_?!" Jack shouted frantically, his hands pulling at Connor's implacable grip, tearing bloody furrows in his captor's scraped hands.

"She's better...prepared for bad weather...than either of _us_," Connor insisted, ignoring the pain.  "Listen, Jack, we don't...don't know that she's even...in there.  And if she is, then...there's nothing we can do...to help her."  He glanced grimly to his left, where the malevolent storm was whirling, still further down the mountain.  "If she is...then it's too late already."

Jack froze, Connor's words finally sinking in.  Slowly, his hands let go of Connor's bleeding wrist.  He fell back, as though all of his strength had disappeared in an instant, and lay still, breathing harshly and staring up at the sky.  Only then did Connor dare to release Jack and hold his injured hand close to him protectively.

"Jack," Connor said slowly, "This hurts me too.  I don't want to think of her all alone...somewhere...in that storm.  But...what else can we do? What good could we do her if we're dead too?"

"Nothing...I know that, but..." Jack inhaled roughly, "...but I can't sit here safe while..."  He rubbed an arm over his eyes.

"Let's make a fire," Connor sighed, "and we'll head in as soon as we can." Jack didn't move.  His face, still staring at the sky, was wracked with pain.  "So I guess _I_ should make a fire," he continued, "because you're utterly useless."

He stumbled to his feet, hissing in pain as his overworked legs struggled to take his weight.  Starting to trudge towards the nearest twigs, he was stopped by the sound of Jack's bleak voice.

"I'm not useless.  I'm a champion.  At least, I was.  But...I love her."  Connor stared at the sky, not wanting to hear it, but Jack's voice just kept going, like the ceaseless crashing of waves against a shore.  "I love her more than anything.  I don't care that she lied to me and left me, I don't care that she was kissing you... Well, not much.  I could forgive her anything, and I don't care if I die, not if it would help her."  A tear slipped from Jack's eye and slipped down to lose itself in the mess of his hair.  "I would die for her, and here you are, using her, hurting her, and stopping me from going to her.  You're a cold-hearted bastard.  I wish I believed in hurting others.  Then I could—" Jack choked and couldn't seem to go any further.

Connor stood still, his entire body feeling heavy.  "Yeah, that's right," he muttered.  "Cold-hearted bastard.  I certainly am that.  I never even had a chance to be anything else."  He spun around.  "But I'll tell you something!" he exclaimed, his voice rising.  "I'll tell you something, you childish little—" He broke off and took a deep breath.  "I'll tell you something.  I think that I might love her too, so if you even try to imply that I would put her in danger, if you even start to say it – Well, I don't have a single problem with hurting you."  He paused.  "In fact, I think I'd really enjoy it, so don't you even try."

This speech, delivered totally deadpan towards the end, chilled Jack to the bone.  He stared up at Connor, noting for the first time the brackets of pain around his mouth and the cold look in his eyes.  Towering above him, looking down with a blend of anger and superiority, Jack realized with a shudder that Connor reminded him of someone.  He couldn't think of who it was, but he knew instinctively that it wasn't a good thing.

"I'll go make a fire," Connor continued frostily, "and if you leave while I'm gone, don't expect me to come save you."

With that, he turned and stomped away, leaving Jack lying still at the ground, trying to figure out who Connor reminded him of with an intensity that worried him.

*****************************************************

"Sir?"

Edgar reined in his horse at the sound of Gavin's tentative voice behind him.  "What is it, Gavin?"

"I...I see something.  Over there, sir."

Following the direction of his squire's slightly trembling finger, Edgar blinked, wondering if the vision could possibly be real.  

She wound her way through the trees, wearing wispy, diaphanous silver garments.  Her eyes were large and doe-like, her hair was lustrous, and her hands beckoned to him.  Slowly, Edgar dismounted from his horse, whispering soothing words in its ear to keep it calm, all the while, staring at the angel of loveliness who had appeared before him.

Now she was right in front of him, looking at him as though he was all she had ever wanted in her life.  Gently, she lifted her hand to him.  Feeling totally humbled in the presence of such beauty, Edgar fell to his knees and grasped her hand, kissing it gallantly.  He blinked almost embarrassedly, not understanding the tears that were welling behind his eyes.  It was almost as though he was staring into the sun, and he had to look away, lest it burn him.

"Lady," he whispered roughly, "I am... overwhelmed."

A winsome smile curved her lips.  "Good sir," she said in a quiet, lilting voice, "I have been wandering through this forest for...goodness only knows how long.  Could you possibly help me?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed.  "Never let it be said that Prince Edgar abandoned a damsel in need."  Standing up, he found that he towered over her petite form, and felt a fierce need to protect her.  Looking down at her upturned face, there was something rapturously familiar about it.  Remembering his quest, he bowed again and said, "Lady, I apologize if I...overreach, but is there any chance that you are the Princess Lily?"

Her eyes lit up delightedly.  "Indeed!" she blushed.  "I am she... Who would you be, fair rescuer?"

"I am... I am Edgar," he murmured, feeling as though he was falling deep into her brown eyes.  Inside, his heart sang with delight.  It was Lily! She was every bit as beautiful as he had heard, as he had imagined, and his quest was a success, even before he'd needed to face any sort of danger.  "I am your betrothed."

Her lips parted in a soundless gasp.  "You are Edgar? I can scarcely believe it! You have come to rescue me, have you not?"

"Indeed," he said, "and I vowed not to return to my castle without you."

She blushed and glanced downward in a demure manner that nearly sent him reeling.  She was so ladylike, so modest, so very decorous, so...so... Edgar's brow creased slightly, despite his rapture.  ...so unlike herself.  The girl he had met years before had been stubborn, mischievous, and a determined flirt.  The young woman standing in front of him now was exquisite, no doubt about that, but he suddenly had the feeling that something was off.  Oh, it was possible that her willful behavior had been leeched from her with years of royal training, but that very headstrong nature had enchanted him since the time he was a child.  Would she really have lost it so completely?

While she was still batting her eyelashes at the ground, Edgar glanced up at Gavin questioningly.  Gavin's face was bright red, but he had served Edgar long enough to know what that tilt of the prince's dark eyebrows meant.  Soundlessly, he shrugged, and then nodded.  Edgar quickly and correctly interpreted those quick movements as saying that Gavin didn't know, since he'd never actually seen the Princess Lily before, but that yes, he did have the feeling that something wasn't right.

Edgar looked back at Lily's elegant face, and again felt the magnetic pull towards her.  "Tell me, Lady," he said hastily, trying to keep his thoughts clear, "how long has it been since I've been lucky enough to lay eyes on you?"

She laughed, every peal like a silver bell ringing, and waved a hand carelessly.  "Heavens," she replied, "I cannot even remember.  It's been quite a long time, hasn't it?"

"Oh, indeed.  Not since we were both children."  He smiled genuinely, remember what a little hellion she had been.  "My dear lady, do you remember the first time we met? Never in my life have I been so determined, but I'll admit that you had me quite...flummoxed."

"Indeed?" she laughed again.  "I had no idea, Edgar."

"Oh, indeed," he laughed conspiratorially, putting his head close to hers.  "No matter what I did, I simply couldn't get you to pay attention to me.  Why, I finally had to kiss you on the cheek to induce you to look at me!"  He held his breath, waiting for her response.

"Ah, yes, that's right!" she exclaimed, bashfully holding a hand up to her cheek.  "A very rapscallion of a young lad you were too!"

Slowly, his mind screaming out a warning, Edgar stepped back from her.  "Too true, Lady," he said, the smile on his face fixed.  "Do you remember how angry your father was?"

Lily frowned, a line creasing her brow.  "Hmmm... If I recall correctly..." she paused for a long moment.  "Ahh, yes! He was _furious _at you.  He nearly threatened to have you clapped in irons!"

He backed up another step.  "Who are you?" he whispered.

She blinked, the beatific smile on her face fading slightly.  "What are you talking about, Edgar? I'm Lily, and you're going to take me back to your castle and make me _your_ princess... yes?"

"No," he said flatly.  "I would, if you _were_ Lily, but those things I told you... They never happened.  If you were truly my Lily, you would know not only that I was a shy lad, but that you kissed me and your father laughed and told my father to let bygones be bygones.  So who are you? And where is Lily? Speak quickly, foul demon, before I slit your throat."

The kind look on her face gone, the girl threw herself at him, nails outstretched, shrieking like a demented banshee.  With no time to protect himself, Edgar recoiled, arms automatically going up to block his face, anticipating the pain that would follow her fingertips.

But no pain came.

As he watched, Gavin, who had apparently dismounted his horse while neither Edgar nor the Lily look-alike had been paying attention, jumped in her path, grabbed her wrists, and flung her to the ground.  As her lips curled in a snarl and she made as though to bound back to her feet for a second attempt, Gavin smoothly drew his sword and placed the gleaming point against her neck.

"Don't threaten my Lord," he said forcefully, "or I'll be forced to paint a red smile across your throat.  Now reveal your true self."

She hissed, but as the pressure against her throat increased, her features blurred.  Edgar blinked, looking at her intently.  When the haze that was now her form cleared and solidified again, he found himself staring into the irate, iridescent blue eyes.

He involuntarily took a step backwards to defend himself against the rage he saw in those eyes.  Slowly, his eyes drifted to the wispy blond hair that seemed to float around her skinny face, the skinny, but muscular limbs that showed under her dress (if it could, indeed, be called that, for it seemed to be made of nothing more substantial than spider webs and dew), and the small translucent wings that protruded from her shoulder blades.

"Who _are_ you?" Edgar repeated, his eyes hard.  "And what do you want? Don't think I'll take mercy just because you're some sort of pixie."

"You fool!" the fairy spat at him.  "If you had any sense at all, you'd go back to your home and stay there.  Stay away from her."

Ignoring Gavin's cry of warning, Edgar crouched down and grasped her upper arms roughly, shaking her.  "Do you speak of the Princess Lily? Where _is_ she?" he asked angrily.  "I half-suspect you of having a hand in her disappearance, and if I find out that you are involved, no set of wings can fly fast enough to save you from me."

"Princess Lily, Princess Lily, Princess Lily," the fairy mocked bitterly.  "It's always about the Princess Lily, isn't it? Well, you see this forest? It's dead, and it's because of your precious _Princess Lily_!" 

"Speak sense," he warned darkly.  "Where is she?"

"Beyond your grasp, you prancing idiot," she snarled.  "Let me _go_!"

On that last word, despite his grasp, she disappeared, and all that was left was a small globe of light, buzzing around the dead trees angrily, until it too flew away.

Edgar stood up slowly, shaking his head.  He turned to Gavin, who was sheathing his sword, his face slightly pasty.  "Gavin," he said, feeling no less ill than his squire looked, "I thank you.  Your quick thinking may have saved my life... I have never seen you so...so..." He groped for the words, his dazed mind not giving him any.

Gavin merely shrugged, grinning, though the side of his smile twitched.  "It's what I've been trained for, Price Edgar.  I may not... like it, but it is my duty."

Edgar clapped him on the shoulder.  "I do not like it any more than you do, but..." He gazed off into the bleak distance and sighed.  "I think that we can now safely say that whatever has happened to Princess Lily, it is not as simple as a case of kidnapping or running away.  I—" he mounted his horse, looking miserable.  "I am afraid of what might have happened, Gavin.  But we must continue, yes?"

Gavin nodded wordlessly, and swung himself back up onto his own horse.

Edgar patted his stallion on the neck, speaking more comforting words to it, trying to make sense of what was happening, but he just couldn't.  It didn't make any sense, and he was terrified for Lily, for the trouble that she might have somehow gotten herself into.

He firmed his chin.  Whatever had happened, he couldn't help if he just sat there, being afraid.  "_Ya_!" he yelled, digging his heels into the horse's side, and followed closely by Gavin, they bolted off through the deadened trees.

******************************************

Darkness paced the shadows of his cave, growling angrily to himself.  That stupid, inept little _fool_!

When she did finally arrive, though, she looked no more in the mood to have a calm chat than he felt.  "You called?" she scowled.

"Indeed."  Inhaling loudly and exasperatedly through his nostrils, Darkness seated himself majestically.  "Just what was that little farce supposed to accomplish?"

"He was supposed to return to his castle.  I don't want him, or anyone else, getting in the way.  The more people there are, the less likely it becomes that things will go our way," the fairy explained angrily.

"...And you couldn't even fool that pretty peacock?" He steepled his fingers.  "What a little incompetent you are."

"Do you want Lily or not?"

He snarled.  "Of course I do, which is why I called you here.  If you had been paying attention, instead of going on your little quest for vengeance, you would know that Lily is caught in a storm."

"Oh?" She crossed her arms, looking recalcitrant.  "And?"

"I haven't the strength to magic myself into the middle of a storm," he explained slowly, wanting to throttle her and her little smug face.  "You promised to get her here alive."

"I _will!"_she said shrilly.  "But you have to let me do this in my own way.  We had a _deal_."

"A deal in which your pretty little head is sure to sorely miss your shoulders should you fail me," he sat back, gazing down upon her contemptuously.  "If you want that Jack of yours, delay no longer."

She bowed mockingly.  "Yes, your grace.  I will go."  The scornful smile evaporated and she spat at him, "and I hope you enjoy the fruits of what you will reap!"

Before he could rise from his seat regally and demand that she inform him of her meaning, she was already gone.

Darkness growled again to himself.  Damn that impulsive fairy! He still wasn't quite sure if she'd rather have her revenge on Lily or have the vapid forest boy, and until he was sure, he couldn't take any chances.  

He would have to take matters into his own hands.


	13. thirteen

Lily could see the warmth, flickering and dancing across the backs of her closed eyelids. It tickled at her nose, smoothed its grasp over her cheeks, and sent rivulets of heat shooting down throughout her body, slowly beginning to banish the cold that seemed to have encased her very veins.

She had been elsewhere, a cold, dark world where she was completely alone. Lost, with only the howling of the wind in her ears to keep her company, she had floated in that hazy state. She had wondered only vaguely if she was dead, if this was her afterlife. Even that unsettling thought had only poked lazily at the edges of her mind, though, before floating away and losing itself amidst the utter cold.

The longer she had drifted, the more certain her weak thoughts had been that she must have died in the blizzard, but she just couldn't seem to make herself care. Drifting further and further away from all coherent thought and hope had been remarkably peaceful, and even the image of a pair of gentle eyes looking into hers with tenderness and love had evoked only a passing sadness. She didn't even know whose eyes they were.

Suddenly, though, had come this strange warmth, the color of fire, a faraway voice saying – of all things – "He'll never keep his bargain if you die, so wake up, you mealymouthed Princess!" and in the first real thought she'd had in – oh, she couldn't say how long; it could have been hours, days, it could have been years – two words implanted themselves in her mind.

_Not yet._

Not yet. She wasn't done yet. It wasn't time for her to drift away, to just let go of life as if there were nothing she held precious. It wasn't time for her to turn away, forsaking everything – and everyone – she'd sworn to protect. It wasn't _her_ time. There was too much left to do.

The longer those two words beat out a rhythm in her head, playing themselves over and over again, the stronger their sound became and the deeper it entrenched itself into her soul. _Not yet. Not yet. Not yet._ Her blood pulsed to the beat of _Not yet_ and the roaring in her ears was no longer the wind, but millions upon millions of tiny whispers overlaid, all saying only one thing.

Memories began to pour back, filling and warming the frozen void. Memories of a father, looking down at her with affection. Memories of a boy who didn't know how to speak to her, but whose grateful and awed expression had spoken volumes. Memories of a sword, briefly in her hands, but taken away again. Memories of a forest, dazzling in the sunlight, and mysterious in the moonlight. Memories of a man making her laugh until she wept, holding her with tenderness even though it was her fault that his execution papers had been signed. Memories of terror and madness, of the great horned Beast who looked at her with such desire, and the awakening lust she hadn't been able to stop.

It was her life, all of her life, but the memories didn't stop there. They continued to flood back to her, little things, tiny details and anecdotes long since forgotten. The golden flecks in the eyes of her mother's portrait. Falling down a staircase as a toddler, but only crying until her father had been fetched. A dark-haired boy who wouldn't look up from his book no matter how she flounced and pouted. The silken rasp of another's hands against her skin. The autumn bite in the air when she went to see the Swordmaster, clad in only a nightgown.

So much that had been lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life now revealed itself, and now she realized that her life was full, so very full of colors and sensations and so many _people_ and she wondered how she could even have _thought_ of giving it all up, even for a moment's peace, because, after all, she had so much to live for…

Lily opened her eyes.

* * *

Darkness sat impatiently in the recesses of his dark cave, taloned fingers tapping impatiently against the stone of his rough-hewn throne. He could see in his mind's eye that the sprite had found Lily, had started a fire, and was even now attempting to restore some circulation in the girl's deadened arms.

Perhaps he had underestimated that wisp of a sprite… or, at least, underestimated the depths of her fairy lust for that human boy. It shouldn't have surprised him, just how far she was willing to go. After all, she – formerly the companion of that pesky forest spirit – had come to _him_, after all.

If he had one true weakness besides light, it was that he underestimated his foes. Darkness frowned, considering that in his powerful mind. He had underestimated that _boy_ and his ragtag band of dwarves and fairies, and he had certainly underestimated the strength and resolve of the Princess Lily – not that her strength was unattractive. On the contrary, when he thought of taking that resolve into his own hands, caressing and weakening it, playing on it as though it were a fine-tuned instrument until she was his entirely… A smile of anticipation crossed his face.

Once Lily arrived, had come to him, there would be no need of locks or restraints. Her largely untapped passion would betray her, and though she might weep and rage, her body and soul would belong to him as clearly as if he had taken a brand and stamped his mark into her flesh.

He would, of course, have those pathetic humans who sought to protect her destroyed. During his previous assignation with the princess, he had grown careless, had allowed those annoying insects to dart about his Fortress, assuming that they could do _him_ no harm, had even, in a moment of terrible weakness and desire, confessed his aversion to sunlight to the wise-eyed beauty the princess had seemed to become.

Those had led to his downfall, to his near-destruction. He would not allow that to happen again. Not this time. He would brook no interference from those foolish mortals and their ridiculous, starry-eyed affections. If there was to be any interference, it would be from _him_.

"Very well, fairy," he murmured, his voice echoing to the cave around him. "It seems you will actually save her. Perhaps I will keep you alive a bit longer. In the meantime…"

Darkness closed his eyes and reached for the blackness within himself, entering the World of Dreams as easily as opening a door. It was a grey, misty place, enlivened only by the flashes of color that were people's dreams. Those two simmering blotches of green and grey just over _there_ belonged to those two men up on the mountain, the flash of silver over _there_ was that foolish princeling's, while the brown wisp behind it belonged to the squire. And just _there_, that curving, tawny-colored dream was the Princess Lily's. All living things dreamt, and he could find – and influence – any of those dreams here, in this world that let him invade the sleeping mind. For once, though, he did not seek out Lily's dream, nor even the grey dream of the man on the mountain, though his presence filled Darkness with such wild thoughts and ambitions.

No, Darkness floated above all of those tormented dreams, gazing with a heated eye upon the dreams of the three he was looking for. One was beige, one was purple, and one – the one that Darkness eyed most eagerly – was such a dark blue as to almost be black.

These three dreams belonged to three men of power, three kings. Lily's father, her betrothed's father, and the third, the one upon which Darkness pinned his ambition. He had already subtly influenced that man's daughter, whispering to her, poisoning her mind, but her power over her father was limited. Unless Darkness acted now, influenced the father directly, the foolish man would soon take his armies and return home. No, he could not allow that. Not now, when things were finally going so well.

It was so simple to do: Darkness stepped into one man's dream, whispering doubts, feeding anger and mistrust, strengthening pride. When he was done there, he moved on… and then again.

Mortals were so easy to influence.

Only the Princess had ever even tried to fight back.

* * *

"How did you find me?" Lily asked through chattering teeth, warming herself at the small campfire that had brought her back from the brink. Though the blizzard outside seemed to have subsided, the air was still quite cold.

Oona shrugged coolly, her bright blue eyes shadowed in the dark of their cave. "'Twas fairy instinct, Princess. Any of my kind could have found you easily. I was just the only one with a mind to."

"Oh," Lily said weakly. Despite the new clarity of her memories – all the more vivid, Lily suspected, because of her recent brush with death – her mind was still sluggish, and her thoughts something of a blur. "Well, I… Thank you, Oona. For saving my life."

Oona reached behind her and tossed another branch on the fire; Lily half-suspected that the fairy was pulling the sticks of wood out of thin air. Unless the fairy had brought the branches with her from Gump's forest, which Lily doubted… A new, urgent thought occurred.

"Gump!" Lily gasped.

Oona paused, her hands frozen in their task, and she seemed to actually look at Lily for the first time, but her mouth remained closed.

"Is he all right?" Lily asked pleadingly. "I was… I was in the forest, and then something _happened_, I don't know what, but all of the trees suddenly…" She trailed off, struck to silence by the look in Oona's otherworldly eyes.

It was a look of such utter desolation and rage that it nearly took Lily's breath away, but then it was gone, and a frosty glaze slid over her eyes, leaving them emotionless, as though they'd never been filled with turbulent passion. At the same time, Oona tossed the stick into the fire, but it was a graceless movement, unlike her usual lithe gestures.

"Dead," Oona said shortly.

Lily's hand flew to cover her mouth as she stared in horror. Hoping against hope that the curt word hadn't really been _dead_, had been something else – maybe _wed_ or even _fed_ – she took a deep breath. "Did you… Did you just say –"

"I said _dead_. Died in my arms. Gone. And the forest with him." Oona threw another stick on the fire with ill-concealed anger.

"Oh, _no_," Lily breathed, her eyes filling with tears. She hadn't known Gump very well, but his mischievous smile and words of advice had stayed with her. "The – the forest is completely…"

"Past hope."

Lily drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, shivering. "Was it – Darkness?"

"Of course it was," Oona mumbled. "And it was—" She clamped her small mouth shut tightly.

"Was? Was what?" Lily asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Oona blinked and tossed her head, her wispy hair floating around her like a nimbus. "_You_."

While Lily was still trying to find a way to respond to the accusing word, sharp as a knife, Oona transformed into her natural state, a darting ball of light, and flew from the cave, leaving Lily quite alone.

For a long moment, Lily just stared into the flickering fire, not even bothering to brush away the tear that overflowed her eye and brushed down her cheek. The forest, _her_ forest was gone. Dead. Jack's home… All those animals, those ancient trees, even the soil teeming with life.

And Oona blamed her.

"Why me?" Lily whispered, her voice a thread of pain. "Why would I ever, _ever_…" She trailed off, having suddenly caught a glimpse of what Oona might have been saying. "I let it happen," she said out loud, her hollow voice bouncing back at her from all directions in the cave. "I didn't get to Darkness in time. I _let_ it…"

Though her limbs were still half-frozen, Lily struggled to her feet, scrabbling for her meager possessions. Tearing off a hunk of stale bread from inside her pack, she choked it down as she hurried to the edge of the cave and stepped outside, blinking in the bright sun. The snow reached up past her knees, but she took one step, and then another. Goodness knows she'd been in deep snows before, and she had no time to waste.

The implications of Oona's accusation were clear. Gump was dead because she hadn't hurried enough, hadn't stopped Darkness. And now, if she didn't hurry… What else might be at risk?

Suppressing the little voice inside that was wishing with all its might that she had either Jack or Connor with her, Lily took a deep breath and started slogging forward. She'd started this alone, and, if need be, she could finish this alone.

All the same, she felt weak with relief when, not ten steps from the cave, Oona reappeared, still in her light form, only inches from Lily's face, and spoke in her little, whispery voice.

"Come on!"

Lily blinked uncomprehendingly.

"Do you want to get to Darkness or _don't_ you?" Oona lilted.

"You're going to take me there?" Lily asked.

If balls of light could have rolled their eyes, then that was exactly what Oona would have been doing. "I've been sent to be your guide. Gump wanted you to get there."

"O—Oh," Lily said, and smiled gratefully at the fairy, new tears springing to her eyes. "Thank you, Oona. I won't forget this."

Oona merely flashed in the sun, and flew several feet ahead. Lily lowered her head and, despite the chill still in her bones, plunged forward, following the sprite, wondering only in the back of her mind why Oona's silence felt as though she were trying to say, "_I'm not doing this for _you, _you silly idiot."_

* * *

Jack and Connor sat impatiently around the small campfire they had built, both waiting impatiently for the clouds in the valley to clear. It had been a long night – Though Connor had trapped a rabbit, neither had been hungry, and neither managed to sleep well. They hadn't spent any more time fighting, for which both were grateful, but that was because they hadn't _talked_. The silence that surrounded them had been both sullen and thick with tension.

Finally, looking like it was more out of discomfort with the silence than with anything else, Jack asked, "How did you get involved in all of this?"

Connor shot him an unreadable glance. "You certain you want to know the answer to that?"

From the look on his face, it was clear that Jack was reasonably certain that he _didn't_ want to know the answer, but all the same, he replied, "Yes, go ahead."

Sighing, Connor leaned back and stared at the sky. "Hard to say. This whole mess has been kind of a blur. To, uh, make a long story short—"

"No, let's hear the long story." Jack laced his fingers together and stared at Connor.

Uncomfortably remembering when _he_ had said the same to Princess Lily, Connor awkwardly cleared his throat. He rather wanted to tell Jack exactly _where_ he could stick his questions, but, with an effort, he reminded himself that this was the man that she professed to love. She certainly didn't _act_ like it – the way she had asked Connor to seduce her, the way she had looked at him – but she kept repeating over and over that she loved Jack. And, as her sworn bodyguard, he was bound to do the right thing by him.

That was another thing that was bothering him, even though not quite as pressingly as the issue of whether Lily was still alive or not. But… The ease with which he seemed to discard his scruples when she was involved disturbed him. He had no family, no friends, no _future_… All he had was his honor… Or rather, all he had to _lose_. Without his honor, he became…

"I suppose I take after my father after all," he muttered darkly.

"What?" Jack inquired from over the dying fire.

"N-nothing," Connor said, forcibly bringing his focus back to the present. "Uh, what was the question again?"

Jack gestured to himself with exaggerated patience. "I know how I'm involved in all this. _You_ know how I'm involved, because you knew who I was when we met. But I don't know where you fit in."

"Oh. That." Connor raked his dirty hair back from his forehead, trying to think of a sensitive way to explain to Jack. "I swore to protect Lily… Okay, the _Princess_ Lily," he corrected when Jack's brow furrowed. "And I saw her sneaking out from the castle, so I followed. That's why I'm here now."

"To _protect_ her," Jack said. "And I guess that would explain why I found the two of you – the two of you…" He trailed off, seemingly unable to finish, but the hangdog expression on his face finished his sentence for him.

"I already told you," Connor said quietly, "that I l—care about her as much as you do."

"And what about her?" Jack asked, the casual tone belied by the intensity in his dark eyes.

Connor could only shrug, having wondered the same himself. "Do either of us speak for her?" he asked in return.

Jack stared into the flames for a moment. "I won't lose to you," he said finally, steel in his voice. "You should know that."

"Then we have a problem, because I don't intend to lose to you," Connor replied, equally intent. After a moment, though, he grinned crookedly. If it weren't for Lily, he could almost be friends with Jack, he thought.

"Do you think it's safe to go down there yet?" Jack gestured at the valley, which Connor could actually see now through wisps of mist.

Connor sighed. Much as he wanted to find Lily and keep her safe from the elements, as well as from herself – and anyone else who got in his way – he dreaded going down there. What if what they found was… No, he didn't want to think about that. Surely, _hopefully_, she was smart enough to keep herself warm in the blizzard, to find some shelter, or _something_.

"Sure," he said finally. "Let's go." Standing up and stretching in the chill morning air, he kicked some dirt over the fire, slowly and deliberately. Jack, on the other hand, had leapt to his feet and was dashing down the steep mountainside. "You're going to fall and break every bone in your body," Connor muttered dryly, "and I'm not going to do a damn thing to help you."

Eventually, though, he followed, though more carefully, hand on his sword hilt, scanning the area around them. It took nearly a half hour to reach the valley, even at a surefooted trot. Stepping into the knee-high snow, Connor grimaced. It had been a nasty storm, and even now, he and Jack (Jack _especially_ with his bare legs) would be lucky to escape the snow without frozen feet or limbs.

"Don't worry," he muttered to himself, watching Jack dash from rock to rock, looking for a familiar spill of brown ringlets, "She might not even _be_ here. She might be miles ahead, laughing at us."

Despite his confident tone, Connor frowned worriedly. Somehow, and he still wasn't sure how or when, Lily had become the most important person in the world to him, and if they couldn't find her – or worse, if they did, and she wasn't all right – he wasn't sure what he'd do. He took a deep breath and started searching.

He was halfway across the valley before he heard Jack's shout. Immediately, Connor wheeled around and ran as quickly as he could to where Jack was standing, staring down at a trail in the snow.

"Someone was here!" Jack said excitedly.

Connor scanned the trail and nodded. "Yes. Someone in a skirt, not trousers." He looked around. The trail led on one end to a small cave, half-hidden by the snow. Peeking inside, Connor saw a dying fire, but not one single person. "Someone was in here, but there's no one now," he called back to Jack.

Jack groaned. "We _missed_ her." He stared down at the trail.

"Hey, what are you mad about?" Connor asked. "She's _alive_. And – and we know which way she's headed! Shouldn't that make you happy?" For himself, at least, he couldn't keep a relieved smile from his face.

"If you had just let me come down here, we could have found her!" Jack shouted, whirling around in the deep snow to glare at Connor.

Connor stared back in disgust. "What are you _talking_ about? Even if we were down here, we might not have found her in the blizzard!"

"I would have found her!"

"You're an _idiot_!" Connor shouted back, giving in to his temper, which had been sorely abused lately. "You live in a damn forest, shouldn't you know that you can't track in a blizzard!"

"I could follow her to the ends of the earth," Jack insisted stubbornly, hands on his hips.

Connor growled in frustration. "And that's why you didn't recognize her when she was right in front of you?" he yelled, viewing the shocked look on Jack's face with grim satisfaction. "That's right, she told me that you were _this_ close to her, and you didn't even recognize her."

"You are a – a – " Jack apparently didn't have the vocabulary for what Connor was, but his lips curled back in a feral snarl, giving Connor just enough time to prepare before Jack leapt at him.

And then his world was all fists and biting teeth and the cold of the snow and the satisfaction of _finally_ getting to vent his frustration and aggression on someone who didn't look at him with big doe eyes afterwards and make him feel like he was… nothing more than an _animal_.

* * *

Edgar couldn't help shuddering as their horses finally stepped up to the mountains, leaving the eerie dead forest behind. He'd never seen anything like it before. Certainly he'd seen sections of forest burned after lightning strikes or a campfire raged out of control, and he'd seen trees killed by some sort of sickness, but this was something entirely different. A whole forest, struck down by some unknown force, nothing alive but for him, Gavin, and their horses… This bespoke something beyond his understanding, something terrifying, which was confirmed by that strange fairy who had attacked them the previous day.

Gavin, too, seemed to be relieved. He let out a long sigh, his freckled face breaking into an embarrassed smile. "We're going into the mountains?" he asked.

Edgar looked around them, patting his horse on the flank. The poor horses had clearly been terrified the entire night, white-eyed, snorting, and ears pricked. "Yes," he replied after a moment. "It's possible that what we seek is still in this forest… but I cannot imagine that any living thing would stay here. Even if it's the wrong way, _I_ need to get out of this forest. As do the horses, and, I think," he added, "you."

Gavin nodded gratefully, and the two young men urged their horses forward. Colder though it was growing, even the air seemed cleaner and more alive, the colors more vivid now that they couldn't see the forest all around them anymore.

They were no more than a few minutes into the mountain range when Gavin pulled his horse to a stop, frowning. "Prince Edgar," he said, "do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Edgar asked, but now that he was listening, he did seem to hear voices raised in anger, far away, but echoing their rage to the sky. If he listened closely, he could even understand what they were saying. "Yes," he said wonderingly. "I do." He blinked. "Someone just yelled that someone else is an idiot." A tired grin touched his face. "And yelled it _very_ loudly."

"Should we investigate?"

"Are you _joking_, Gavin?"

"Prince Edgar?"

"Of _course_ we investigate," Edgar replied firmly, his heart already pounding in nervous anticipation. "_Anything_ could be the clue that leads us to the Princess." He exhaled shakily. "I'm coming, Lily," he murmured under his breath, and spurred his horse to a gallop.

* * *

**A/N:** I know I say this every single time, but I promise I won't abandon this story again. Really. 


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